IEP advice

Yes, this is unfortunately very common -- if a child is not struggling academically, the school often will not give them an IEP, no matter what medical diagnosis they have. I've also found that the non-academic support - speech, OT, etc - isn't usually very extensive in school. We ended up doing private OT on top of school OT. School mainly focused on handwriting.

That is absolutely a bald faced lie. If you're kiddo is in the USA and diagnosed with ASD, there is nothing stopping them from putting IEP in place. Many school districts don't like to unless it's also helping make things easier for them because it's a legally binding contact. There's no legal reason they need to wait until there's a problem to have accommodations in place and no good reason to wait until you're child is having problems or falling behind to address issues

From what I saw on 2E groups (gifted +ASD/ADHD/etc), indeed, many are switched to 504. But if there is a risk of elopements, frequent meltdowns, that require accommodation, they will keep the IEP. My daughter is advanced academically but can elope without looking back in seconds.She is 5 and reads at 2nd grade level, solves 2-digit addition and substraction problems, and has IEP.

504 and IEP are two different things but BOTH protected classes. 504 is not less than IEP, it’s just different. Your child may very well NOT qualify for an IEP but DOES qualify for 504 which would still entitle her to OT or other specialized services depending on her need and formal diagnosis.

Yes. Our oldest was advanced at everything academic, so didn’t qualify for an IEP. He got a 504, but even getting that took quite a few years.

All 3 of my other kids, including the two who aren’t autistic, had/have IEPs, all for different reasons, but they were behind grade level, so of course they qualified.

They don’t need to be struggling academically to have an IEP for ASD. It’s not an intellectual disability with an academic criteria for diagnosis. My daughter has dyslexia, but she’s not far enough behind in reading to qualify for Specific Learning Disability. She responded well to regular intervention programs. That is a criteria for that disability on an IEP, but medically she still has dyslexia. 

Has your child been diagnosed by a private doctor or through the school or both? There are children who medically meet the criteria for ASD, but are still able to thrive in an educational setting without support. This would mean they don’t qualify for the educational ASD diagnosis and an IEP. BUT since it is a disability that impairs social skills the school needs to look beyond academics to determine eligibility. If your child needs frequent breaks from class due to sensory issues they need to consider that. If they are struggling to interact with peers or work in groups with peers they need to consider that. 

My son and daughter were diagnosed late. My son essentially wouldn’t talk to anyone except the teacher. He is very socially stunted and needs a lot of support to manage classroom activities like turning in assignments. He kept forgetting where the bin was to put his paper. In 5th grade. He would lose his belongings and not realize it. But he had the highest grades in his class. He has an IEP and receives social skills training and groups, plus executive function coaching and check ins from his counselor and case manager. His level of social development impairs his ability to function in a classroom. My daughter is totally different from him. She is super outgoing and I never would have thought she could be autistic. We had her evaluated by the school and it was a kinda wishy washy result. We sought a private evaluation and learned her anxiety was actually autism.  She has a lot of sensory issues that manifest in her refusing to complete schoolwork. She is still very smart and capable according to her testing, but the amount of time she needs to be out of the classroom plus her issues working with other students (she is pretty well enraged by anyone disagreeing with her during group work) meant she qualified for the IEP and educational ASD disability. 

If you disagree with the findings of the IEP team you have rights to request an independent evaluation from an outside provider.