u/Apprehensive-Log656

That’s perfect! Takes me right back. Thanks!

I’m probably too late for this conversation, but I want to pick up on the comment that I think was saying that discomfort when around sexual tv etc can be easily explained. From my experience of something similar as a child, the involuntary response from the body is one of the most telling pieces of evidence you have. But tread carefully— it’s also an indication that you’re maybe not feeling safe enough or far away enough from the situation with your dad to fully explore it yet. But listen to it and keep safe as evidence.

Christopher Norris — Quantum Theory and the Flight from Reality. He’s perfect to bridge that gap as he is in philosophy (formerly Eng Lit) and yet really knows what he’s doing here. I think (someone better qualified might know different) that he is broadly against the Copenhagen interpretation? Anyway, a good read.

I teach at a uni and often teach Foundation students. There are lots of red flags in your post and you're right to want to think twice before committing. It seems that the reasons to stick with your plan are ones to do with your own efforts, like having a good relationship and being independent, and the negative ones are to do with the actual course. You have genuine concerns and the course. A lot of unis are doing weird things with courses just to balance the books and they often lead to worse experiences for students at the moment. My feeling is that if you deferred a year these courses will have either improved or closed. But we're in a middle period atm of upheaval in unis.
You've worked hard to get to where you are.
Plan A could be stick with your present route, and if it's awful then transfer at the end year one.
Plan B could be to defer and have time to think (a uni will normally keep your place for you for next year)
Plan C could be to try clearing this year. Many universities are still open for clearing and are accepting students so you could find yourself in a better course.
If you really can't decide, try contacting the Students Union at the uni and talking it through to get an idea of what's really happening.
Whatever you decide I'm sure will be the right choice. Good luck!

If you can't upload it's a problem on the uni's side, not yours -- but that doesn't help you much.
Basically, the key is to somehow get the essay to an official at the uni before the 11am deadline. This proves that you are not late.
I'd suggest looking in your inbox for any admin, faculty email and reply to that. Subject heading should say urgent.
Put full details and your student ID number and that you are formally submitting the essay since the appropriate route does not work. Give them the module number and your lecturer's name. You could also tell the SU too in case you need back up.

I get why you are panicking. I teach at a university and can offer what i think might happen. You have failed 30 credits which is usually within the amount to allow you to resubmit that module as a second attempt. Your transcript should tell you this but they are often hard to figure out as they use codes etc.
It might mean that the result is capped at a minimum pass (40%) but it's still a pass. Since passing the module is a pre-requisite to moving on to the next year your resubmission should be marked before the start of the semester and therefore would allow you to carry on to the new uni. I can't see why you wouldn't get another attempt unless you have previously had to retake the entire year.
So... Email the admin office at the uni and ask when your resubmission date is and when you can expect the updated transcript when you pass. Try not to worry!

Be upfront in the first lecture about anxiety -- saying it's OK for the students to feel anxious at the start of a new module. Even the students who are not anxious like the fact that you raise it. Like others on this thread I also use an app -- i like Mentimeter (they type answers or comments on their phones and it appears on the big screen). The students really appreciate this as not everyone is confident to yell out the answers/debates etc. Seems to all make a good atmosphere for the class. :)

They watched The Shining?

I enjoy teaching but found out a long time ago that students quickly zone out periodically because, as other posters have said, it’s too informationally dense. If you’re lucky they zone back in. Now I use Mentimeter app and found it transformative. The students type into they phones and put considered comments up on the shared screen at the front of the class which then leads to better discussion in further comments. Also — hugely important— everyone is taking part, not just the usual two or three confident ones. I found that you get real respect for being so inclusive, especially by the ones who are confident enough to verbally yell out discussion points. But yes I totally get what you mean.

NOR. I’m a writer and also teach MFA creative writing at a university. The group dynamics you describe and not at all conducive to creativity. In fact the exact opposite. A good group should feel inclusive and make you feel like your creative voice, whatever and however that turns out, is welcome (barring obvious— anything offensive). Once you feel like a great working environment has been created, then you can start to nudge people to improve with structured critiques. Everyone has something to offer, everyone has insights to give, not just the group leader. This group sounds like it’s run by a disorganised person, set up to feed they own ego. Best to gently back out. But to not lose touch with other writers in the group suggest you all meet now and then to support each other.

Bear in mind as well that the PhD student-supervisor relationship is not like that of student-teacher. You are now at the same level as them, just further back down the road. You are the expert and they are assisting you as a critical friend. This took me ages to realise, that when you get comments that pull apart your ideas it’s like acceptance that you are on the same level and they are treating you with respect. So, like the other poster says, unless it’s questioning your whole ability to carry on with it, you’re doing incredible.

Is it from Tintin in Tibet, when he dreams of Chang?

You can try areas of south west England, where it was in arid, dry desert for millions of years. Where I live in Mid Devon it’s Permian layers of sand coloured stone and the soil is red, no fossils to speak of and no calcium carbonate strata, as in the photo here. This mini quarry is in the Crediton Trough. :)

https://preview.redd.it/qf94ve0yfm8g1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09a73083ea467ec849901aee8c59ad93f1fa45c3

First, don’t blame yourself! The fact you notice says you’re totally fine to begin with. I’ve been teaching at HE for 19 years and I’ve always wanted to get everyone included, with varying degrees of success. I’ve gotten better engagement since using Mentimeter app. It made me rethink about inclusion. I got nominated for Inspirational Teacher last year by the students. We’re all still learning how to do it better. Colleagues not questioning themselves seem to get low satisfaction scores…

As a supervisor at undergrad and MA, I think you’re certainly fine to offer a small gift, it feels right given what you describe. Chances are the supervisor knows you needed a bit of extra support and you are simply acknowledging that appropriately. Go for it.

I think you’re doing really great, considering two things: the state of current funding in HE and the squeeze of research funding after brexit. I’m an early career researcher, though a lot older ( I started late) so to me you look way ahead. Please don’t lose faith, you’re clearly energetic, determined and have a lot to offer when things get more stable in HE. You’re doing the right thing by looking at a PhD as it nudges you closer to more research and maybe teaching.
Regarding your personal life here, that’s reason enough to carry on edging closer to a research/teaching career in the UK. Good luck with this, truly.

That’s really helpful, thanks! I’ll give it a try. 👍

I’m so pleased someone else does this too! I always have some song ‘playing’ in my mind, and it changes according to what I feel. Sometimes i think about the song in my mind and realise it’s telling me about real feelings going on which i tend not to notice (I’m always late to identify my feelings!), so it all helps i guess. Anyway, a long winded way of saying thank you for posting that!

Definitely, Berry Pomeroy has a negative feel to it.