u/Educational-Corgi946

Would she possibly be more willing to do therapy IF she was the one that researched and chose the therapist herself ?

That way, she has a bit more control of the situation. Knowing she is in control rather than feeling like she is being forced again (like as a child)?

So smart

😂 oh dear hahaha

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

True that

🤣🤣

Dismissive avoidant

🤣🤣

🙋‍♀️Question for you (and any DA):

If your ex changed from anxious attachment to DA, Do you think you the relationship would work out?

Or do you think it’s more the whole picture of them, not just their anxious attachment?

I sometimes wonder, if it would workout with an ex, if they changed to a DA. Would it be calmer together, or would there be new things that come up and trigger something. Would we avoid less or more? Seek alone time more, or would we want to spend more time with them?

If there’s no conflict, will that make it worse? To have no conflict we’d both have to be perfect and think the same.

Has anyone ever thought of this or experienced it?

It’s written clear as day in a kind/respectful manner too! They should get kicked out immediately, Actually I think they do get kicked out!

The people who shouldn’t be coming and writing on this thread, are also the ones who “shift the blame” and say their ex is DA, and that’s why it didn’t work out…

when actually they themselves are actually the problem… they need to look deeper into themselves and around

She used to be DA, and is now secure. I can’t say I’ve ever heard her speak negatively about avoidant attachment at all!🤷‍♀️…I think she is very fair and speaks from her perspective as a “ex avoidant”.

The reason she would be doing more videos on avoidant attachment, would simply be because she gets a lot more traction on them.

And does a lot less videos on the other attachments because they wouldn’t get as many views…

People with anxious and/or secure attachment would be the ones experiencing heartbreak from being “discarded”, hence trying to understand, gain clarity which brings in the most views.

They are probably trying to understand or make sense of what is going on if they are the ones who were broken up with.

Avoidants usually are the ones doing the breaking up, so they aren’t looking up videos to understand anything, they can simply just move on.

I notice I start to nit pick at everything..🥲 I don’t like that I do that though, it makes me feel like I’m mean person and most likely comes across very mean…eventually it gets worse and worse and i distance myself more. I have never and never would ghost a serious long term relationship though, ( if it’s only been a few months and they didn’t mean anything to me I text them it’s over and then ghost )if it’s a longer relationship I will communicate after a long time of fighting that I’m not happy and don’t want this anymore.

When did you become aware of attachment styles or your attachment style? Also did you miss her straight after breaking up or did you only just start missing her now?

Why do you think your “missing her” went away when she contacted you?