u/Fake_Versace

Yes lol, advanced because I was a little prick who never wore my back brace.

I'm big enough that I can body most people, I boxed for years and bounced for a few more after that, I haven't lost a fist fight for years. No martial art will save you in a knife fight.

Best case you beat the fuck out of someone but catch a blade in your abdomen.

Like I said, nothing will humble you more than getting stabbed. Doesn't matter how big you are, a weapon in your adversaries hands will always level the playing field.

The BEST martial art is running the fuck away.

Too many people, especially women, take a self-defense class and think they can take down a 300 pound dude with a 2-finger Chinese throat punch or some made-up bullshit designed to grift cash from housewives.

Whatever the most jacked animal I could conceivably fight is.

If you're taking me out, I'm trying my hardest to take you down with me.

How they treat people that might otherwise be looked down on/someone they're not socially obligated to be kind to.

How they react to an emergency.

How they resolve a conflict.

Expand on this if you're willing?

I almost drowned twice.

Once when my sister kicked me in the back of the head coming down a slide and I was so disoriented that I was swimming towards the bottom of the pool until I got yanked out by a lifeguard. Puked pool water in her face as she was about to give me mouth to mouth.

Second when I hit the back of my head while cliff hucking in a quarry. Luckily the older guy who hung around with his friends and let us take nips off of his whisky jumped in and yanked me out because I came to in an SUV on the way to the hospital.

I also got stabbed once but think I was so shocked that it didn't really register until I was getting stitches.

Considered wearing a helmet around all bodies of water since.

My spine is about 2 inches to the left of where it should be in my lower back.

Cool party trick.

I like this one too.

I thought you meant diving at them shoulder first, not the actual weapon, lmao. Yes, a genuine spear would probably fend off most attackers.

It seems nice, funny accent, would visit but there's places a lot closer I'd like to go first.

Please don't take a random street fight to the ground if you can avoid it.

If you're fast it's basically a 100% survival rate. I've been in a lot of bullshit dumb fights that could have ended poorly.

You never know what the guy you're engaged with is thinking. I'd rather run.

10 years ago I wouldn't have said this but you get stabbed once and you change your mind pretty quickly.

I suppose I get mauled by a tiger and hope I survive. What kind of hypothetical is this?

I cleared brush for the forest service so I'm not the same thing but we did a lot of running water to cordons.

If you don't get in the way, a 30 pack of water isn't going to be looked down on. By the time the smoke chasers get done they're gonna be thirsty.

Nothing but respect for those crazy fuckers. If I can offer a cold drink I'm there.

Just don't put yourself in danger. The best thing you can do is not be another victim.

I got shit for hanging tools from the front of my belt. Never been stabbed in the leg, I'm laughing.

Guy I knew in college fell 35 feet from a balcony. It's like talking to a different person.

Lost basically all of his impulse control combined with chronic pain from injuries incurred.

I get that if I get hit in the nose, you know where all the sudden you can feel the blood rush to your face?

I had to get over the slap thing after working as a bouncer but it wasn't easy. That's the value of working with a good group of dudes.

They can sense the switch flip from across the bar.

Honestly, he tries to distance himself again and again, tosses her to the ground then shows restraint when you can see from his posturing that he's ready to throw a mean hook.

Among Us isn't about being smart, it's about being a convincing liar. If you suck at the game but can lie your way out of a firing squad you'll do well.

If not, enjoy the banter.

I was poor and into high fashion.

Therein lies the crux of my qualms with it.

Either it's close enough that you could build a housing solution, or it's far out in the country where you have to destroy the natural ecosystem to replace an untouched prairie for manicured greens.

I've since moved but we found out the issue was that the relatively soft ground had caused our heavy house to sink while the paving stones that wrapped from the sideyard to the back were light and didn't sink with it.

Water ran down the walk and pooled against the 60 year old foundation, seeping through the breezeblock (it wasn't a solid concrete wall, just cinder built on top of a basement floor with the requisite re-inforcement, then built on top of with concrete beams supporting the main floor). Naturally the water eroded the mortar around the cinderblocks and the seats of the beams.

Never buy a house from an engineer, they overthink everything. Durability in a tornado was awesome though, fucker would probably survive a nuclear blast. Probably why the house was so heavy, would be better suited sitting on top of a huge vein of natural granite instead of in a dirt filled valley.

We did end up putting an extra 2 sump pumps in the floor so I didn't feel like a scumbag when I sold it.

Hides set of clubs behind my back

Haha, yeah, right on!

The chill stories aren't as juicy but here she goes.

We dated for about 6 months and realized we were sexually attracted to each other but shared few common interests or personality traits.

We sat down and talked about it and agreed to go our separate ways. Considered the FWB route but figured it would just be too complicated.

Returned the waffle-maker she gave me because she used it more than me, shook hands very amicably, and haven't talked to her since.

I genuinely don't know. I have small hobbies from time to time but by the time I start to get somewhat specialized in them I move on to something else.

I guess I'm passionate for trying as much as possible before I disappear as a blip in time.