u/FirebirdWriter

Bluey made me cry. I am also a stoic. Not a man but I am the "why can't you feel" tantrum causer many times over because apparently if you don't show it outside it doesn't count to some. Those people don't stick around because I know I feel and they project too much. I celebrate your bluey

I mean is this about being a mother or gender or actually someone being incompatible? Who cares if Karen finds it weird. You love it. I also love it. My wife loves it. We are both women. Find people who love it and have fun with them. She can not love it and it doesn't matter. If she is actively judging this is just her confirmating that it's time to stop investing in this mean girl

Twenty dollars. Probably worth twenty dollars. I have not collected long and I tend to not buy much. I have been gifted some very expensive dolls though and I will treasure them forever.

It took me a while to master this but I started asking myself why it matters what someone else wrote when they're not writing my book and I haven't finished editing it. This call out is now enough but sometimes I have to use examples of my own work and editing changes and show myself that yes it will get there. Hell it'll be awesome

I am team cheat

For me it was immediately on being finished with the surgery. The gas is added during the surgery as they push your internal organs around with it to make sure they're not injured as best they can so it's not a long wait for anyone

Android emulator on your desktop computer?

NTA. I have been where your niece is. Being honest and not letting her stay and demanding reparations may be the best thing you can do right now.

If her behavior costs something and has consequences enabling it becomes less a thing. I didn't have anyone to help me. I had to figure it out myself. I eventually got therapy but that came long after I figured out enough of my shit to get a job to pay for that therapy. So it's not the easy thing but right and easy are complicated.

You enforce the boundaries. She cannot be there. If she is actually trying why didn't she attend the program? Why are you supposed to deal with the costs because she's trying? All of that is manipulative. If she does the work she will learn that trying doesn't remove responsibility for her actions. I am responsible for the violent assault I committed during PTSD. I went to prison as a teenager for that with adults. This saved my life. It didn't have to be that dire but I couldn't access help until a hunger strike by women who murdered their children without remorse. That's who spear headed it because they believed I deserved a chance.

Trying doesn't look like making the same mistakes and throwing a tantrum at consequences. It looks like deploying different coping skills and when something works maintaining it but working with a team to make sure those are safe to try. It means going to therapy. No one wants to. We have to. It means you take responsibility.

I have not been violent since that day. A few reasons. I was on gabapentin and I was over the legal limit. There's a known side effect of rage for that drug and it stops the brain cells renewing. So add that to my lack of coping skills, being in a dangerous situation, and the solution was actually being removed from it. I backslid when I got out of the jail alternative program and was put back in the dangerous environment and back on the dangerously high dose of meds. I caught it. I made the changes. I am now the most chill person my friends know. Why? I have met the situation worth the big reactions. Those don't happen often. When they do I will get upset.

She isn't going to appreciate nor will her mother the boundaries today but she is not owed a free pass because she has issues. I still did the harm. I hit my best friend and put them in a coma because they touched my food and I don't remember it at all. I did it. There were cameras so I saw it. You can see the PTSD shift. You can see the moment my primal self kicks in. She has never seen me since. It's been over twenty years. She knows I plead guilty. Seeing that footage I shut down. No fight. No pushing. I was willing to do whatever made it right. The judge was an idiot sending a child to prison to make an example of PTSD but thankfully the women in prison were better parents than I had (yes even the ones who killed their children for fun). I got lucky that people held me accountable and I got an opportunity for actual help.

No one is owed someone else's safety or mental health in trade for their own wellbeing. This sounds like an emotional hostage situation and you deserve better. Her mother has absolved herself of responsibility and somehow taught this girl that she can get away with things because she has problems. We all have problems. I have OCD, cptsd, anxiety, autism, etc etc. I am still responsible for my actions and choices

Why not write it? I don't think it's wrong to be inspired by other media as long as you're not plagiarizing. This would be a solution to the sadness.

I giggle at Celeste and... Fusebox stopped branching narratives ages ago. It's a poor product that does this. It sucks. I want to say no to chats sometimes too. Nah not in the mood

Tell your kid the truth. You're choosing a few days vs all of them because you need to rest so you can be healthy and here for them long term. Celebrate their fun and also ask your wife which of these are the big ones to your kid so you can prioritize.

My Tzimisce finds your Nossie adorable and would love to adopt them and take them home.

I settled for the limited music allowed by my controlling and abusive parents. Amy Grant was, before her scandal, too risque. So I had Christian music and I don't mean gospel. I mean the bland stuff that holds no value and is basically songs by white women that sound like they want to have sex with Jesus vs respectful worship. There's a few men who do that too. They are why crucifix have abs for days jokes go here.

In college I was free to explore. I dabbled in country, then world music, then rap, then jazz. The end result is I like most music. It's all still fresh and new. Every genre has something worthwhile and it's my job to find it. Not paid but you know. It's my quest.

So no. I only avoid gangster rap and Christian music. Gospel too but only because I don't want the lyrics. Gospel inspired metal is a thing I enjoy often however.

Kid me would love what I found out of the white supremacist cult I was raised in I think but I would try to find complex harmonies in the things allowed. It's not good music because it's not written to be good music but to prove they love Jesus more than you and they'll prove it in the bedroom

Ah yes this cliche. You can be doing everything right and be fat. I would know. My meals have been curated to be the specific calorie and nutrients density with my doctors for years. Didn't change my weight. No amount of exercise did either. I have many medical issues and 0 of them are because of the size of my body. It's the other way around. That was never up to me. This sort of assumption is why skinny people don't see the doctor when they should. Note no one should have an assumption of health and wellness based on their body size so this isn't a call to shame skinny people either. It's a reminder that if someone cannot change a thing in five minutes you don't comment on it and it isn't in fact helping someone to tell them they are fat. That's an old song and dance. I know I'm fat. We all know if we are. Berating me for eating is what gave me an eating disorder and it did not in fact make me healthier. Why? Shocker but it's not how humans work

Fat person here? I hear you but I think you missed something. They had nothing else to argue and lost so went for the insult that was the most base and obvious for many of your examples. This is them confirming they're not worthy of your time. Your size or mine shouldn't change our value. I pay attention to the people who do this and will stop investing time and energy into them or any relationship. I maintain politeness but I give nothing because they're not worth my time.

This freed up a lot of energy and it means the people and relationships I curated are all positive. I have a ridiculously healthy friend group because we chose one another and there's no tolerance for bs. Boundaries get set but they also get respected.

The feelings are valid but you missed your wins. That's their goal with such a thing too. The trash has bagged itself to be removed. Respond accordingly. Give them nothing.

Also I appreciate you protesting for the rights of others. That's not a small act and I can't do that for medical reasons so I'm glad someone else can and does. The good things that matter to the grand scheme are being done well here. The people who resort to this behavior are unworthy of your time and energy

So you expect the doctors to let her rip her vagina to her butthole? That's why they're done. Less harm.

This is misattributed guilt. You were literally born. This was done to her not you. Based on "another reason my existence did more harm" I think you seriously need therapy and to deal with the trauma that told you this lie. Also your mother had a statute of limitations on this malpractice but it also may have been necessary. Consent is complicated here as well. The husband stitch does harm but an episiotomy stops harm. So without her records it's complex. If she finds it funny she gets to decide this because it's her body not yours.

I used to feel similarly. Therapy did help. I started to notice the pattern. It came from abuse for me. I believed the lies my abusers told to justify their abuse. The abuser excuse is rarely true. "I can't do anything right" was my childhood understanding of my attempt to manage other people's emotions and attend the adults so they were kept happy and I was safe. Once I wasn't in abuse I could heal and it turns out I am awesome and a net positive for the world. So I am asking you to ask yourself if that is actually true or if you're giving yourself more power and blame than is accurate.

My OCD also tries this. "If I don't say drive safely they'll crash and die horribly." I do say it because it's simpler as rituals go but I then remind my brain if it was that easy no car accidents would exist and I am not god so I can't decide such things. I can only make sure they know I care which is why I engage with this ritual at all. A friend of mine admitted it really does make her drive safer because she's thinking about it and she feels loved. There's alternatives to that ritual that harm myself or others.

If you really made the world a terrible place it would require great effort and you cannot do so by simply being born. If that was the case then free will wouldn't exist. I had ice cream before dinner. Proof it does.

Ooh that's a pretty roll of washi! Washi is decorative masking tape. People use it to cover the edges of the adhesive where no gems go. I just use cat hair for this. Joking but my cat lays on my canvases so also not.

Who decided the canon of most attractive? Mind you I love his route but... There's hotter guys. A certain doctor.

I am a bonafide slut. I spent my twenties as a dominatrix to pay for law school and I have never been shy about sex. I give my credentials so you understand what I am going to say comes from experience.

No, that's a lie society tells you to pressure people into specific behaviors. You miss only by staying and giving up a healthy relationship. I am by nature poly. My wife wasn't aware she was until after we married. We're not open because we didn't come to this relationship with that in mind and it's not worth risking her having felt pressured or anything else. She doesn't want to explore it and I know what I am. I know she is worth choosing.

Is your boyfriend worth choosing everyday? He certainly has been. Sex with someone else will be awkward because it's new, might be fun, but it's not the same as being in love.

My advice? The things you imagine doing? Do with your boyfriend if he consents. Exploring isn't for everyone and I have some regrets from my exploration because I wasn't always respectful of my boundaries or needs when I should have been.

Being a bonafide slut? If it was your nature you would know by now. Those of us who are free in the sexual way don't guess. We do. It's not wrong to do just as it's not wrong to be someone who seeks stability. Having had both? Stability is amazing and much more valuable than a few fucks with that one guy or gal. They're nice but love? Love is precious

Aww I am so sorry! Windex covers most of the ink removal and micellar water should get it off your skin. My cat broke an ink like this and so I'm talking from experience

I understand entirely because of my upbringing. Please remember you don't owe anyone access to you or your kids. I had to cut my family off for safety and I don't regret it but I know that's complicated and hard. Getting there was a long journey.

I was thinking about this today when explaining to someone why I am the way I am. Gentle and quiet vs angry and loud. Person said a cruel thing because of my wheelchair and I blanked them. The answer is my college friends who called me on my B's and gave me a chance. I suspect because my reaction was to listen and apologize while saying I would go find books to educate myself on. Not everyone will do the work. Their shock is good because you know it's absurd and wrong and she can't gaslight you but those specifics are probably practiced.

Bible study when I was a child was actually training to be a superb asshole. We practiced micro aggressive behaviors, including how to make your victim look like the aggressor, and how to make someone look crazy by being specific. It's a tactic. You get angry and she goes, "who would do such a thing? She's crazy!"

If it's legal? Maybe record the time spent and get proof. This way you can shut down the flying monkeys and that chain. People like this work very hard to be that awful.

Thank you for this. This may explain my thyroid mystery. I'm just below the diagnostic level for Graves and there is some weirdness.

Ahh that explains where we disagree. Also I do agree at the end Anders/Vengeance is a terrorist. His character assassination is that the Origins Anders wouldn't do that. It's not built to where I believe the change. I accept it as Anders got lost and Vengeance corrupted himself as a way to make it work but it's definitely not the best.

Villains for me are people who do bad things. They're not required to be aware of it. So I have a looser definition and that's where the conversation went a bit funny but I am so glad we had it

No worries! English is also a tangled language so it makes it harder to make a point