u/KindaSortaPeruvian

And i hope he gets banned too!

Reminds me of u/mateuszskutnik

Backing this completely, its absolutely insane at this point. I've left this subreddit like 4 times of the years because of the incessant soft core porn.

Not only wrong sub but its not even free lmfao. How badly did you misunderstand?

This is part of the journey as a partner to a porn addict unfortunately.

Is he showing a real wantingness to change? Not just for you, but for himself?

Is he being open with you about relapses?

Is he doing his best to avoid triggers and scenarios that could lead to relapse?

If so, he is doing everything he can to take on this addiction for you and for himself. The rest is for you to internalize and understand both his steps forward and backwards.

You risk perpetuating his shame cycle or having him start being dishonest if hes doing his best and hes still receiving negative feedback from you.

I understand thats easier said than done. At the end of the day, if you can't beat these feelings, then you have to come to terms with the reality that you cant support a porn addict partner, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Listen, this is not me trying to make excuses for him, but i see this sentiment a lot.

Your boyfriend has an addiction. A clear majority of people aren't able to quit cold turkey. With that in mind, most porn addicts are going to relapse, sometimes frequently. That's part of the journey, and getting upset with him, punishing him, or threatening him doesn't do what you want it to.

You want it to fix the problem, but in reality, it makes it much, much worse. What you're doing is making your boyfriend afraid to be honest with you. That leads to being afraid to admit relapses, the shame cycle deepening, and ultimately... the relationship failing.

If you don't want to deal with the arduous addiction cycle, i absolutely dont blame you. It is not easy in any capacity.

But if you want to continue this and try to help him, you have to understand that relapses will happen. And its important to talk through them in a way that is healthy. For me, that starts with asking what caused the relapse and how can we better avoid that going forward. The caveat to that is i WANT real change. Not every addict is at that step yet.

Edit: To be frank, this is a total assumption as well, but if I had to guess based on personal experiences with this exact scenario. Your boyfriend might be relapsing a lot more than he is telling you, and not bringing it up out of fear.

Have you ever stopped to think how you're being an asshole for no reason? Just like dwell on it, why are you this upset?

Am i a fucking idiot? What does this mean?

Straight-up goofy. What else besides looking like a bootlicker do you gain from saying this lmao

Hi, first and foremost, have a serious conversation with him and give him the ultimatum. If this continues, this relationship will not work. Be calm and adamant and make sure to let him know that you are in this journey with him.

Acknowledging you have a problem is the first step, but it's a giant leap to the second, which is wanting to stop. It took my GF saying that she needs change or she's leaving for me to really start my journey into quitting.

I am more than happy to help more if you need.

And yet 90% of the men I know will say this is an outlier. Fuck that, all 17 men were outliers? And in positions of power.

Oh no no lol, not a professional, just a prepper.

That's interesting, I've always thought heavy had potential but I didn't know if even modern had the tools to take advantage of it.

Yikes

Can we get a rule B as this user had posted this several times before and is almost clearly trolling.

edit: it appears OP might be struggling with something related to this and I’m sorry for misinterpreting!

Parenting would be a new experience.