u/LinguisticallyInept

this shit terrifies me, i ground and undersell myself so if someone has looked at it with the expectation that its 'fluffed' then it explains why i didnt get a lot of interviews

i used to love 77345663

but i was a weird hipster child so boobies didnt appeal to me

egocentrism is a trait where one struggles to see things from others perspectives

if this wouldnt bother you; thats fine and good for you

but you are very very very wrong to extrapolate how you might react to how everyone else would

you literally said he’s the prettiest dude too 😭😭😭 no one is safe from cheaters

pretty privilege is a thing, but in this scenario; not always

to be crass and break down into simplistic number ratings, say a self-determined-7 is dating a 7-determined-10; that can lead to insecurity on the 7s part... and sometimes that insecurity manifests in a need for external validation that makes them very likely to cheat if given the opportunity because its a way to 'prove' that they are as desirable as they perceive their partner to be

resident minimiser detected

There's so many tragedies happening everyday to people, cmon

fuck off, just because worse things are happening it doesnt make it fair to invalidate any negative impacts someone else may be feeling, if this is a closed relationship its a massive breach of trust and that shit fucks people up for life

you could definitely turn them into deckboxes (maybe even double deck boxes, but that might be wishful thinking) if you 3d print (or find someone who can) some inserts for them

didn't get to 70% of the internet if it wasn't freaking awesome in the first place.

number1 herpes fan?

im much better at handling it now, but i used to throw in self depreciating comments all the time (self protective in a way; both to hedge against bad outcomes 'never done this before; get the fire extinguisher ready' and head off the perception that im full of myself with self criticism 'couldve done better here, here and here')... and occasionally id run into someone who would take them very seriously so theyd try to 'pep talk' me up, which would both make me feel (even more) awkward and throw us off topic... the latter is ultimately my fault as i could just avoid the comments to begin with

i guess what im saying is that you dont console them, either they're seeking validation that you dont need to give or (bit of projection) theyre not and its awkward

so they can now push over yours

i didnt say can, i said will

you are calling it a “poked bear situation” so therefore you’re calling it valid for their response

im saying maulings are not to be unexpected when poking bears, not that im condoning the mauling bear

Once again, you are implying that they are equal and valid reactions.

im sorry when have i said that? yet again; my whole argument is and has been that the 'hurr durr shouldnt have sent her then' comment was not a valid reaction in the first place (much like how your ugly hat comment would not be a valid reaction to a stranger)

im actually done with you twisting and manipulating shit to your narrative

veryyyy funny how you only decide to respond to one part of my comment instead of them as a whole.

because if your opening line is a mischaracterisation im going to ignore the rest

What you did was make a defense that was rooted in the idea that the escalation was acceptable.

no, im explaining why it went there; the idea that 'its just a little joke at their expense' is an escalation that will almost certainly, in a public forum, result in further escalation

you presented the arguments as equal

and no, the point of that comment was that everyones thresholds are different and if you push at other peoples lines then theyre going to push back over yours

if I say someone’s hat is ugly, they cannot turn around and say I deserve to die for being gay. That’s not reasonable.

much like this, you know whats also not reasonable? telling a stranger that their hat is ugly

ofcourse saying you deserve death for being gay is also (even more) unreasonable; but its a poked bear situation that you initiated (starting the escalation) and crybullies are tiresome

So, when you make a defense that is rooted in the idea that escalation is acceptable and no one can say that it’s taking it too far

again, i didnt say that

stop putting words in my mouth; im not your strawman.

thats lovely

Again, living up to your user

ironic coming from you because

You are saying it’s the same, you are saying they carry equal weight and equal wrong

no i didnt, i specifically said they werent and used the word escalation

You are making fun of people dying and getting oppressed because someone made fun of a shitty break dancer.

and no im not, im explaining the mechanics of it and how you disregarding the initiator as 'a joke' (now 'stupid') is ignoring the pattern of escalation

if you're going to try and insult me, dont be a hypocrite about it; try reading my comments next time

. If you seriously cannot fucking fathom why making a joke about a man who is killing and oppressing millions in America is in no way comparable to a jab at a shitty breakdancer, I have words to say that would get me perma banned from this sub.

person a: we're never going to live this down

person b: nah, we had no power in this

person c: hurr durr well you could have not sent her

im not saying its the same as comparing to trump, im saying you're getting angry at a specific tonedeaf response because it targets you and minimising the first... you dont get to dictate where that line is for everyone else, you allow the first to slide then dont act surprised when the second happens; thats what escalation is

sensitivity is a spectrum, but you dont get to egocentrically dictate that where your line is; is where everyone elses line should be, the blaming the powerless comment i highlighted is evidently over the trump commenters line so if you want me to have respect for your line; dont be a hypocrite and respect others; at the very least itll prevent your feelings getting hurt when people rebound past your line

They can never even tell you why it’s “funny” either, bcs they know it’s not.

exercise then; tell me why

I mean

You let her represent you

That’s one thing

is funny?

(spoilers, its not; and was the original tonedeaf response; the rest was following suit, dont throw stones when you live in a glass house)

lack of shops and services

i spent my teenage years on a massive new build estate; there was nothing there and it just makes it feel sterile; like youve got no reason to be there so everyone is either in their house or somewhere actually good

which makes it really fucking eerie when you dont live there and are visiting someone because any blind peaker knows you aint there to pick up milk

they finally put a co op in my teenhood estate a while back and its still weird because it still feels like a 'locals only' place (and other than maybe a bit of a dog walking community; they arent community places to begin with); youre not wading into suburbia for a co-op when the nearby village has one and much more (with a friendlier atmosphere)

''civic responsibility''? whats that?

TiL, i should tag every game with straight characters as 'het'

like why does it matter? why are so many people so fucking arse-hurt sensitive to it?

The game forces you to read through a "code of conduct", like an EULA before you can play the game, where you must accept to express kindness and acceptance towards all kinds of people.

this is pretty standard in most online games

It has 20 different pride/gay/gender flags to choose from as your profile emblem.

what a fantastic way of letting the bigots filter themselves out

when i was dating i had a guy ask me if i wanted to know something

it was that his family had money

the first personal factoid he threw at me was financial... and not even about himself specifically

i apologised about how hard that must make trusting people and then left

yeh, id wager the types still exist (maybe no need to masquerade) but, based on general acceptance levels, mileage definitely may vary by geographical region

just to be clear; i wasnt saying it was acceptable, just that it is (to a degree) understandable

 They are using that as an excuse to not attempt healing.

this is not necessarily true, sometimes someones mind and body is stuck in that defensive trauma state, where they might logically know its not reasonable but because theyre essentially in a threat response mode; they cannot think rationally in the moment

healing is a process, its not something someone can just snap their fingers and fix... so what might externally appear as 'an excuse to not attempt healing' can be (and, in my experience, often is) just early on the path

As a gay guy the one i always warn about is homophobia

theres generally 3 types of homophobes (and 2 are red flags)

• closeted homophobes, the ones with repressed homosexual tendencies that are trying to convince themselves that 'im not gay, i hate the gays, theyre disgusting so im not gay right?'... and wives end up as an accessory to them whilst they cheat on her at a seedy sauna; sucking away her life to provide 'heterosexual proof' to society

• masquerading misogynists, this tends to have a specific presentation where they believe 'effeminate men' (sometimes specifically bottoms) are lesser.... and at the core of that is the idea that 'masculinity' is worth more than 'femininity'... so women beware because they will not respect you

• historical trauma, these are the ones that deserve empathy... a lot of the time people can have abusive encounters and either extrapolate that experience to all gay guys (ex; getting groped by a colleague; maybe the only gay guy they know) or have experienced childhood SA and conflated gays with pedos... the problem is; youre not going to be able to feel out for these ones without treading on really difficult subjects

classic shopping cart alignment chart

idk... my partner is a really sore loser and outside of that hes thoughtful and caring

because he was raised doing competitive swimming he ties so much of his personal value into whether he wins; that losing dredges up a ton of self hate baggage that gets externally expressed

i love him but god damn sometimes i just dont want to play games with him because he gets so grumpy when i beat him

you’ll find that nobody likes a brutally honest middle-aged woman who is done catering to others.

I always loved this about my great aunts; they just did not give a fuck about what people thought and its something i try and emulate in how i navigate through life