u/LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN

I used to say that until it happened to me. I was 99% out the door until I started to weigh what we had in 10+ years of friendship followed by 25+ years of marriage and I realized that not everything in life is binary. It took a long time, a lot of deep soul searching and conversations, and a LOT of therapy but we've been able to rebuild. BUT it takes a lot of work and both people have to be 100% in. THAT said, OP, your husband is NOT 100% in. He's literally laughing over what he did to you, thinking what you don't know won't hurt him. THAT is BS.

My husband is a jokester too but I guarantee you he doesn't tell cock jokes to strange women in a professional setting. Eew

Super disrespectful to the nurses.

To be clear, I'm not recommending Toffee over Nude Beach for you; just BB's line in general. Toffee is warmish and it sounds like your choices are cool colors. Good luck!

I have a couple of LM sticks in other light colors and I've been really disappointed in how it wears, especially at that price point. It's ok if I prime first but that defeats your purpose (and mine). I have the Bobbi Brown stick in Toffee and it wears beautifully for 10+ hours.

It's definitely a weird thing that a lot of men get hung up on. I think given a choice my husband would have preferred I change my name but I wasn't interested and he never brought it up. I am very careful to introduce him fully so that no one ever calls him Mr My Last Name. BUT he's never raised that as a concern either

You need to include your hospitality, operations, and management experience. Those skills translate well outside of the restaurant business. You might consider looking at the larger hotels in the northland. Managing entry level hourly staff is an important skill in many back of the house supe roles. You might start out on evenings/weekends but turnover is high and you likely wouldn't be working over 45 hours/week. Benefits are usually pretty decent too

Edit: you also might consider the corporate restaurant business

Amen. $50 says that twit doesn't even HAVE ADHD but she can sure afford to cover the very accurate financial and soul-sucking costs associated with it. How many housekeepers and assistants do you think she has?

When I used to have to drive I35 north past the (left lane) exit to 635 there would be a massive backup in the left lane starting 4-5 miles before the exit. It's bananas

Kansas is bad but Oklahoma is sooooo much worse.

In my family it's learned/weaponized helplessness. Why should I expect my graduate degreed college professor mother to read an instruction manual or search up something on Google when she can just trick her conflict-averse son in law into driving across town and fixing it for her? What you say? He might have other responsibilities or plans with his wife, her daughter? No matter. She's fully entitled to use as much of his free time as she likes. "Because not everybody has a [Husband's Name]". And that's only 1 of 5 million reasons we haven't spoken in 4 years.

I'm sorry you find yourself in this quandary but you cannot let her into your home. Your decision is right even if you lived alone but you certainly cannot subject your partner to the bs of taking her in.

What relationship (if any) does your sister have with her? Can she help validate & support you in this decision?

Hopefully your dad isn't 72 because if he is, we might be sisters but good news! You wouldn't be the oldest anymore. j/k (mostly).

My dad could never be bothered to hold down a job for more than 6 months but when he wasn't working he absolutely couldn't be bothered to pick me up from school.

When I got a little older and rode the bus I remember coming home to find the doors locked but his car was in the garage. I went around to the basement slider and saw him asleep in his recliner. 8yo me thought nbd, I'll just go next door and hang out with the neighbor kids until he's done napping.

I can remember two of the moms on the culdesac acting kinda weird and overly sweet sorta. Looking back, it was PITY. Those women I barely knew had pity for me because I had a shitty waste of space for a father who was dead drunk at 3 in the afternoon. I feel really sorry for my mom. She was always a "what will the neighbors think" kind of person and I'm sure she was completely humiliated. This was pretty close to the final straw because they split up not long after.

That's a long way of saying that there are a lot of us here who are estranged from parents who "weren't that bad". Follow your instincts. You're going to be a great mom.

One summer my neighbor's kids got to pick the music for their backyard speakers and that was number 1 on the hit parade all.summer.long. I didn't think all of us would survive. Thank gid they outgrew it

We are truly blessed with the number of wise, insightful, and empathetic people in this sub. I'm sure many of us have nothing in common with one another other than we're on similar journeys, and that's enough.

Every day. My mother has severe RBF and as I age, I'm getting it too. I feel like walking around smiling like a loon just to avoid it but that's not sustainable. I'm very much considering plastic surgery. If it wasn't so expensive I would have done it already

Never. Absolutely not. I've seen several of varying preparation over the years and they've always been annoyingly neutral about telling me what I should do

I didn't look at this thread no way sure didn't

I wasn't taken to therapy as a kid despite all the BS my father put me through, despite having such vicious bullying starting in 5th grade that I was a suicidal 10yo, despite how effed up my mother's own family was because we don't "do" therapy. I didn't start therapy until my 40s when all of my unresolved childhood chickens were coming home to roost and all of my relationships including my marriage were falling apart. I can totally see where therapy is to blame here. Thank goodness we didn't "do" it.

Being in formal debate competition teaches that though. One example is only one, two is a validator, and three is proof positive. I could do these on almost any topic in my sleep.

Same. I loved an em dash before they were cool.

I have been accused of using AI multiple times simply because I use proper spelling and good grammar. That that would be a primary indicator of something written by artificial intelligence is a massive indictment of our public school system.

Edit: because I also proofread

They're in a cult. Anyone who is still supporting the current mess is in a cult.

I went to the OP store in the rain early Fri afternoon before the after-school soccer mom rush with fingers crossed. The only thing different than the usual standing room only situation was getting to load my groceries in the rain