u/Numinous-Nebulae

Sounds fine to me. Pretty standard parenting technique and a great way to motivate her to eat, which medically she needs to. And give her lots of yummy fatty desserts like milkshakes!

So what did you do when he screamed bloody murder so hysterical he could vomit and barely breathe every single time you set him down in the bassinet?

What she should have done is say "Nephew, please don't splash Cousin. He didn't like that." And pick up the 3 year old and walk away, or sit down with them and supervise closely. If the splashing is a repeated issue, she could address it with you and your husband.

I would not let my kids be around her again until she apologizes to 6 year old for pushing him in.

Info: How old is your son and how old is the cousin he splashed? I am imagining your son is very young like under age 5 if he is still wearing floaties?

Regardless I don't think it's ok that she pushed him in, but it changes how NOT ok it was for me.

If I were uncomfortable with how my in-laws treated my kids I would have a direct conversation with them, probably right afterward but circling back later is fine too.

This is not at all normal.

You'd be better off separated and getting court-mandated child support (garnished from his paycheck if he fails to pay it). Alimony too, if you are married and get a divorce.

A hard part of parenting is when our children distance themselves from or even reject things that are important to use: values, philosophies, lifestyles, cultures, communities, religions, etc. Especially when we think those things could help or support them! It's normal to feel grief and inner conflict over this. And it's also essential to release hope that our children will be anything but themselves, and live any life except their own (as it sounds like you are).

I really think individual therapy could help you process your conflicted experience and emotions around this. Do you have a therapist, have you discussed it with them?

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

First things first: Do you have some help or support right now, or are you alone all day? Even hanging out with another mom friend (someone with older kiddos who has baby experience but not her own baby right now?), a family member, have your spouse take some unpaid half days, etc.

Second, take them to your pediatrician just to make sure there is no ear infection, strange thing like intussusception (don't even google it to freak yourself out), etc. They can also check weight gain - sometimes unfortunately it's not till this age that you figure out there is a latch/tongue tie/transfer problem, which might have affected your milk supply and you may need to supplement with formula while addressing it (he may be hungry).

Third, it could just be cause he's a newborn and episodes of purple crying are normal - but it does sound beyond normal.

You can try the Windii for gas. But at that age they should be mostly eating and sleeping so it is possible that there is something going on.

Is he crying when held, or just when you set him down? It *is* totally normal for a baby that age to want to be in physical contact with mom 24/7, and to cry if you try to set him down. I would get a baby carrier and learn how to safely co-sleep, and do contact naps.

Kuwait International Airport is shut down. Iranian drone strikes killed six Americans in Kuwait Sunday. The US shut down their embassy and is encouraging all Americans to leave Kuwait. https://kuwaittimes.com/article/40652/kuwait/other-news/travelers-begin-leaving-kuwait/#:\~:text=In%20the%20meantime%2C%20prices%20for,just%20to%20go%20to%20Dammam.

I'd be fine with that. Add masks into the mix if you want. Are they visiting in the first 4 weeks?

I don't know...I am anti-sleep training but two of my best friends sleep trained and their toddlers are super happy, smiley, easygoing, cheerful, unflappable, chill. I coslept and my toddler is sensitive, nervous, easy startled, cries easily, very sensitive, very intense, very clingy.

I think it's just their personalities honestly.

I highly recommend this book as I think many "velcro" and "high-needs" babies fall into this category (15-20% of people). It covers the infant stage up through the teenage years. https://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Overwhelms/dp/0767908724

The self-eval quiz is on her website but it would be hard to take with a 7 month old I think...at 2.5 years old I can answer most of the questions now but not all. https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-child-test/

When myself and my husband fully understood and accepted that our daughter is different than "chill" "easygoing" babies and toddlers that helped!

Are you in local ones? I'm only in "real name" mom groups with other local moms (Facebook town/neighborhood parent groups, a large local mom's what's app group). The fact that we all use our real names and most of us know many others in person means that everyone acts like real decent humans.

Bummer, my OB checks for this at pre-conception appointments for this specific reason (so you can get a booster before conceiving). I would make sure your spouse is checked/gets their booster. You probably are at low risk unless you spend a lot of time around little kids.

Shoes off would be a non-negotiable for me ESPECIALLY given his job and the wide range of environments he must go in (ick). If he wears a uniform at work and is only wearing those clothes on personal time, I wouldn't worry about that too much.

Ah, the use of "night naps" to describe overnight sleep brings me back to those crazy newborn days.

I think the best path is something in the middle. If your husband is willing to get up and try to resettle the baby without feeding (pickup and rock, offer pacifier, etc.), that's great. But I would try those other methods for 5-10 minutes and if they don't work, then nurse - not 45.

It's probably not too early to test if you know they are di di twins? You can draw blood for a NIPT at 9 weeks and first ultrasound is usually 8-10 weeks....?

Can you let him wash himself? My 2 year old splashes and plays in the bath in soapy water and then stands up and we suds up her hands and she washes her booty and exterior of her vulva by herself. I don't wash any part of her body for her except I do wash her hair, a few times a week.

Our preschool has a wood stove going in a yurt all day in one classroom - and it’s very competitive, all the parents want to get into that specific classroom because it’s the outdoor/forest program. I wouldn’t be worried about smoke personally. More burn risk. 

Do you really want to know what they are referring to here? I’m happy to explain what they mean but everyone is answering with snarky digs so I feel like I’ll get downvoted if I actually “translate.”

It’s not closed-minded to dislike a name. OP asked us what we think. The top two most upvoted comments agree that it is better as a nickname than a legal full name. You can think differently. Clearly, you are in the minority at least among this group of responders.

“That’s ok. I love you though!”

The only issue I have heard of is that YOU are at much higher risk of pelvic organ prolapse for the rest of your life. Get a referral to a pelvic floor PT now for baseline evaluation and rehab, in hopes that you can prevent a really really bad situation in your 60s! (Over 50% of women who have had vaginal births have prolapse so it’s definitely not just limited to vacuum births, they just are even more likely to cause it). 

Yup. I’d move to the woods and live a screen-free homeschool existence before I’d let my minor child do any body modifications. 

As a minimalist woman who lives a low product lifestyle for PFAS/chemical reasons this is kind of nauseating. 

Get a referral to a pelvic floor PT! Anal incontinence can absolutely be helped with pelvic floor PT.