u/Orchidkeeper

Thank you for sharing that. I’ve heard that men may hold back around kids for fear of being seen as a threat. That's its own kind of shift - and kind of a sad one since kids benefit from a community of friendly adults around them. I'm glad people are more open with you now.

That's wonderful to hear and I hope that's the norm for most parents! My kids are young too, so age wasn't the difference here.
I shared it as one moment, not proof. But it's not just my perception - U.S. birth rates hit a record low last year while pet ownership is near historic highs and pet spending reached a record $158 billion. Noticing a moment that lines up with the data really isn't confirmation bias.
Your toddlers sound adorable and I love that people stop to tell you so.

It’s not a constructed reality to notice a moment that matches the data. U.S. birth rates hit a record low last year, while pet ownership is near historic highs and pet spending hit a record $158 billion. That moment stood out because it fit a much bigger pattern.
On the 90s point: kids playing outside until dark wasn't a lack of value. It reflected a culture where kids were everywhere and communities were built around them. That's part of what's shifting.
Glad to hear you see people light up over kids. I'd love for that to be everyone's experience.

I use Downy Rinse Laundry Odor Remover, specifically the Odor Out version, in the fabric softener dispenser. It really helps rinse away any lingering odors. Then I add one or two drops of Hustle & Blush essential oil in the Cottontail scent to my wool dryer balls every few days. For detergent, I order German Persil Universal from Amazon. The entire box is in German and costs around $52 but it lasts forever. My clothing always comes out sparkling clean and fresh!

I’m often told I smell fresh and I think it comes down to consistency. Every night, I shower and thoroughly cleanse my entire body from top to bottom with Japanese persimmon soap, which helps remove natural oils and odors. I wash and condition my hair with Kérastase, apply a lightly scented lotion, and use Lume deodorant before bed, so I wake up smelling fresh.
Laundry also makes a big difference. I use German Persil powder, OxiClean, Downy Unstopables in Cotton Fresh, and finish with a citric-acid rinse to remove any lingering odors. I dry everything on low with wool dryer balls and a drop or two of a clean cotton/fresh-scented essential oil.
For a little extra, I’ll spritz on one of my lighter Chanel fragrances in the morning, and it usually lasts all day.

Getting someone into an ACT program or court-ordered treatment usually starts through repeated hospitalizations, crisis evals, and police involvement. Families often have to keep documenting unsafe behavior, severe psychosis, inability to care for self, or repeated decompensation, because the system generally requires evidence the person cannot safely function due to mental illness before higher levels of intervention. If he is certed again, speak with his treatment team at the hospital and provide as much collateral as you can to demonstrate his safety risks and that you would like him to have court ordered treatment. I say this as a former ACT clinician who certed many people. How we treat people with psychosis is so inhumane - families are often left carrying the burden to get their loved ones the care they are incapable of getting themselves.

I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. If he gets certed again, you can advocate to the hospital doctors for him to be placed on a mental health court order for medication and treatment. This would be if he is a serious risk to himself or others. Most ACT teams at your community mental health center could also help you with that process and/ or getting him more services. Hoping he is found safely soon.