u/Outrageous_Kick6822

You can go to Al Anon and take care of yourself. You deserve peace and serenity and you can learn how to build boundaries around the toxic people in your life. Sorry you're going through this, but Al Anon will definitely help you find peace. 💙💙

If it's one person it should be addressed to that person first and if the correction is not received it can be brought up in a group conscience. I'm sorry your going through this, unfortunately most AAs come in with a lot of baggage and character defects and we don't get struck healed immediately. Sometimes people with many years of sobriety can still be clinging to shitty old behavior. It is true that the central office will not interfere with an individual group, if you look at the traditions you see the central office is a service structure not a disciplinary committee. If there are members in that group who exhibit advanced recovery you might try bringing your concerns up to them. Often in these type of situations the elder statesmen of the group can help explain what is and isn't acceptable behavior. I'm an ideal world this wouldn't be an issue in meetings or anywhere but we live in the real world and when we get sober real world problems still exist.

Had a sponsee relapse over some of the childhood trauma he dug up working on the fourth step. He didn't stay out thankfully, but it can be dangerous. If she needs trauma therapy she should go.

If you're afraid of getting a sponsor, try asking for a temporary sponsor. No risk that way and nothing to fear. And if the temporary sponsor works out it can become permanent, if not they can help you find the right one for you. Know that most people have really bad social anxiety when they get to AA, we don't come in on a high. Many of us ended up hiding away drinking alone at the end. We have been there and we get it. If it's really too much right now you can do some virtual meetings for a while and if you really can't socialize at all any particular day just show up a minute late and leave a minute early. You got this!!

Hey honey, the good news is you are at the point in the cycle when you have a chance to break out of it once and for all. Feel the shame and guilt, don't stuff it. Then use that power to do the one thing that can end the cycle forever and ask for help. Addiction may not have a cure but there is treatment and you do not ever have to feel this particular remorse ever again. I went to AA when I was ready to give up and it has worked from me, I would try there first but there are other paths as well. You can start a new life today without alcohol. The 🐦‍🔥 Phoenix has to burn before it can be reborn, are you ready to be reborn? I love and support you and I know you can do this. You just need to let go and accept help. If you trust your husband you can get honest with him and let him support your journey.

Have not had a gastroscopy but the colonoscopy is nothing to fear. You'll be numb down there during the procedure or asleep if you get a general. People complain about them because getting ready for it requires laxatives and cleaning out everything in there and that's not fun, but it's really not a big deal. Take a deep breath, you're gonna be fine.

I'm so sorry, losing a pet is always horrible but losing a pet like that so suddenly and tragically is just so much harder. I hope Rusty recovers but it doesn't sound like there's much hope. I wish so much I could wave a magic wand and make it all feel better but I know it's just gonna hurt for a while. Every time I lose one of my pets I remind myself that's the deal we make when we get a pet. They don't live as long and we will experience the pain of their loss. But every time I keep making that bargain again because the joy they bring while they're alive is so worth the pain of their loss. I try to focus on all the joy we had together. Grief is a process so please give yourself the grace to grieve at your own pace. You deserve that. And when it feels like it will go on forever remember this too shall pass. Sending all the love and hugs 💙💙

The real question is when you will hit rock bottom with him because he might never

Sounds like you may live somewhere where there aren't a lot of meetings nearby. Sometimes in that situation the best option is to try virtual meetings. There are many online meetings for people in that situation and many of them cater specifically to young people closer to your age. If you download the meeting guide app you can search online meetings and filter for young people meetings. All that said, AA is not about judging you, we all start from the beginning and there are as many paths to recovery as there members. You will always be welcomed with open arms and if anyone asks where you've been is because they care not because they want to judge you. If you do go back in person try to get more numbers, maybe of people who live in your area and can give you rides. You got this 😉💙💙

It gets better and it gets easier. Read the tenth step promises in the big book, it takes time but it happens. "We have reached a position of neutrality, we are neither cocky nor afraid." The more grateful I get for the new life i have been gifted the less I look at alcohol and drinking as something to resent or envy.

You don't say much about what's broken in the marriage, what's causing the disconnect. If you don't feel like you can communicate with her about the issues though, that is a bad sign. That suggests some trust issues which are very difficult. Have you tried marriage counseling? Sometimes that is a good way to get into difficult conversations and feel a little safer. My marriage was like you describe far a long time but my ex was an alcoholic/narcissist and I knew the marriage was over but made the mistake of staying as married Co parents. I made the decision to separate and divorce when I accepted I would never be able to trust her again after all the betrayals.

You did not cause it, cannot cure it, and cannot control it. You and your children are worth it if you need to establish firm boundaries regarding her time around the kids. Maybe losing access to her grandchildren could be the kind of pain that motivates her to seek help. I'm sorry you're experiencing this, Al Anon can help you find peace regardless of whether the alcoholic keeps drinking or not.

My ex refused meditation forced us into court and my lawyer got the judge to order a vocational consultation and they adjusted the spousal support for imputed income. Might be able to build that into amount. Seems crazy the wisdom on addiction says enabling the addict will keep them from ever getting sober then the state comes along and orders me to enable her drinking for ten years 🤣🤣🤣 Divorce is hard because it's worth it. You and your daughter are worth it. 💙💙

Keep coming back. I knew you would get here. You've for some work ahead of you but I know you can do it. I passed the 40 years milestone this year, one day at a time. Today is the first day of the rest of your life and it's going to be a beautiful one. I am always here to support you 💙💙

Before and after the meeting, with your sponsor, and in other fellowship activities.

I went to AA at 16 to get sober, there's absolutely no reason why you had to wait this long. You have a whole wonderful life ahead of you if you get sober now.

I am grateful for my dog every day, he brings me so much joy. Some people just aren't dog people I guess.

If I were in your shoes, once I got the kids somewhere safe my next step would be to report the assault to the police, along with every other time you can remember. They won't do anything but you will need that record. Then I would contact a divorce attorney. Your local women's center should be able to help. I am praying for your safety. With his record a good divorce lawyer should have no problem getting you full custody along with child support and spousal support, call his bluff.

I'm scared for your safety. Look up the phrase coercion is not consent and see if what you read triggers anything for you. Do you have a safe place to go with your child? You are not overreacting.

Unless she's a doctor she should not have an opinion or your prescribed medications. That is enough to get another sponsor right there. But the naming thing, wtf is she even taking about, "we use the names out momma gave us?" It's anonymous, we use whatever name you want. She sounds completely looney tunes. What meds did she go off, antipsychotics? If you continue to run into trans hate in your local meetings try zoom. AA tradition says you are welcome but I'd be lying if I said all meetings (or sponsors) follow traditions. There's tons of LGBT friendly meetings online.

Only physical damage--without repair receipts that's gonna be a no.

My ex hid her disease very well for many more years than that. Passing out on the couch while watching tv after the kids went to bed was a nightly occurrence but the other signs were all no different than plain narcissism. If he is an alcoholic he is either actively recovering or actively heading towards his next drink, there is no in between. "The idea that somehow someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing." Alcoholics Anonymous ch 3 p 30. If I were where you are I would get to a bunch of Al Anon meetings as soon as possible. Then to help understanding his disease and the difficult path forward I would read the doctors opinion and first 6 chapters of the AA big book.

Just for awareness look up wernicke-korsakoff syndrome (wet brain) as that may be what your dad is experiencing. Not that it fixes anything, I'm sorry you're going through this. My father in law died early this year from it. At least you know even if you were to break no contact there is nothing you could do to help him. Maybe a lawyer could help you relieve yourself of any legal responsibility?

If you can't afford therapy you can try a 12 step program like SLAA or SAA. Can be a very hard addiction to overcome but you are not alone and you don't have to do it by yourself.

I absolutely love this for you. I hit a booth this summer at the farmers market of a girl in college baking on the side and her sourdough was so good I've been craving it since she went back to school and it brought my joy to buy from someone who put so much love and passion into it. It brings me joy to think of you just as passionate about what you do. I know you will have some very difficult challenges ahead but I have total faith that your passion will help you persevere and overcome every obstacle. When the going gets tough remember I believe in you and support you and I'm so proud of you.