u/PsystrikeSmash

My birthday is this month, my wedding is in november (of next year), then there's christmas, and my fiance's birthday is new year's day. Wish we were more spaced out than that but alas

The "told you so" attitude that every one of you seems to have is only exaggerating the already devastating divide in this country. You're mad at people for being on the side opposite to yours, but the moment they start to flip you want to tell them they aren't good enough and push them right back to the other side of the line? All of you people are just as big of a threat to this country as the racists, fascists, and oligarchs that you denounce. You're all just as intolerant as those you hate for their intolerance. You are all a disgrace. I grew up in a great nation. One that is no longer recognizable. I hope that someday, we the people can stand united again. I hope that we can join hands and free ourselves from those that have bought our government. It is not right versus left, it is right versus wrong. And when people like this poor woman realize they were on the wrong side, we cannot alienate them. We must not alienate them. We should all embrace them, because people like her are how we will bring America back from the brink. As things are, the United States is a contradiction to its own constitution. Ruins that no longer resemble its former glory. Each of you an instrument in its demise.

A1Y4

A10 normally, M5 at my wife's boyfriend's house, F14 in this particular scenario

Red and green. Effortless weight loss and the ability to guaranteed convince every walmart store manager that they should empty the safe and give me the money. When I inevitably get charged with a crime for it, I can successfully argue that what I did was not a crime. I can go stand before governments and argue that the law should be whatever I want. I would rule the world and I'd look damn good doing it.

Give me the 2 billion instantly and I'm set for life. Even if I pay 75% of it to the government in taxes, just having 500 million dollars earning interest in some way at like 1% APY, I'm making $5,000,000 annually. Pay income tax on that, and I still have more money than I could conceivably spend

r/thatsabooklight

11⁵⁰³

Too much of a bitch for the Marines, I take it?

Surely it's fucking satire

Slides 2 or 3. The tops both look good and the jeans look great. I would not mix the top from 3 with the bottoms from 1.

u/fmsqueeze

I figure enough tears were shed after you saw how the boob job turned out

Anon plays stardew valley

Leak in your suit

You look like you killed Yvette

Why are you a fucking chump?

Hasan Piker is as close as we can get at this moment

Found the southerner

I wouldn't go as far as to say "fat as shit" but I'm definitely not in the best shape. That said, it could certainly be worse. I could be so fucking miserable that I have to hop on reddit and put others down. I could be such an insufferable piece of shit that the only way I can get anybody to interact with me is by anonymously saying awful shit to people. Go to fucking therapy and unpack all that shit. Try not to kick a fucking puppy on your way there, bitch.

Your opponent picks bowser and you laugh. You'll just pick sheik. Bowser's hardest matchup. Easiest win of your life, you think. You mash away at the buttons and quickly evaporate his first 3 stocks. Then suddenly, time seems to slow, as you hear a voice in the room say "and now, he will try." You panic. You've seen the video. You know the context of those words. You know how this story ends. You fight your hardest, but because of this sudden onset anxiety, you've lost the composure to play well. Mistake after mistake, you are picked apart by this Bowser. He's charging forward smash at full screen, and you can't help but run right into it as you attempt to stop such a powerful attack. As you fall off the angel platform, it seems you lost your invincibility way too fast. "Is he cheating? Is this a modded console? No. The gamecubes were here long before he was. What could it be?" You think to yourself. You return your focus to the screen, you're on your last stock somehow, and even worse, you've taken 130 damage. You're just glad you aren't dead yet. With as artful a combo as anyone might be able to manage with their day 1 sheik, you carry him to the top of the screen, all you have to do is connect one final up air. But your jump falls short, he's taken too much damage for your finisher to connect. You see in the magnifying glass, Bowser faces the camera, assumes a sitting position, and rockets downward. You close your eyes so you don't have to watch your greatest failure unfold before your eyes. Staring down at the ground, head in your hands, you try to think about what went wrong, what could you have possibly done better? You look over to see the 8 year old celebrating his victory and it occurs to you. You were killed by your own fear. You heard a joke from the crowd of prior competitors behind you and you mistook it for divine narration. Braxton, the child that absolutely Brutalized you on the sticks, didn't do anything different, you were just too nervous to keep it together. You hang your head in shame, and Braxton declares that he will use his newfound wealth to buy vbucks for himself and all of his friends. You have lost. You've lost your dignity. You have lost the money. You lost everything. You were gonna pay off your mom's student loans with that. You were gonna send your kids to college with that. The things you would have done. You continue to brood for a moment before you hatch a scheme. You stand up from your chair and approach the boy. You look down at him and say "Emergency Best of Five"

I never got a relief check, I moved out and my parents had claimed me as a dependent the previous year so I didn’t get a check, and I was over 17 so they didn’t even get the extra $500 for me either so long story short the Federal Government can suck my fuckin’ vienna sausage cock

I mean, if a woman put her legs around my head like that I’d pull out my balls too

God I wish that were me