u/RedFox4thIntl

We can work with these minor language differences. You are fortunate that many terms are expressed in French throughout the Leftist ideologies. I apologize for the paternalistic attitude you picked up. It was intended that way, mea culpe! Call me on it again if I make you uncomfortable by hanging around the ivory tower stairs.

Tankies, as we were discussing before, were indeed from the Hungarian Revolution. Taking place in Prague Square, was a major roll-in to Prague Square by enough tanks to put down the student and other university personnel, workers like tradesfolk. Of course, the professors were involved, as were city workers and other fellow travelers. This occurred in 1956 as a result of people demonstrating in the Square as a response to the Authoritarianism response. Your enthusiasm about learning new/different slang, terminology, concepts as we knew them in the radical, USSR oriented, Soviet era. The demonstrations were wide-ranging on college campuses with both students, staff, faculty, and professors. I was in college near the end of the 1960- 1970s time of many anti-war workshops, unionization campaigns, and Feminism's radical program (nothing like today's passive “work with-in the system.”) Lukewarm plans with the watered down racial tolerance has resulted in all but the milquetoast traditional US political system have all but hijacked Leftist Racial Politics.

The current situation is like comparing US Progressive Congress (the “left” of the Democratic Party) who try reforms using a typical Liberal stance. We have only a couple of “true” Leftists in the US Congress. Senator Bernie Sanders, I-VT, is a Social Democrat who has been around a while, but has a work from within philosophy. The other is also Democratic Socialist, in NY State. We have several Leftists in the county or municipalities who cannot make any true change as they do not support revolutionary or even psychological pseudo-revolution.

Like the Franklin School Socialists, who aren't against trying to effect radical change except through a Psychological Approach. They have only had major success in Academics at purely Intellectualist environments such as Ivy League Universities. Personally, I enjoy reading Reich, Marcuse, and some lighter weight works. The World Socialist Web Site (WSWS), which is available on Facebook. One of their main pieces relates the Franklin School to Trotskyist as WSWS believes they are the ONLY political theory to having (rescued) advanced the contrast/comparison between Trotskyism and The Franklin School.

Did a bit of research to make certain what I write about Tankies, and their history was factual in written or documented explanation, and current Socialist exploration. This is why my response was a bit delayed. Those and the US Basketball March Madness, which is the country's champion's for hoops, a big deal, especially in the US Mid-west.

Here are a couple of good references about the Tankie derogatory name.

https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2016/08/whatareTrotsandTankies

https://www.dictionary.com/e/politics/tankies

wsws.org/en/special/library/frankfurt-school-post-modernism-politics-pseudo-left.html

wsws.org/en/special/library/frankfurt-school-postmodernism-politics-pseudoleft

In Solidarity,

RedFox

So, are you suggesting that to validate our mental processes, we must consume information, pass it on to offspring, to be beneficial to others? Some of us just interpret data for ourselves and close family, friends. Offspring is not the terminus of a quest for logic and understanding data. There are many who are unable (physically or emotionally) to pass our conclusions on to children. Some have too much mental/psychological trauma to either relate that to other humans or relate irl to others.

If you and your Dom/me understand what the ground rules are and know the people coming to the party are, it sounds like it could be enjoyable. If you're gagged, make sure you have a way to signal a safeword and that your Dom/me or responsible person can see you at all times for your safety. People at a party can get out of hand, especially if alcohol/other drugs are involved.

The time I can remember seeing this type of scene, the submissive was totally encased in latex and bound with a bungee like cord. They could not access any of their senses, their Dom was nearby for the entire time. It was at a formal Leatherman dinner. All people were known to one another, and trusted in SM play. Even after that, the Dom was very attentive. No one was permitted to touch or know the identity of the person.

Understand your sentiment, a thirst for more knowledge is commendable. Your command of English is a bit lacking, though. Grab some texts at a library, and find an older, experienced Far-Left Socialist to study them with you. Do you even understand what a tankie is? Would be happy to share my knowledge of what “tankie” is with you. It's not just an idle insult to throw at any or any older Leftist.

It's that we have numerous (probably majority) pro-Stalin young “Socialists” who have heard on Social Media, inaccurate periodicals, popular podcasts, and from their peers that “Stalin was some sort of Communist genius” without studying the Marxist texts. Have even heard some disregard Lenin in their support of Stalin as “the only true or successful Communist.” Dismissing Lenin proves that these individuals have no understanding of the development of Socialism, or even why Lenin's Mausoleum has been in Red Square since his death for over one hundred years.

This foul opinion lacks any knowledge of history or read of Marxist, Leninist, or Trotskyist texts. They are probably unable to compare and contrast the tenets of each of the founders' political ideologies or divergent views. Making one unable to discuss the political theories of Marx, Lenin, Trotsky, or even Stalin, and the history of each, and produce an intelligent or logical judgement or opinion. Couple those with little history of the philosophical underpinning or revolutionary action, makes their political assessment nothing but peer pressure. All of a sudden, Stalin is “the cool dude” and Trotsky is “the obstructionist with odd views” and “Lenin was of no consequence for Socialism” understanding of the Comintern or how Stalin got and abused his power.

Best of luck to you, but it sounds as if you've chosen the course.

When I was 11, my parents had me admitted to a state psychiatric hospital's child and adolescent unit that performed a 3-day battery of psychological tests. Those tests measured my intelligence as much higher than normal. I give this personal historical information just to explain how I as a 64-year-old have related to others.

Having been unable to relate to other children, I found adults with an open mind and higher intelligence to be my intellectual peers. The hospital used solitary confinement as their most severe punishment, with a thin, hard mattress and a scratchy gray wool army-style blanket on the floor. They would put anyone found to having had sex in this confinement. It was generally for a week at a time without books or any other material to occupy the mind. I went inside my mind to find any communication, so I used my thoughts. This “seclusion” taught me to only trust my own mind, and to not open up to anyone. So, I learned to trust no one.

I can understand the premise of the desire to reach out to others. It would have been nice, but I took a different route. People were used for only the need to reach out for actions or other reasons where they were necessary. Over the past 53 years, I have only discussed the most intimate and important ideas in my mind, “locked behind walls and steel.” I understand that many people enjoy interacting with others, but I've found it much too dangerous to pursue.

Out of 690 responses, doubt anyone will have the opportunity to read my response. I write this mainly to clarify my belief system.

As a Jew by choice for about 35–40 years. I went through a formal conversion with a rabbi, classes, mikvah, holding the Torah scrolls in front of an open ark.

My rabbi was aware of my identification with the female side of the great spirit, the Shekaniah. I say devotions, or prayers if you prefer, to both Adonai and Shekaniah. Most Jews, acknowledge both the male and female aspects of Hashem. The most obvious spirit of the Shekaniah is seen in the Havdalah (the prayers said over a special candle that is lighted at the end of Shabbat in some Jewish families, it is a triple-braided candle with special prayers).

I do not believe in Heaven or Hell. I believe in being in the presence of the dual spirit through mitzvah (following the good), prayer, and giving charity to the poor or needy (Tzadakah).

Follow the 10 Commandments, try to keep the other 613 mitzvot, and keep Kosher as best as one can. In some areas, finding kosher meat and dairy is difficult, so I keep as close to Vegan, eating no animal flesh and drinking only Almond or Oat Milk when I need to use a dairy substitute. I look forward to finding quality non-dairy cheeses and a larger variety of Tofutti (non-dairy) frozen dairy-like dessert.

At age 11, I was sent to a children's psych. hospital because of my recalcitrant behavior and my precocious sexual development and activity. The psychologists and psychiatrist tested me for three days. They logged an IQ of 145, which was to be my bane for my whole childhood until age 15, when I quit my high school and left home. I took the GED and began college right away. It was easy trying to accomplish these milestones, as no one expected a bright young woman to work the system as I did. If life gets miserable for you, it is possible to plan, then escape to wherever you can arrange and figure out how to live. I was fortunate enough to have a male lover/companion who was headed most of the way across the country.

Like I wrote earlier, I started college with a Philosophy, Sociology, and Cultural Anthropology split major. Stayed in that city for a little over a year, transferred to Antioch College in Ohio, where Marxist Studies was my major. I tend to be very restless in my yearn for knowledge, probably have had 5 or 6 majors in college, also several independent projects such as Physical Oceanography, sea floor topography, and Seismic Studies. Am not trying to brag, just give you an idea of the multitude of opportunities that are out there for possible interests.

Don't let people with lesser intelligence limit your curiosity in whatever you might find interesting. Let no one, no parent, belief system, teacher, or other trivial detail or comment distract any cranial exercise or a bit of a thought from being stored or tossed about in your brain. You may be able to save yourself from boredom, become an outstanding physicist, or a brilliant chemist. You get to make the choice, unlike most other people!

Obviously, you don't live in the US. Our Labor Union membership has been increasing at a pretty steady rate over the past few years in all sectors and most industries.

Same for party organizing here in the US. When many of us hear “Communist” in a group's title, their minds usually go toward one of the several Stalinist groups that either do or did proliferate here. They tended to be violent without cause, speak without solid facts, and often relied more on protest arrests than results. Please send organizers to the US, NYS, and Chicago would be advantageous as those areas lost much of their Trotskyist base and groups. Chicago did have at least four different Trotskyist groups or parties until 1990. The last time there, Chicago had no open (non-collegiate) Trotskyist groups when there were 4+ in 1980.

Sorry, not all kids had either a spectacular childhood or are lying about their childhood. I was tortured by my older brother physically and emotionally. From about age 4 to 9 or 10, tickling to the point of peeing all over my pants or dress. He would then tease me, shaming me, about my inability to get make it to the bathroom. If mom were home, it made no difference, she'd laugh and tell him half-heartedly to stop, which he rarely would. I yelled and yelled for mom to help, she didn't, after leaving home, I figured out that she too was afraid of him. He bear hugged her in his 50s, knowing she was fine boned and frail. He had my dad's muscular, heavy frame. Furthermore, he fractured 2 or 3 vertebrae with that hug. She was 5'0 (ca. 152 cm) weighing about 85 pounds (38.56 kilogram).

My brother knew about my childhood fear of graveyards, he went driving around the countryside during a family camping trip. He came back to camp, asking me if I wanted to go for a ride down the country roads. I was only 5 or 6, he was 9 years older so, 14 or 15. I was gullible, trusted my big brother despite the problems. He drove up this old deserted road full of tall weeds. We got to an area without any houses, some dilapidated wood, and a large very old graveyard. Felt like there were many, many old gravestones, some broken down. He then forced me to get out, and drove off. I was crying, screaming, and so scared. He finally drove back after a long while, demanded that I get into his car. He threatened me that if I told mom, he would “get” me, then made me quit crying under a similar threat, gave me a Kleenex telling me to clean my face up. We got back to the camp, I ran into my mom's and my tent (she was cooking at the fire) refusing to come out until threatened that I would get no dinner. No one got the story of what happened until mom and I were alone back home 3 days later, making her swear not to spill my secret!

The family went to family therapy at an Indianapolis Family Guidance Center. I was placed in a toy room on each visit. Guess, all thought that a little kid didn't need to be involved as it was fighting between Mom, Dad, and brother. I was invisible until years later when I ran away at age 11 for the 1st time. Left for good at 16. Became sexually active at 11 (very precocious young woman). I got put in a State Hospital Unit for children at 12. That came with its own package of horrors, incl. sexual abuse and solitary confinement 24/7 for 5–7 days at a time!

Some idyllic childhood?

Am also looking for a psychiatrist to help integrate psychedelic experiences, especially LSD, and add microdosing with infrequent “break through” macro dose therapy with therapeutic integration. These interventions are needed for severe anxiety related to intense childhood and some adult PTSD that has not responded to the full battery of pharmaceutical and clinical interventions. Hypnosis was unattainable, guided imagery didn't work past half an hour after each session, wanted to try Primal Therapy but unable to take a 2-3 month hiatus from work. Tried to get Rolfing, but unable to locate a psychologist or psychiatrist willing to administer the therapy since beginning to look for solutions to the PTSD, chronic anxiety, and chronic depression. As an RN, many therapists did not feel comfortable possibly interfering with my ability to work in the high stress, major medical and Level 1 Trauma Care and SICU practice I have been in for since beginning Nursing in 1984. Started in EMS in 1978 as an EMT then EMT/Firefighter followed by Paramedic. Have been told by many psychiatric therapists that I probably entered these high stress, rapid action specialities to distract myself from thinking about my own difficulties. My OCD germ phobia just becomes well accepted caution behavior in my professional Nursing practice.

For certain things, I would go back, very specific things. I was teased and abused by my older brother. I might have left home for good before I hit 16. Childhood, wasn't very fun being bullied by kids at school for being fat and redheaded (grade school-jr. high), brother during the whole childhood/adult life until his death in 2003. Teachers disliked me through jr. high as well. No one in Central Indiana knew anything about the Autism Spectrum. I was a kid with Asperger's which I found out when in my late 50s.

My mother said she was proud of my accomplishments, but then again, I ran away from her home at 16 to New Orleans, immediately got a GED and started college in 1978. Subsequently, I transferred to a very liberal, Liberal Arts college in Ohio where I majored in Marxist Studies to the disappointment of my “conservative” mom. Not conservative like Trump, think more like Nancy Pelosi or Dianne Feinstein (conservative Democrats). Both of my parents served in WW2, mom as Police Security in the FBI escorting foreign buyers in an aluminum plant when they were making sensitive components for arms being sent to US Forces in Germany. She had to detain more than one foreign operative. She probably was really upset about my college major, as she had to undergo an intensive background check due to her German background. But always got the feeling that they were thinking, at least didn't go to the Right like my brother, something neither one of my parents would discuss. I fought with my brother bitterly, and never forgave him for making a Nazi flag to hang above his bed that both parents had to see each time they went into his room. At least they made him take it down, and it was burned that night. Never came out to my mom. She would have had a difficult time adjusting, so I married a man that I fell in love with from college for ten years. Both parents (1985, 1993) and my brother have passed since 2003 (brother).

Daddy was a thoroughly unique situation. He was an Ordnance Officer, a 1st Lt., in Germany. He had a different view of life. Could've been due to his having liberated (his platoon) a Nazi Concentration Camp. He was accepting of my then, bisexuality. He visited me in New Orleans, but I didn't tell him of my Marxist Studies major, either. Not only that, but he wouldn't have taken it even as well as mom.

Both parents were of recent German ancestry, and could trace back only a couple of generations to Germany. Mom's family even spoke German at home. My immediate family spoke German at dinner and certain other holidays.

Furthermore, got a degree in Nursing, which pleased them both. I supposed their opinion of me was mixed.

I have had no children.

Our entertainment is largely whatever is on cable TV or online, we have lived together in Chicago and Milwaukee, where we could usually find free or cheap things to do, like free days at museums or 2 dollar movie nights. The only cheap or free things are taking a walk or swimming in cold lakes. Wait, I'd have to get another used swimsuit. Oh, one cheap thrill is going to the thrift store to look for that new (to me) swimsuit or other interesting in a $350/month plus utilities apartment in yeah, well, the French Quarter on Esplanade where the choice of riding my bike or taking the bus was dependent on whether I had a hangover or was running late.

Having a wait staff job was a great deal as one did not need to declare (for tax and financial aid purposes) the tips which made up most of the income. You'd only have to declare the $1.20 an hour pay from the restaurant, but tips made up 60–100 dollars per evening (a 4-hour dinner shift) especially at a French Restaurant. Guys made more in tips than women. They'd get hired at the higher end restaurants like Brennan's and Broussard's, but we did okay. Also, had another part-time job on the weekends. Had an old Chevy Nova that was bought for $400 cash, gas was only about 79 cents a gallon. Car insurance was too pricey, so few students bought it, I know, but times were way different. Car insurance was an unaffordable luxury. Health and Life Insurance were folded into full Financial Aid packages. Guess, their reasoning was that a sick, or worse, student wouldn't pay off the loan. (Old folks get colder and more cynical if they've had a rough life, just haven't told you about my childhood.)

I moved to a lower priced apartment, sharing a 3 bedroom loft (picture less fancy, more storage like area) on Decatur Street near St. Philip, paying $80 per month rent with about 20 more for my share of the utilities. Split the costs of the apartment with a guy from Austria and one from Germany, so we all did okay. Ate b-fast at a diner, Mother's, lunch at the UNO Student Union with my fellow Trotskyists, usually got a 12-inch Shrimp Po-boy and a coke for 4 bucks (big spender, so often bought lunch for my friends).

Life is very much more expensive, with rent at $750 a month with the addition of electric and wireless. We live in rural NY so no mass transit, she paid 4,000 for her van with 100 each month for insurance, we split gas, repairs, other van expenses. All this makes me feel very bourgeois. We are definitely not bourgeoisie, both on Social Security, we split her food stamps which generally make it through the month. I pay the rent, she pays the electric, wireless, and her van insurance as if it were up to me, we'd have an old rusty pick-up truck with lower costs.

Our entertainment is largely whatever is on cable TV or online, we have lived together in Chicago and Milwaukee, where we could usually find free or cheap things to do, like free days at museums or 2 dollar movie nights. The only cheap or free things are taking a walk or swimming in cold lakes. Wait, I'd have to get another used swimsuit. Oh, one cheap thrill is going to the thrift store to look for that new (to me) swimsuit or other interesting cheap stuff.

That's why a trip guide is so important. Not just anyone, someone you're really connected with outside of tripping. You can just look at them, and they know what you're thinking, or you can whisper a bit so they can know what to communicate to another person you want to talk to but can't find the words.

This may cause some problems with your F1 Visa and subsequent financial aid received if you attempt a transfer. What college are you currently attending? Is it a member of the Seven Sisters like Vassar, Radcliffe, Smith, Barnard, Bryn Mawr, Mt. Holyoke, Wellesley, and Brandeis Colleges? These are highly respected academic excellence and some have exchange programs with equally prestigious male colleges or some have co-educational classes included in their programs if students wish to utilize them.

Attending a women's college is a respected honor. Graduating from one of them can be compared with graduation from Harvard, and certainly of higher status than letters from Dartmouth or Cornell. I am sorry to tell you that Cornell University has strong ties with the State University of New York (SUNY) and Dartmouth College is not as highly thought of as you have been led to believe. Advice: Research any path well and speak with your academic advisor.

You are a Freshman. It is expected that first year college students often bite off more than they can chew or take on more academic work than they have the ability to handle. Do you have an academic advisor, they might be able to give more incitement for your academic plan? Dropping one class, then making plans to take it in a subsequent school term. The academic advisor would be able to advise you better about a course withdrawal in your academic plan, thus not interfering with your anticipated graduation in a few years.

Went to a major branch of my state's major university for my freshman year. It was really great, as I felt ecstatic that “I was good enough to have a college accept me.” See, I had run away for about the 5th time in 5 years. I had to escape my home situation at 7 am after being out all night. I had done nothing but fall asleep at my man friend's best friend's apartment in a recliner from being tired, but having done nothing my mom would consider “bad.” It was not possible to make her believe.

My parents had divorced when I was 11, and my eldest brother had stepped into the father's strict disciplinarian role. Daddy wasn't negative toward me like he had allegedly been to my brother, who was 9 years older than me, apparently there was physical abuse that I had not seen. Furthermore, I was isolated by being Daddy's little girl. He never harmed me, but my brother had frequently.

When we in counseling, I was either ignored or put in a play room while my parents and brother were in counseling. So, they all ignored me except for a 2-year period when I was put on a child-adolescent unit of a large state mental hospital as I was considered a recalcitrant child who only thought of themselves. I took care of myself because I felt like no one else was caring for me. I went inside my mind, hiding in my room with my stereo.

People at school were always questioning why I had the best stereo systems, mega bass, loud without sound distortion, and quadraphonic (when that was popular) it was my only escape. I had tried food, but then again that didn't help. Alcohol didn't help. Only LSD helped, but it was only something I could access once a week, on weekends. It freed my mind from the misery of my life. I kept and continue to hear that any drug use is an escape mechanism. For me, it had been a pleasure then, as it is now when I use acid when I find it, which is less than once every five to ten years.

Back to the college situation, I really had no happiness in this state university as I had been told all my young years “how intelligent (I) was and if (I) just put my mind to the studies, (I) could go to any, absolutely any college (even Cambridge in England) that (I) wanted to attend.” Of course, my brother hated this about me.

At the state university, I was offered entrance to a student exchange program at any US public university that I wanted. I made a letter of interest to the University of Oregon in Eugene, Oregon. I got an acceptance letter, began preparation for attendance in the Fall. Drove from Chicago to Eugene by way of several National Parks, including Yellowstone, which enthralled my fellow geology studying friend and I. By the time I got to Eugene, found a good, cheap apartment. Registered for classes, clubs, and various study groups, oriented myself to the campus

All was well in September when I started attending classes. It wasn't until November, that I realized things weren't going well, as no class gave pop quizzes. I had academic tutors for Calculus and Physics, and dropped what I believed the most uninteresting class on my schedule of 18 credit hours (the maximum class load), brachiopod paleontology. For Calculus and Physics, I did all my homework, met with my tutor three times weekly, was under the false view that I was succeeding. Midterms revealed the shocking truth of my situation. The weather had turned to daily drizzle, all day, evening, and night, which caused me to become depressed.

As the Midterm exams and tests came, I was failing, or at least getting a 2.0 in all the classes that mattered to my Earth Science/Physical Oceanography major. I finished the term with mainly passing grades. Only one course was I getting a 4.0, in professional writing.

Got back to Chicago just in time to register for classes during Spring Term at the same campus of the state university that I had come from. I was very lucky to have not lost any academic standing save one semester of study that was easily made up.

Any Soviet leader after Lenin stinks, perhaps an exception to Khrushchev. Khrushchev at least tried to correct Stalin's major internal and external disasters. Gorbachev, at least tried, to pull the Western Bloc together, having to grapple with US's Reagan. He tried to do right by the Soviet people. He acted as best he could in the situation the West put him in, much like Tito tried with the Croatian countries.

Maybe, the rock because I majored in Geology.

Maybe, the stick because it would be a better weapon until it breaks.

No, I'll take the rock because it could also be used as a weapon.

Here's a novel idea, go to school PT, and work in CS FT. You learn much, in the field, at a position in CS. Probably more than you will if you transfer to a high-ranking university. Why change colleges if you have a 4.0? I'd stay. They'll look at your GPA, not so much the college's standing. Don't transfer if you're just bored.

I made a similar transfer after my freshman year at a good state university. Applied to this pricey private, very liberal, liberal arts college that had a major rarely found in the US, Marxist Studies.
Couldn't finish my degree due to medical issues that involved major surgery and life-changing results, but was thrilled with that year of structured study. It paved my way to a science degree done independently (Independent Studies, Physical Oceanography) and the self-discipline to study Marxism, Leninism, and Trotskyism on my own.

Think I'd have gotten bogged down in Bakunin, Goldman, Proudhon, and Mao. Probably wouldn't have ended up the Trotskyist I am today if I hadn't transferred.

Had to pay back numerous loans, but had a fair amount of scholarship money sent my way. It was all worth it.