u/RegrettableBones
RegrettableBones
RegrettableBones
It’s your wear position, as the other commenter noted world facing your baby is the worst possible position for back pain, it will never feel comfortable. It’s not ergonomic for either of you, and it looks like you don’t have the panel adjusted right. Baby’s legs are being forced too wide here, those little flaps are supposed to be tucked in more.
RegrettableBones
This is pretty much perfect, my only nitpick is to raise the waistband a couple of inches so baby can easily rest their head against the hard part of your chest (not your bust).
You don’t need to literally overlap your bra band or anything, so don’t go overboard.
RegrettableBones
Tula just discontinued their Preschool carrier sometime in the past year, so that's not an option unless you're okay with shopping secondhand. I have their Toddler carrier and I can still get a decent fit with it with my tall 4 year old (he's around 45" tall at the moment), but we're basically done wearing so I haven't done it for any length of time.
LennyLamb's Preschool looks great and actually has some adjustability, unlike most toddler/preschool carriers. I haven't personally tried it but I do have other Lenny carriers and I've found the quality great for the price.
No experience with Izmi either, sorry, I'm in the US and I don't believe that's a brand that ships here.
RegrettableBones
There really aren't too many newborn buckle carriers-- Ergobaby's Embrace is probably the best one out there, provided your baby is at least 7lbs. Boba's Bliss is alright if your baby is a bit bigger, but it can be an overwhelming amount of fabric with a small baby. Neko's Tiny is a good option, but they're based in Europe so you'll be paying extra/unknown tariffs if you're in the US. Hope & Plum's Sprout is alright if you don't have a large bust. Boppy's Comfyfit is okay, not great. It's overcomplicated and hot for what it is, but you can technically get a decent fit with it.
Pretty much every other "newborn to toddler" carrier that advertises that it does everything doesn't adjust small enough to safely fit a newborn. 99% of those start fitting around ~3 months (~15lbs, 25-26").
In terms of what to avoid; Wildbird's Aerial Buckle Wrap is terrible, it doesn't safely hold a newborn despite supposedly being Wildbird's answer to needing a newborn safe option. Mabe, Artipoppe, Wildbird, Momcozy are just a few of the brands out there that falsely advertise their carriers as being newborn appropriate, they all have a lot of influencers and social media content promoting dangerous wearing. Baby Bjorn's Mini is incredibly dated and clunky, and it's tough to get a decent fit in it. It has a narrow seat so it's outgrow within a month or so for most babies, and their instructions and headrest are a suffocation hazard. Baby K'tan and Konny aren't worth it either, the sizing and materials make these difficult to fit, and again these companies have poor/dated instructions.
automod safety automod wiki
RegrettableBones
Seconding Nalakai, it’s a decent beginner sling and I believe they’re still <$75 new.
RegrettableBones
I’m going to summon our safety bot too, if you have a minute it’s great info to have. The album of newborn fits can help you see how baby should be sitting in the carrier. Automod safety
RegrettableBones
Just adding to the other comment— with a baby this size you can start your waistband up under your bust (literally). The height you have it at now would be appropriate for a ~12 month old.
The panel and the waistband form a pocket for baby to sit in.
Here’s a babywearing educator setting this up for a small baby (she even rolls the panel as her kiddo is still quite small— you may want to try this too). https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGB-y1hyGWo/
RegrettableBones
Any carrier can make anyone’s back hurt— carriers are a lot like shoes or jeans, your favorite pair might be awful for the next person.
It’s impossible to say what caused your discomfort— you may have had the carrier adjusted incorrectly, worn incorrectly on your body, or your baby might just be too heavy to be (I’m assuming front?) worn for hours at a time.
Is your waistband tipping down in front at an aggressive angle? How are your shoulder straps and chest strap positioned? Does your baby have full hip support? Are they over 20lbs?
If you’re comfortable posting a fit check (with your faces blurred for privacy) we can let you know if there are any adjustments to try out.
I can’t say that a counterfeit will be less comfortable per say, but I would say that the materials are worse, it may contain dangerous chemicals or lead, it hasn’t been safety tested so the stitching or buckles may fail, etc. If you know it’s counterfeit and you have the means to replace it then I would cut it apart and throw it out.
RegrettableBones
Yeah, there's no right answer unfortunately. 😅
FWIW I do have both of these, but I've only used the (toddler size) Cairis with my kiddo once he was bigger. I bought the Bairn for a future baby that hasn't happened yet. It seems like it'll be great though, I've played around with it a bit.
The Cairis had a bit of a learning curve and I never fully got it down, I bought it at the end of our carrying days when he was bigger and wanted to run. I will say it my first wrap type carrier, I was very much used to full buckles and primarily an Ombuhimo at that point in my wearing journey. I think with practice it'd be a great option.
RegrettableBones
Both are nice, it just depends on what you want. Did you watch their videos to see how both of them go on? The Bairn will be faster/easier, but you can customize the support better on the Cairis.
RegrettableBones
IMO a neck roll like this is unnecessary and by adding one intentionally you're deliberately adding slack to your carry. If you happen to get done with your wrapping and notice there's a little slack there a neck roll can technically tighten it, but I wouldn't bake that in from the start.
Head support comes from a snug wrap job, proper position on your body, and proper hip and spine positioning, not from headrests or neck rolls. That could inadvertently push your baby into a chin-to-chest position which is a positional asphyxiation hazard.
RegrettableBones
Eh, I'd skip it. I don't know if it's extremely old, or if it was improperly stored, but fraying is a dealbreaker, even if they claim it was repaired. It could easily start fraying elsewhere. It's not worth having an accident or a close call over $30.
RegrettableBones
I'm going to summon our wiki, that's a great starting point if you're new to carriers. automod wiki
The main point I would call out is that you're going to need more than one carrier, unless you'd like to dive into woven wraps or a ring sling from the start (also a good option if you're up for it!). If you want a carrier with buckles you'll need a newborn option and then another one for when baby is about 3-4 months. Nearly every carrier out there that claims they fit "newborns to toddlers" starting at 7lbs do not, they do not safely adjust small enough for a small newborn and are suffocation hazards. Carrier comfort is also really subjective-- if there are any babywearing groups or educators in your area it's worth trying things on in person!
A lot of brands are plus size friendly though-- I really loved my Tula Free to Grow (now called Tula Original) starting around a 6 weeks. I was appx a 2x t-shirt size after giving birth. Tula and Ergobaby sell additional waistband extenders if needed. Hope & Plum's carriers will fit up to size 6X, though my one point of caution there is that if you're really busty their apron style carriers aren't a good fit with a newborn (but would be okay later with a larger baby). LennyLamb carriers go up to 60" on the waistband. Oscha does XL versions on some of their carriers/meh dais, but they're a splurge.
Meh Dais (where there is a carrier panel, but you tie the waistband and straps) can be more forgiving than a buckle carrier with set strap and waistband measurements. Oscha, Didymos, Girasol, and LennyLamb are some brands that make these. If you're in North America, Little Zen One and Woven Baby are two retailers that carry these European brands.
RegrettableBones
Definitely fold down the "headrest"-- that's a misnomer and a suffocation hazard. It's also irritating for a bigger baby who wants to look around. No fabric should go above the nape of the neck!
I think you've also got the seat adjusted too wide here, I would back that down a size setting.
For your own comfort, make sure the waistband isn't sagging in front. I would lower the back of the waistband so that the whole thing is parallel to the ground. A sagging waistband is a recipe for back strain.
You'll also want to make sure the straps aren't riding up onto your neck, here's a good tutorial for avoiding that: https://sheenslings.com/2023/11/21/how-to-get-cross-straps-comfortable-on-your-back/
automod safety
RegrettableBones
Sorry OP, this carrier is extremely loose, there should never be an open canyon of space like this between you and baby. If they fall asleep in the carrier like this they can easily slump and suffocate, it's a major safety issue. A small baby must be snug against your body.
To fix this, you'll need to:
- Boost baby up with one arm, and tighten each of the shoulder straps. Their butt should be sitting above the waistband, not sagging down in front of it.
- Fold down the "headrest" and button it into place on the outside of the carrier. This piece is not needed with a baby this small, it's there to extend the panel height so a large baby or toddler has continued back support. It is not there to hold a small baby's head, that's a suffocation hazard.
- As others mentioned your chest strap is right on your neck, which isn't ideal. Move that down, it should be hitting you mid-shoulder blade level.
- If you want to know if your carrier is snug enough when you're done you're going to want to put one hand behind baby's head and lean forward. If you feel their body weight pull away from yours, or if a pocket of space forms between your bodies, it's too loose/unsafe.
Here is a babywearing educator setting up this carrier: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TQRJo8BWfY&list=PLlcKdU9csCAqfefvDEEpgHiZpIf_8byXW
RegrettableBones
I would second getting a Girasol WrapMySol, or a Didymos Didyklick or DidyTai. You can find these around $200 or less new: https://www.littlezenone.com/collections/little-zen-one-mei-tai
No one can really say it's worth the splurge, only you know your income level. I haven't used a H&P meh dai, but I would slightly question if their fabrics are really the best choice for that? Most other brands make them out of woven wrap fabric which seems more appropriate.
RegrettableBones
Sorry OP, this isn't a safe fit. Baby can't have their head buried down in the carrier like this. You can try wearing the waistband higher, but I suspect your baby is too small for this carrier. Mabe doesn't start safely fitting until ~15lbs and 25-26", despite falsely advertising that this carrier is appropriate for newborns.
Baby's entire head must be out above the carrier-- just seeing a sliver of their face when you look down isn't enough. It's a positional asphyxiation hazard and it limits their access to fresh air. I'll summon our safety bot, you can read more about this. automod safety
RegrettableBones
This carrier can be worn with X straps too, that’s worth trying before you throw in the towel. I’m going to echo everyone else, your chest strap is too low and too loose, and your shoulder straps are too tight (which you had to do to compensate for the loose chest strap).
RegrettableBones
RegrettableBones
Here are some better fits in this carrier— you can see the panel buttons are set to the wide position so baby has more support, and they’re sitting above the waistband, not sagging in front of it.
RegrettableBones
RegrettableBones
I can’t tell from your photos, are you wearing this carrier apron style?
It’s meant to be worn like this with the waistband high. The waistband and panel form a pocket to support baby’s legs and butt.
RegrettableBones
Oscha typically does a % off a certain dollar amount I think. Like 10% off orders of $150 or more, 15% off $250 (not their exact numbers, but you get it).
Little Zen One does sales, they carry Didymos, LennyLamb, Oscha, Girasol.
Woven Baby is a new retailer, I'm not sure if they're running sales but it'd be worth checking on.
Seconding that this a Tula standard, and it’s too big for your kiddo. You’re over-extending their hips here which isn’t good, and that’s why they’re positioned awkwardly. Tula stopped selling inserts but you may be able to pick one up secondhand, or you can wait a couple of months to use this carrier.