u/SevenSixtyOne

What a well thought out and excellent response. I must admit I was a strong advocate of gun control for most of my adult life.

But since seeing the way this latest version of ICE has been deployed and the way this administration began stationing the national guard and marines in DC etc I’ve done a complete 180. I was wrong. I’m going to apply for my gun permit shortly.

Not that I believe I’ll be battling government forces in the street anytime soon. But the swiftness with which the political climate changed has made me realize how naive I was being. Tyrannical governments can come to power very quickly. Many of my left wing friends feel the same way.

I’m so sorry this happened and you’re hurting. You didn’t deserve this.

Hello friend. I can relate. I woke up everyday determined that “today was the day” but by 3pm I had given in and promised “I’ll quit tomorrow”

I rode that roundabout for 7 years. I finally quit at 42 with the help of AA. I had similar health issues to what you describe. They went away once I quit.

That was 13 years ago. I’ve not had a drink since. And the obsession to drink was lifted years ago. I very rarely get a craving. And if I do it feels like a distant memory and is easy to ignore.

I hope you find the courage to begin your recovery journey tomorrow. It’s very hard in the beginning. But it’s absolutely worth it.

All the best.

Oh man. It’s rough to hear your anguish. I’m sorry you’re struggling. And I completely relate.

No one who has not walked our path can understand the obsession to drink. It is madness.

You are correct. You can’t go on like this forever. For most of us, we continue until the pain of continuing to drink outweighs the fear of quitting.

I can promise you this though. All your anxiety and hopelessness you feel when you consider becoming sober is false.
I thought my sober life would be flat, dull and full of insatiable longing. I thought the fun would be over for me. I’d be a sad, lonely, bored recovering alcoholic and I’d just have to deal with it.

I could not have been more wrong. My life is bigger and more full than it ever was when I was drinking.
It is very hard in the beginning. There’s no getting around that. But if you have courage and see it through everything will be ok.

AA is where I found the support I needed to get through early sobriety. It’s always there for you if you need it.

Wishing you all the best.

Hey there friend. My story is similar. Smoked from 15 to 45. I’m 10 years sober now. It can be done. I dont miss it and I never think about it anymore unless I come here.

I’m alcoholic too. AA and 12 step work is how I broke the cycle.

Wishing you all the best.

Hello and good job reaching out.
A Sponsor is a person in AA that guides you through the 12 step AA program. It is designed to teach you how to live a contented life without alcohol, and free you from the obsession to drink.

I did over a decade of therapy with very little to show for it. But that was because I was drinking. Therapy rarely works if you’re in active addiction.

I went back to therapy after getting sober and it was a very different experience.

You can find online AA meetings by searching Google. They run 24/7 all over the world.

Best of luck. I’m rooting for you.

AA all the way. But I wouldn’t call it a crutch. It is a support structure that helps me find the strength I need when I need it.

Lots of questionable advice here. The truth is companies rarely post the maximum range for a position. There may be reasons why they can’t pay the top of the budget for a particular hire. But provided you state your salary requirements early in the interview process you have nothing to lose.

Waiting til the end is not the right move. But not applying at all because the listed comp is lower than your ask is also not the right move.

I’m sorry. Getting laid off sucks. It’s happened to me 4 times in my career.

By all means process your bitterness. But this will pass and other opportunities will come. The market is bad, but not as bad as it has been and things will rebound.

Hello. Good job reaching out. A handle every weekend is definitely drinking at an alcoholic level.

I’ve been in AA for 13 years and have been to meetings on many countries. I can assure you your assumptions about AA are not accurate at all. But go check it out. What do you have to lose except a couple of hours of your time

I’m not sure what you mean by get over myself?

There are key problems with total wage transparency in most companies. One issue is no two employees are created equal. Some employees will bring more value than others who have the same job title and responsibilities.

The easiest example is sales. Few people would argue that every sales person should be paid the same. Because those that are better at their jobs bring in more revenue.

The same goes for marketing, operations, IT etc etc. They all affect the bottom line and some employees are better than others.

But that value is very hard to quantify on paper. So employees looking at other employees’ salaries with the same job title will tend to be dissatisfied if they are not paid the same.

The other issue is the fluctuating cost of labor. A new employee in a tight job market may get paid more than a tenured employee.
People will argue that the tenured employee should simply have their pay increased to meet the market rate. But that’s short sighted. Because that same employee will not want to take a cut when the labor market is soft and wages have decreased.

Well said!

That’s a description not a reason. What do you consider the benefits of full wage transparency within a company?

Hello and good job reaching out.

You are right to be concerned. Moderate drinkers do not drink the way that you currently are. You could be slipping into active alcoholism, you could have just fallen into a bad habit.

How easy it is for you to change your drinking habits should show you which is true.

No one here can tell you if it is safe to quit cold turkey. Some people have drank more and longer than you and are able to quit without medical complications. Others may have drank less and have dangerous withdrawal.

Tapering is the safest method. But many alcoholics aren’t able to do it (I wasn’t). Give it a try and report back.

I’m curious why you think this is important.

You’re not wrong. But you’re not approaching this in a way that will get what you desire. Your partner will not be honest with you about their drinking. Threats will make them less likely to be honest. Because a core part of alcoholism is deception. We deceive ourselves, we deceive others. If we can’t be honest with ourselves, how could we be honest with others.

Your approach is doomed from the start. And will only serve to disappoint and upset you.

I don’t have any better advice than to seek out Alanon to help you set boundaries that will work for you

I agree with keeping more of what we earn. But what happens when this trend reaches its conclusion and 99% of the wealth is held by 1% of the population?

That’s when the capitalism system is completely broken.

This is true. The top earners pay the largest percentage of taxes. There’s a nuance that I think is important to consider. The top 10% of earners have been consistently consolidating the largest share of wealth since WW2.

For example.

1950 top 10% of earners paid 33% of income taxes (wealth stats not available)

1990 they paid 55% of income taxes and held 60% of the wealth

2000 67% of tax 65% of wealth

2010 70% of tax 68% of wealth

2020 73% of tax 70% of wealth

If this trend continues do you see any reason for concern?

Bahahaha

Never heard that term before. Curious as to why you posted this.

Yes. I regularly took Xanax when I was still drinking. Scary in hindsight because combining the two can stop you breathing in your sleep.

Aww man. That sucks. Tomorrow is another day, and you don’t know what the future will bring. But today it sucks. I’m sorry.

“If I give in now, I’ll be right back where I started. And when I started, I was desperate to be where I am now”

Continuing sobriety motivation.

Best way to help someone like that is to leave them. Negative consequences are what gets addicts into recovery.

Damn. Always wanted a sis.