u/Shazbot24

Leaving my kid.

And honestly, school shootings really have me worried.

I've given Dads enough ammo to call me out. I'm not going to feed the fire here haha.

Thank you.

Noted.
Thank you.

appreciate the feedback.

I'll just dip it in the sauce moving forward.
Part of the issue for me is I live with my inlaws. A lot is catered for them to be included and I struggle with that. Arguably some times it a 3vs1, and that starts to get tiring. The spice thing is one of the many focal points.

The plan is to get our own space down the road, but just always being put in a spot where my opinion is outvoted is tiring.

Sure I brought it to the spice level, but there was more to the conversation involving the SIL MIL that I did not include.

Not here to make excuses, I appreciate everything she does but I'm getting tired of not being in my own setting.

I can keep rambling about this as I've played it out many a time, but I may save that for another post or keep it to myself / speak to a therapist about it.

This was definitely it. I was imagining having it as a kid vs. her first crack at cooking it.
Yeah, I'm the idiot. I recognize that now.

Man, thanks for pointing that out. With some sleep in me and reading what I put out last night in the post I do owe all the Dads here an apology. She didn't butcher it, it was her first go at making it and I should give more grace.
I came home to a meal and I'm thankful for that.

I appreciate it. I'll be more open moving forward, with some filters in place.
I was just having a rough day. Definitely feel like I'm suffering from burnout.

Just need to get over this hump with work.

Thanks man.

My father had a brain tumor.
I saw him change from loving and caring to being an absolute jerk to everyone. The fuse was non-existent.

Diagnosis to expiry was 6 months. It SUCKED. But, what I'm seeing is it might be ... growing.

Take a breathe, I really hope I'm wrong, but if things just seem worse and out of character then it likely is effecting her in ways you can't rationalize.

I really hope for the best here brother. Take care of yourself and your child.

I was looking for any way to make more money.
Instead, I believed it, and I lost a lot.

Luckily, I didn't enter more debt as I was actively working on that to pay it off. Sure it was a setback, but things worked out alright for me.

I STILL hate myself for it though.

Made some hard decisions, reassessed my budget and put 1 foot infront of another. Lost a job and got another job on the same day along the way.

Found out I have more grit than I thought I did, and stopped letting people treat me like shit.

Honestly, if you're planning on sticking around working there, you should make some time for the team building outside of work.

Part of that reason is it gives people a perspective of what someone is outside of work. Being in a high-stress environment all the time, its fun to crack jokes and unwind.

Where this interferes with your personal life is you're a father and have a family. So, for starters, I'd commit to going to half of those events. Not ALL of them, but 50% if they're doable. The other indirect is you can always leave early because you have to tend to your family. But they'd still remember seeing you there and having a few laughs (some beers? Some wings? I'm not sure what the scope of team building is...). This also helps with career growth.

In the beer lineup I had a chat with my boss, we ended up sitting down and coming up with a game plan for me to perform better.

Now, I know its a lot to put out there, this isn't necessarily the advice you're looking for. But to be in a place to better provide for your family, you should make some sort of an effort to attend a few of the team-building.

My 2 cents.

It takes time.
Mine was instant, but there was also a lot of other family present in the upbringing. A majority of the time I felt like I was in the backseat to his growth. ie... He rather be with grandma/aunti over me.

Then, with time, its like something on his end clicked. Inseparable now, and leaving to go to work in the mornings is pure heartache.

It'll happen man. Give it time. I'm not going to type out all the frustration I felt and aired to my wife and friends during this time. From Dad's further along, they all told me to be patient, and I'm glad I listened.

2011 328i Xdrive.
Just did about $1900 in repairs.

The car is STILL, cheaper to insure and having no car payments. Sure its depreciated past the point, but its a running car that I enjoy and is closer to cheap than I anticipated.

As a car guy, whose friends all have something new and/or EV, I hold that detail close as I know some of them are in car payments.

Comparing apples to Oranges, another friend of mine just got a 60k truck with 25k down. Car-payment and insurance prior to gas costs, he's at close to $900/month.

Mine, payment free and just insurance with some discount $155/month.

For me, I'll need to move on when downtime or a major repair become unfeasible. Until then, I'll keep this old(er) beamer going.

I had to put the game down for a few days.

Honestly, this is one thing I'm currently struggling with. I had an old coworker (I changed companies a few years ago) pass away making some poor decisions on his motorcycle.

Friend of mine who was mutual to both of us immediately told me to sell my bike, and its not worth the risk.

Watching all my coworkers post, interact, and share memories was a lot to digest. Everyone does graze over the fact my past-colleague was being incredibly negligent with his actions and how it all ended.

Sucked none-the-less, but now I'm in the opinionated cross-fire.

1994 Jeep Cherokee.
I think I've moved way past that point to want to get that back again.

Also, the vent glass was just too convenient for breakins. Thaanks for sparing the locks, but now I need another vent glass.

Loved it, yes. WIthout an AC and always had an oil leak, and living underneath it to tighten the torque converter bolts.

I think I'm good.

Buell supercruiser

I'm always going to want another car.

Whether its justified or not.

NTA.

Wear and tear on your car for his weekend hustle and he can't hold his end of the deal. Additionally, he should have a timeline as to when he'd be getting his own vehicle so he doesn't solely rely on yours for running his business.

If mom has a car available, she should lend hers.

I don't miss it. I'm coming up to 11 months now.

The part that catches me off-guard is when I walk through a waft of someone smoking a joint. Not in a friends setting, but just more so walking through downtown.

At that point, its more so smelling something familiar that reminds me of good times, but I don't want to lose my stride and fall back into old habits.

I think what you should know is it is one day at a time. For me, that meant counting victories of each day. Even say, if you have a setback, its not a complete restart. Its just 1 day, keep moving forward and kick-the-habit.

Good luck, and trust it gets better with time.

I've had a trainer kick me off a machine for his client.

First and last time that happened.

This is flipping amazing.
I changed gyms because lifestyle and time commitments changed, and I just wanted to be elsewhere The gym was amazing but it was also starting to be too far of a drive for it to be productive for me. Seeing her there and us awkwardly navigating that made it particularly less favourable.