u/ShinyPsych

When I started training I was told ‘everyone will fail a couple of things’. It was a 4 strikes rule and my experience of the marking was really inconsistent and harsh. Fails were viewed as learning opportunities by the staff so I think it varies across courses.

There were lots of examples of some trainees passing and others failing on the same criteria. The system was overhauled and is better now but there was a really strong culture of ‘marking is subjective there’s nothing we can do’. An example was my clinical tutor read a draft of mine and said ‘it’s a pass for me but it depends who you get’. It did in fact fail for something that wasn’t even in the marking criteria and my second marker said was a pass 🤷‍♀️

My old course moved from ‘4 strikes and you’re out’ to ‘3 strikes and you’re out’ when the coursework load reduced for incoming cohorts. A fail was a ‘borderline fail’ which could be resubmitted with changes, or a straight fail which either needed to be a new piece of work or a technicality from handing in late etc. This applied to placement, coursework and exams.

They’ve since moved to 2 fails of the same piece of work leads to withdrawal. So while there is no accumulation of fails weighing on students through training there is quite a bit of anxiety about resubmission as they’ve also moved to anonymous marking so you can’t meet with the marker to discuss changes. Trainees are relying on written feedback but found the marking quote subjective.
There has been a massive increase in submitting mitigating circumstances around fails because of the anxiety of not passing on resubmission. I suspect they’ll get tighter around this.

If you achieve it then it was feasible! So long as you can adequately explain everything within your word count to ensure it’s clear and reproducible, I wouldn’t worry about this. You may be asked ‘could you have done X instead of Y?’ But it doesn’t mean what you did was wrong, it’s an opportunity to do exactly as you have here and explain why you did what you did. The purpose of viva is to demonstrate that this is your original work, that you understand it deeply and it is doctorate level research.

We did this, highly recommend. Firm mattress big enough for cosleeping it was a game changer

Does anyone with young kids use them? I’m curious but concerned I’ll tune out my kids when I’m doing other things and need to be vigilant. Also curious if anyone with weirdly tiny ears has used them, I’ve never found a pair of in ear buds small enough!

Weeks 7-20 I was so crippled by hyperemesis I could barely move. 20-26 I could physically go to work and go through the motions. By week 31 I was in so much pain with my hips I was signed off by my doctor. The best moment of my pregnancy was the epidural 😆

Twin mum here. Absolutely NTA. I breastfed my twins, end up supplementing with formula and happily combi feeding but those first few months was so so tough just to keep them fed. They were my only children and crucially; were my own kids! Exclusive pumping includes pumping every 2-3 hours even through the night she would have had to be setting alarms to wake up and pump to maintain supply. Supply for two babies is no joke!

Twin pregnancy is also extra tough so recovering from that as a surrogate is, wow. It’s an incredible act of generosity for your sister.

Now putting myself in your sister’s shoes, I know how rough taking care of two newborns is. Do you think she might be struggling mentally a little? It doesn’t matter if she birthed them or not, the same way that dads can have PPD. Becoming a parent is tough and I wonder if there’s an extra layer of insecurity there about not being birth mum that’s driving this narrative about everything being ‘perfect’. Either way her behaviour is completely unreasonable and you have given her so much. I understand the dream of exclusive breastfeeding is hard to let go of for your sister, but unfortunately it’s one she should have accepted a long time ago and therefore wouldn’t have felt like a shock.

Wishing you both lots of luck and congratulations on your nephews 💙💙

Baby wearing! Either tandem wearing or wear one and hold the other. I don’t have guaranteed parking outside my house so often have to walk a little, as it’s further than I would feel comfortable leaving them alone in the house. I would put them in the twingo carrier and strap them in their seats one at a time. Also sometimes I still do this at age 2 when they are in a particularly feral mood and I can’t deal with them running in opposite directions on the way to the car 😅

This happened to me and adhd360 honoured the date that the referral should have been sent so I didn’t lose anytime. I think it helped my GP practice owned up to it and advocated on my behalf

Lots of good advice here but wanted to chime in to say you are stronger than you think and you likely would be able to carry two infant seats at once! That twin mum strength is something else

My view is if it’s worth the time to the seller to photograph, list, deal with admin and post jeans for £2, then £5 is probably worth a bit to them! (It would be for me!)

I agree with other commenters that I would let them know, and if they say ‘oh it’s ok’ I might also be a tiny bit persistent about offering it back. I might be a bit embarrassed to ask a buyer to get it back to me if it was my mistake and initially refuse

You’re a good person

Yes, my husband built one into a corner of the living room that was also their play space. It could be completely open and usually was, but I could shut it if I needed to answer the door or get a drink. Ended up baby proofing the room entirely but it was very useful for quite a long time

I had a due date and an ‘eviction date’. “Due end of Jan but eviction set for the 5th!’”

Dough-lene came to live with me 3 months ago. She will take your man 💅 Age unknown, grabbed some discard from a bakery.

Check which providers will continue to offer treatment if shared care is refused! Can’t fault adhd360 personally. I’ve found Aisha to be really thorough and well informed on women’s health and adhd. I am continuing to get my medication through them at nhs prices now shared care has been refused

I think the biggest thing I can suggest is to just accept that tantrums will happen, and try not to give a F what people think. It is SO hard to be the parent in this situation, there’s often not an obvious why they happen. Other parents will get it, some people won’t, you can’t control that. You can only control how calm you are and focus on your baby. It will pass

Practically at this age having a buckle sling that went on my back really helped me, the contact, closeness and the sensory input (pressure) really helped calm my kids. Not all babies will go for it and it’s not always sustainable for a long time due to weight. I had it in the basket of the stroller for these situations. I try not to ‘stop’ a tantrum by giving in (if I’ve set a boundary) or doing things like giving them a tablet. I find it best to let them feel their feels, let them know you’re there and attempt to help soothe and practice calming skills. We started doing big breaths around this age and at nearly 2 they use them themselves now when they are getting cross.

Sometimes you’ve just got to make them safe and get them out of the environment and deal with it later without any chance for ‘parenting’ in the moment. I’ve had to do this many times 😅

Your baby is just discovering the exciting world and finding that comes with a hell of a lot of ‘no’ and limitations and frustration. You are their safe person to push the boundaries with, responding to them calmly and compassionately when you can will help. Hold your nerve, you’ve got this!!

I honestly don’t know what the difference between whipping and beating is because they are both subjective terms that mean hitting a child.

You’re interpreting ‘hiding’ as deception. I would interpret that as fear. There really needs to be some deeper investigation here.

There are lots of models of potty training but most would advise against him having a diaper at all at this point if he knows how to go to the toilet. Having a diaper may also be adding to his confusing. It sounds like you need to go back to basics on this one and let a dr decide if there’s nothing wrong health wise. Blood work, abdominal exam, stool and urine sample can all reveal things we can’t see.

You can disagree with me, but all the research indicates hitting children is at BEST pointless because they don’t learn from it. At worst, it’s abuse. I would say growing up to hit children isn’t really a sign that you grew up unscathed by physical violence.

Also adding, a regression in toileting ability can be an indication of stress and trauma. Being hit is stressful and traumatic, I’m not saying they’re connected. I’m saying as a mandatory reporter this would raise flags for further exploration if it came across my desk.

Where is he going if not in the toilet?

At the 1 year mark I would probably be looking for some professional input on potty training. Are there more tailored techniques you could get or a parenting course specific to potty training you could go on?

I would also be discussing this with his paediatrician. Could he be constipated or having other troubles going to the toilet?

Now ‘whipping’ may mean something different to you than me. But I’m basing the following on my understanding that whipping a child means hurting them.

‘Whipping’ is not going to teach a 3 year old to go to the toilet. It’s going to teach him that his parents hurt him. It must be extremely confusing for him with the inconsistency as you pointed out. Being hit for getting something wrong and not understanding must be so confusing. I don’t normally comment on people personal parenting decisions but you asked for advice and physical violence is really not acceptable or helpful.

It could also be contributing to his distress at the mention of the potty. He may be associating conversations about the potty with being hit

I completely agree with this! My twins are my first but I really thought I would be an anxious mum. I just haven’t had capacity to worry about so many things I thought I would 😂 I joke that being a first time twin parent is a bit like being a second time parent in that you’re more relaxed, but without any of the qualifications of experience and knowing what you’re doing.

I also think I’m judged a lot less than my singleton parent friends. The benefits of the annoying looks of pity in public is that people are generally thinking ‘glad it’s not me’ rather than ‘why doesn’t that woman stop her toddler from crying’

Mine are about to turn 2 and I’m still using it! When they were 6 months I used it when they were fussy around the house, if they wanted to be held but I needed to do things. When they were both crying and needed comfort the sling was as a happy place for them, very handy out and about. I used it to get them from the car to indoor places where it would be too much of a fuss to get the pram out. I used to do shopping with it where there weren’t double carts, go to appointments in it. We did a few walks in it but they got a bit heavy for extended walks, ironically it’s easier now as my diastasis has healed!

The key for me was spending a fair bit of time making sure it was fit exactly to me then I used to clip it round my waist before we got in the car so I was ready to go. The winter part is hard! I’m in the UK so comparatively mild but still cold enough that they need layers. I would just dress them for the weather and then have them in the twingo which I wore over my coat. I would need to adjust it to accommodate extra layers.

As toddlers we use it to walk short distances as they refuse to hold my hand and are prone to running off! If we’re out and about and one is having a tricky time I often will put them in the back sling so they can be close to me and it’s a safe space to calm down and I can still play with the other. If you’ve got two tantruming toddlers it’s very handy to be able to strap them to you and leave! Id say it’s my number one twin item and I’ll be devastated when they outgrow it

If it helps, I have boy girl twins who are almost 2. Same screen time, same parenting, same input on everything. My girl is so verbal and chatty and my boy is speech delayed. Coming from a child development background I’m not worried in the slightest about his speech as I know he’ll get there. We’re all just doing our best and genetics are wild. Both my kids have different strengths and it’s so hard not to compare, you’re doing everything right. Speech is a funny one because professionally I rarely saw parents saying ‘my little girl isn’t climbing the climbing frame as well as other children’ or ‘my boy isn’t holding his cutlery as well as others’. But speech we put a lot more emphasis on when it’s just one of many skills our toddlers are working on. It will all come good ❤️

Did you go from 50 to 70? It’s possible 70 is too high and you might have a smoother ride with 60 without the crash. I take 70mg 5 days a month just before and during my period, a couple of times it’s been randomly late and I’ve started taking the 70mg too ‘early’. I notice I’m super focused in the morning, possibly a little wired even, and crash in the afternoons on the days I don’t need it.

Also on the cold: Stimulants can cause circulation issues, it’s worth raising it with your provider. Have you slowly titrated up?