u/SoberAlternative
SoberAlternative
SoberAlternative
Just take it one day at a time, lots of times when I was newly sober I just kept saying the Serenity prayer to remind me that I’m the only one I can change…. That’s the hardest because as a woman I was always trying to play God and make everything & everyone do as I wanted (pretty lame, but we do it very well) I’m glad your dinner with your family went well & I hope someday they may be more sensitive to your not drinking. I never minded being a DD for friends if I was going with them someplace where there’s going to be drinking. One thing you’ll see pretty quick is how stupid people get when drinking or drugging and it’ll turn you off. Recognizing you were that way once makes it harder to face. I do have “normie” friends who are non drinkers or light drinkers. I made a rule for myself in cases of going somewhere that you know your friends are going to get wasted, I always drive myself. Rule #1: you don’t haven’t stay anywhere you’re uncomfortable. No excuses, just beg off early & head out by yourself & go home or get yourself a cookie on your way home! Congratulate yourself for getting through through a lousy evening without joining in. Find yourself a female only AA meeting & make friends & get involved. There are so many of us out there! Anytime I travel, I look for a local meeting - it’s fun to make friends in other places, you’d be surprised. Being in AA is like being in an exclusive club that caters to us around the world 🌎 and where we will ALWAYS be welcomed. Keep up your excellent work & attitude. Be kind to yourself & keep moving forward 🤙🏼
SoberAlternative
Find yourself a female AA meeting & get involved, stick around, listen to others & absorb what they’re doing to stay sober. Try out several meetings & do a general speaker or discussion group & get involved. We as women are totally different from the guys & need a space where we can feel safe to confide in others and share our shit - we’ve all got loads of it… insecurity, helplessness, loneliness & guilt. It’s all right there, find a group meeting of women you can relate to & get involved. You’ve got to fight for yourself & find others doing the same thing. Leave your partying friends behind you, you are better than that shit. Congratulations on 4 weeks - go take a 30’day chip at a meeting. People will encourage you to stick around.
As for your $200 MIA former friend, I know you need the $$ but my mother said this saying:
I had some money,
I had some friends,
I lent some money to a friend,
now I have no money,
and no friends.
Check to see if there’s any ‘Alano Clubs’ nearby for sober meetings & socializing. You’ve done great so far- don’t give up before the miracle happens! Just trust the process. There are women out there that totally “get” the madness you’re going through & will help if you ask. Keep on working it 🤙🏼
SoberAlternative
Get out of yourself, of course you’re not good at socializing/ that’s why you got into drugs & alcohol / to relate to people, be funny & feel free of your negativity for the duration of the buzz. I’d say 90% of the people in recovery found that getting loaded made them feel accepted because otherwise they were socially awkward. We are all insecure deep down, you don’t have the corner on that market. To get & stay sober you need to find like minded people who know they can’t continue living in addiction & are working their asses off to get & stay sober.
SoberAlternative
Not the ones I know; they’re kick ass people who have a great life doing everything they loved before just w/o drugs & alcohol. We hit concerts, picnics & barbecues, bowling, softball & basically stuff we’ve done forever. You just need to find “your people” - we’re everywhere🤙🏼
SoberAlternative
Find yourself a few meetings, I suggest eventually getting a home meeting with people you can relate to. Find a single sex meeting where you can speak your truth and be understood. There’s thousands of AA meetings in So Cal - you don’t need money for a rehab, you just need some help & inspiration to find a better life. Lots of people can’t afford rehab & come into AA and find all the help & knowledge they need to get in with a sober life. Look for the similarities, not the differences…… I’ll bet there’s several meetings daily where you live in LA, you just need to find them. I hope this will help a bit, just search in your neighborhood 🤙🏼 . Go to your phone App Store & download this;
SoberAlternative
Nothing changes out there. But if you need to do more research 🤷🏼♀️. Find yourself a single sex meeting & get involved- none of us wanted to be addicted. But if your best thinking got you into AA & recovery; take solace that most sober people weren’t self assured, hated themselves & thought the world was against us. Stick around, find someone who has a story you can relate to. Yes, it requires work, some days suck for no fucking reason. That’s life. Get on with it- find a sponsor you can relate with. It’ll make a difference.
SoberAlternative
I have no doubt, we all do our best 🐾🐾🥰💔
SoberAlternative
I stand corrected! Thank you, have to admit knowing what you just said, I know it’s possible ‼️🤷🏼♀️🤙🏼
SoberAlternative
They’ve taken a couple of my cats over the years (lived here 45 years). I’ve ridden horses most of my life, a trail rider, so I’ve seen thousands over the years in the wilderness & hills. They don’t gaf about horses, I’ve never felt threatened. I did buy an air soft pellet gun got here at the house; haven’t had any reason to use it.
SoberAlternative
Me neither! But I’d love to see one in the wild. It’s a good book, they made it into a movie but I’ve never seen or heard of it in the US.
SoberAlternative
Looks like you had some great adventures together❣️🐾🐾✅
SoberAlternative
Thanks for the award 🫶🏼🤙🏼
SoberAlternative
So, this little beauty doesn’t belong to you?? She’s very relaxed, is she a neighborhood cat?
SoberAlternative
Great, all my cats were rescues or ‘walk ons’ to my property - 1/4 acre on a cul de sac with 11 houses. Apparently, the word on the street is a nice lady would take care of them, feed them, neuter them & give them the option of being indoor / outdoor cats. They all stayed & got along 🤙🏼coming in / out through a window with no screen. They still come in at night, there’s been coyotes around. ❤️❤️🐾🐾❤️❤️
SoberAlternative
True fact, I’d wear 2 tshirts, short sleeve under a long sleeve- that way I could drive the 40 minutes home in relative peace. Once the long sleeve came off I was washing off my face, neck & arms. A button up full body coverall would’ve been great… what a doofus 😳🤦🏼♀️
SoberAlternative
Inside / outside siblings?
SoberAlternative
Absolutely, first time I ever saw it was the first 2 days with me. She was spicy 🌶️ . Was rescued off the side of a freeway in Long Beach, CA. Took her quite awhile to assimilate, I had 5 cats at that time. They accepted her as a friend - the only female in the crowd🐾🐾❣️
SoberAlternative
You can count on that 🐾🐾
SoberAlternative
You know they’re laughing at us, even more enjoying it and not making a sound. Punishment for the humans……
SoberAlternative
I live in CA & while this state has been overtaxed, over regulated, restrictive & a horrible place to have a business, data privacy laws & the easy to quick regulation is good. I never gave this a thought when I went through the hassle to ‘formally quit’ in 2020. Not sure when the law was enacted 🤷🏼♀️.
SoberAlternative
Haven’t met a “gay” male biker club, other than the women in “Dykes on Bikes” that always lead the Pride Parades in Los Angeles & Long Beach, CA. Really, find a better word to use other than “gay”. It’s absolutely rude, demeaning and the way you use it, insulting to many people out here. Especially me. Please, do better.
SoberAlternative
Awesome, it’s so fun to get involved with fun & silly events 🤙🏼, Christmas Parade in San Pedro, CA. We had a blast ❤️‼️He’s always been willing ❣️
SoberAlternative
There’s a book out (I read it) simply titled “H is for Hawk” about a woman in England or Scotland who gets a goshawk and trains it. It was a great read on goshawks. You might be interested if you’re a reader! It’s at libraries….
SoberAlternative
Yup, it’s a true sweet potato (pale yellow & drier) than a garnet yam 🍠. Amazing how many people don’t know this!! I hope you enjoyed it!! Was a good fake out!!
Try Calmoseptine, it’s really great ointment for the inflammation. I had colon cancer 8 years ago, I keep it around for when I have bouts with runs. Cheapest place is Costco, if you don’t belong try Walmart. Call first to be sure they have it or if they’ll get it for you. Hard to be positive with a sore sphincter…..
https://preview.redd.it/6k40s8ibvzxh1.jpeg?width=4028&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f67f4767e84af60e83491e6bcb282ef36a5c004
Just be yourself, try journaling all the thoughts that are making you crazy 🤪 the act of writing things out can really help you rid yourself of them. Get a small wire bound notebook & just flush those crazy thoughts out through your hand into the pen & voila! It’s gone. You can do this, just look at it one day at a time… there were times I took life 5 minutes at a time.. no shame, no judgement. Be kind to yourself, find an AA meeting with your same sex & get involved. Look for the similarities, not the differences- listen to what’s said & if you like what you’re hearing, reach out & tell them you liked what they said.
You’ve got a good start, just keep moving forward 🤙🏼