u/StaticShakyamuni

You just don't remember having them because dementia.

Did you just call a side item and a drink a meal, OP?

Your reddit avatar looks like a certain historical douchebag.

I'm with you, OP. The human body is a shameful and dirty thing and we must hide it away.

Combining two articles on one page gives this a very strange link title: https://verdicttimes.com/music-has-a-unique-way-of-improving-a-babys-mood-through-singing-and-soothing-sounds/

OP literally died because of these comments. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Yes, definitely get her what u/7LKY prefers rather than what your wife prefers. It's so much better to shove someone else's preferences down your wife's throat.

This one is really good. It is not a series, though. It's a one-off.

This one is not a series - it's just a one off - but it's really good.

u/MochaLatte05, please explain why you don't cater your posts to u/BroadRaspberry1190 's preferred genres. This is unacceptable.

Grandma's gonna be sneaking into your room with a melon baller. Lock your door and sleep with duct tape around your eyes.

You're hired.

r/FuckNestle

どうでしょうね～。

ESH. Obviously them for their behavior, but you for:

1. using the term chicken head, which gives us an idea of your mental age and, more importantly,
2. forcing your daughter to be responsible for making sure you act like an adult. Who is the parent and who is the child here?

I'd label this as misinformation if you're not going to clarify that nowhere in the article does it talk about her befriending a cockroach. The headline is not OP's fault, but making it seem like the headline is accurate by providing no context is on OP (as well as adding to the comment section something that seems to support the headline claim).

I've been in plenty of greenhouses. You typically don't encounter this.

Humans don't normally sit by the window naked like this.

Yahoo! comment sections in all countries have long been a toxic mess of the most racist people spam commenting. And these days with the bots too...

George bursts through the door.

GEORGE: I was robbed!

JERRY: You were robbed?

GEORGE: Robbed, Jerry! Right in front of everybody! And they made me feel cheap!

JERRY: What did they take?

GEORGE: Pizza rolls.

Jerry stares at him.

JERRY: Pizza rolls.

GEORGE: A hundred and thirty pizza rolls.

JERRY: Well, that's not robbery. That's catering.

GEORGE: I brought them to a game night at Susan's friend's apartment. Big bag. Brand new. Unopened. We get there, everybody's got food. Chips. Dip. Little vegetables nobody's touching. Fine. Then somebody decides to order Domino's.

JERRY: So?

GEORGE: So we eat the pizza! The rolls never enter the oven!

JERRY: Tragic.

GEORGE: Exactly! But I'm thinking, no problem. I take them home. Tomorrow night, pizza rolls. Maybe Wednesday, pizza rolls. I've got a whole week mapped out.

JERRY: A hundred and thirty pizza rolls is a week?

laugh track

GEORGE: I'm pacing myself!

uproarious laugh track

Elaine enters.

ELAINE: What's happening?

JERRY: George lost custody of 130 pizza rolls.

GEORGE: I did not lose custody. They were seized.

ELAINE: What are you talking about?

GEORGE: At the end of the night, I'm gathering my things. My coat, my keys, I'm mentally locating the pizza rolls.

JERRY: Mentally locating?

GEORGE: I knew where they were, Jerry! I'm establishing the retrieval sequence!

ELAINE: Oh, God.

GEORGE: And the host says, "Oh, I'm looking forward to having those pizza rolls tomorrow."

JERRY: Ooh.

ELAINE: Yeah, they're gone.

GEORGE: Why are they gone?!

ELAINE: Because you brought them to her house.

GEORGE: I brought them there to be eaten at the party!

ELAINE: You bring food to someone's house, it's a gift.

GEORGE: No! Wine is a gift! Flowers are a gift! Pizza rolls are a contingent contribution!

JERRY: Contingent on what?

GEORGE: Consumption!

JERRY: Ah. The Pizza Roll Doctrine.

laugh track

GEORGE: Precisely! Once the party ends, the contingency expires and ownership reverts to the original party.

ELAINE: You can't repossess party food!

GEORGE: Why not?!

ELAINE: Because it's cheap!

GEORGE: It's a hundred and thirty rolls!

JERRY: That's the problem. If it were twelve rolls, you're cheap. At 130, suddenly you've got a case.

GEORGE: Thank you!

ELAINE: He does not have a case!

GEORGE: It's a huge bag, Elaine! This isn't some little bowl of hummus. This is inventory!

JERRY: He's a wholesaler.

laugh track

GEORGE: I was excited about those rolls!

ELAINE: You're a grown man.

GEORGE: Grown men can't enjoy pizza rolls?!

JERRY: They can. They just usually don't litigate them.

GEORGE: And Susan takes the host's side! She says it's like bringing a bottle of wine to dinner. A bottle of wine! Completely different!

ELAINE: How?

GEORGE: Because if I bring wine, the host can choose not to open it. That's understood.

JERRY: And pizza rolls?

GEORGE: Pizza rolls arrive with a mission! They're operational food!

JERRY: Operational food.

GEORGE: They require deployment!

ELAINE: George, you brought frozen food to someone's home. You don't get to stand by the freezer at midnight demanding its repatriation.

GEORGE: I didn't demand anything! I merely indicated that perhaps we could stop somewhere and buy more pizza rolls.

JERRY: Ahhh. You floated the replacement rolls.

GEORGE: I floated them!

ELAINE: Passive-aggressively.

GEORGE: Strategically!

JERRY: And what happened?

GEORGE: She offered me half.

ELAINE: There you go! You got sixty-five pizza rolls.

GEORGE: I don't want sixty-five!

JERRY: You just said you wanted pizza rolls.

GEORGE: I want my pizza rolls!

ELAINE: They're the same pizza rolls!

GEORGE: It's the principle!

JERRY: It's always the principle when George wants free food.

GEORGE: I PAID FOR THE FOOD!

ELAINE: Then why didn't you just take the bag?

GEORGE: Because Susan gave me the look!

JERRY: The cheap look?

GEORGE: The cheap look.

ELAINE: Because it was cheap!

GEORGE: Why am I cheap?! She's the one keeping another man's pizza rolls!

JERRY: That's an interesting point.

ELAINE: Don't encourage him.

GEORGE: Thank you! Why isn't anyone talking about the host? She sees an unopened bag of 130 pizza rolls and immediately thinks, "Breakfast!"

JERRY: Breakfast?

GEORGE: I don't know when she's eating them!

ELAINE: You're upset because she was excited about the exact same food you were excited about.

GEORGE: That's right.

ELAINE: So you understand her.

GEORGE: I understand her desire. I reject her claim.

JERRY: It's the Middle East of appetizers.

GEORGE: There has to be a rule!

JERRY: Okay. Chips?

GEORGE: Host keeps them.

JERRY: Dip?

GEORGE: Depends on the container.

ELAINE: Oh, come on.

JERRY: Cookies?

GEORGE: Host.

JERRY: Six-pack?

GEORGE: Host.

JERRY: Unopened 130-count bag of frozen pizza rolls?

George points emphatically.

GEORGE: RETURN TO SENDER!

ELAINE: What if it's a 40-count bag?

George pauses.

GEORGE: That's a gray area.

laugh track

JERRY: So somewhere between forty and 130 pizza rolls, ownership changes.

GEORGE: Obviously.

ELAINE: What's the number?

GEORGE: I don't know! That's what society needs to determine!

JERRY: Maybe that's what the Supreme Court is for.

laugh track

GEORGE: Laugh all you want. I'm posting this online.

ELAINE: Oh, please do.

JERRY: What are you going to ask?

GEORGE: "Am I the asshole?"

Jerry and Elaine immediately answer together.

JERRY AND ELAINE: Yes.

George looks offended.

GEORGE: For wanting back my own property?!

ELAINE: For making 130 pizza rolls into a property-rights dispute!

GEORGE: THEY NEVER OPENED THE BAG!

JERRY: That's going to be his argument in the comments.

GEORGE: Because it's relevant!

JERRY: Three thousand people will tell him he's wrong.

ELAINE: And he'll argue with every one of them.

GEORGE: If three thousand people are wrong, am I supposed to just sit there?!

Jerry opens the refrigerator.

JERRY: Want something to eat?

GEORGE: What've you got?

JERRY: Pizza rolls.

laugh track

George slowly turns toward him.

GEORGE: How many?

JERRY: About sixty-five.

George's eyes narrow.

GEORGE: Where did you get them?

Jerry smiles.

END SCENE

"I cannot believe other people love things that I find disgusting" - u/DiarrheaFartLover

Exactly. Why I'll never understand why they don't cater more to this particular Reddit poster's preferences.

Okinawa is a long swim from Osaka, as golden and sweet as the fruit may be.

But when you say it's great to see them today, you may no longer be evaluating your day, but you are now evaluating how it is to see them today. And it's a lie if your true evaluation is that it is only moderately good to see them today.

You can write an article about anyone being criticized for any action because there are always a fringe minority of people or bots willing to spout anything online. The question you need to ask yourself is what emotion or action is the author of the article trying to elicit?