u/Toe2ToeBirdLaw

I can't even see you and this post alone made me think you're a creep. It probably has nothing to do with your looks.

are you looking to swing? or what is it that you're looking for?

he's dead, asshole.

we get it, you're smooth brained

He told you no. He does not consent to non monogamy. You have 2 options:

1. drop it. Forever. Unless he brings it up. Accept monogamy with him.

2. Break up and pursue non monogamy with someone else.

There is no magic third option. No is a complete sentence. You have to decide what's more important, ENM or your relationship with him? You can't have both.

It's not unreasonable but it's going to be a VERY small dating pool and probably you'll want to date people who have other partners.

One person isn't enough for people who want non monogamy. To say otherwise is silly and a bit delusional.

When has lying to anyone about your relationship status or structure been beneficial? To anyone?

are you dating monogamous women?

i've gone 25 years.

There is no entitlement 

well except to the entitlement of asking your wife to treat her other partners poorly because you're sad no one wants to fuck you. that's pretty entitled.

 I just need the needle to move a little bit

what happens if it doesn't though? what if 1, 2 or 5 years from now, you still don't have another connection?

what happens if you develop a connection and then they break up with you? is your wife always going to have to rollercoaster her relationships based on whether or not you're getting laid?

what happens if you never find another connection?

intersex people account for approximately the same percentage of the general population as natural redheads. are they also an anomaly?

that's my go to.

You're very big in the community huh? Then why do you need validation from this community? Go fucking be poly and leave us alone. We don't want your bullshit cult rhetoric in our spaces.

That was my first thought.

An open marriage is pretty much never a good idea with an infant. If he was an active and involved and GOOD father, he wouldn't even have time now to be dating.

An open marriage is also never a good idea if the intent is to fix problems in a relationship. They're just going to shine a spotlight on those issues.

Opening the marriage also won't fix a filthy lying cheater. Open relationships still have ground rules, agreements, and boundaries. There's no such thing as freedom without rules and consequences.

Can some open marriages work? Absolutely. I've been in an open polyam marriage for 24 years.

Would it work for you? Nope. Because your dude isn't a good human, partner, or father.

I know you're not poly critical but I will say that r/polycriticalsafehaven has a lot of wonderful people who have experienced the same thing and have a lot of wisdom to offer. That sub would absolutely welcome and support you even not being poly critical yourself. I'm not aware of any formal resources like books or anything on it.

I know the women who helped write the first edition of More Than Two with Franklin Veaux who turned out to be abusive have written some stuff but I have struggled in a similar way to you and not found much outside of the supportive people who have been through it.

so because your sibling was an asshole, poor people shouldn't have kids? i mean, really think about that logic for like 20 seconds.

They reconnect while working together to find him a partner.

Gross, can we please not normalize this?

condoms don't prevent the 3 STIs that are most dangerous to pregnancy and newborns - HSV, HPV, and Hepatitis.

just make sure you're pinning the blame where it belongs, on *him* - not his wife, *him*. He chose to dump you. He chose to neglect her and make her feel emotionally unsafe and/or pressure/coerce her into ENM without her full consent. He chose to be a sloppy hinge with bad relational hygiene by telling you anything about her feelings.

it sucks now, but in the long run he just gave you a whole parade of red flags and you dodged a bullet.

What life is that exactly? Do you think everyone who gets a breast reduction is in porn?

What's your cup size?

Where is your medical degree from?