u/Voldemort_Jr

"None of the people you consider to be your best friends think the same of you"

I have an Untag binder that has been amazing! Ive actually shrunk a bit so its not as tight as i want it to be, but I'm not going to bother getting a new one since I'm trying to get top surgery scheduled for the spring, but if i was getting a new one, I'd get another Untag.

Fit wise, I am a big guy, and the 8x both works well and offers good compression while still being breathable and not too hot. You'll still feel a breeze through your clothes and its not too stifling.

NTA.

I lost my father unexpectedly just over a year ago. I would give anything for a book of handwritten advice from him. Hell, I'd give anything for just one more hug. Don't second guess yourself, because life is too short, and its not morbid to be aware of your own mortality. They might think its weird now, but many years from now when you are gone someday, they will be very glad you did.

Hey, dont let you fear of lack of libido prevent you from persuing a hysterectomy! You'll want to get a partial hysterectomy, which will remove the uterus and cervix, but leave the ovaries intact. This means they will continue to produce hormones as expected which will prevent you from going into early menopause and prevent a lot of the negative health side effects associated therin, including libido drop.

As a nonbinary leaning transmasc person, getting a hysterectomy was honestly one of the most empowering and affirming things I've ever done. My uterus used to torture me, and after waking up post surgery in less pain than my usual cramps, I finally knew I hadn't been making up my pain all along.

Round about way of saying, if you want to yeet the ute, dewit! I have absolutely zero regrets, it was the best medical descicion I've ever made.

Edit: just another side thought from me - getting a hysterectomy actually increased my libido because after removing the ability to conceive, I felt safer in my body and found myself with more desire than before.

I took a peek at the discord and Norbyte did clarify that its not on hold until patch 7, but until the next hotfix to see if they make significant changes to the .exe, so after the next hotfix we'll likely get an update from Norbyte of some kind.

Discord Snip

I work in IT so its not surprising that my coworkers are a bunch of gamers and nerds, so many of mine are all playing. My direct supervisor has been playing since it came out, and we literally spend most of our bi-monthly one-on-one meetings talking about our characters in bg3, what we did for quests, etc. We've also tossed around the idea of doing 'company co-op' but scheduling is so difficult!

My Dark Urge is primarily a bard but has changed classes during the game for rp and story reasons. Level 1 and 2 I started them as a rogue with high charisma, because the quick fingers and attacks made sense for Durge. Then as they started getting to spend more time among new people and friends they found themselves being more social, hopeful, and helpful and took levels 3-6 in bard. They're horrified at their urges and are beating them down with a stick at every turn, and focusing on music helps them with that.

Then they reach act 2. After THAT Durge scene with Astarion, they're terrified of themselves, scared they're going to hurt everyone they've come to care about and so they make a Vow. They go to Withers and change their fate, making an Oath to do better, to be better, and to fight the darkness within themselves at every turn. They are now a Oath of Vengeance paladin 2 / swords bard 6 and are doing everything they can to resist their own darkness, and a big part of that is embracing their newfound love of music and art and comedy and holding onto that joy they can bring to others instead of pain.

Unfortunately my PC died this week and I'm waiting for my new one to arrive and I'll likely have to start this character over from scratch but I dont even care, I'm exited to do it all over again.

I can confirm this fix also worked for me, thank you!

I’m a huge foodie, and I have a pretty broad scope of dishes I enjoy, but I attribute this mostly to a technique of trying food my parents instilled when I was a kid.

If I was trying food for the first time, I had to have 3 bites, and if I still didn’t like it after 3 bites, I didn’t have to eat it. “The Three Bite Rule” worked because for the first bite, if I really didn’t want to eat it, I wasn’t tasting it anyway and I’d probably still hate it on principal. the second bite I might be tasting, or it might be compulsory hate. The third bite I had enough experience to actually decide if I liked something or not.

The important part was that if I did decline a food after 3 bites, my parents never pushed me to eat more, they’d just let me be done with it. I tried SO many complex and different foods with that technique and I still use it if I’m nervous about new stuff.

Now I’ll eat dishes from all variety of cultures, I can find something I’ll eat almost anywhere, and I really have a taste for fine dining and complex flavors.

Of course when I’m stressed and my executive function goes out the window I revert back to my safe foods and can barely cook, but that’s a whole nother story.

Hey, just so you know, bad DnD (or Pathfinder) is worse than no DnD (or Pathfinder). Clearly these people were not going to be the right group for you for whatever reason, and even though the method they chose was especially cruel, its probably good that you didn't end up more deeply involved with the group.

Sometimes TTRPG spaces can be really unsupportive of Neurodivergence and LGBTQ+ players, so they might have been less accepting of your autism and trans-ness than they intially let on. I also play a lot of TTRPGs and I had to start organizing my own games due to repeatedly joining games with really problematic DMs and Players who made the table an unsafe space to be anything other than a cishet neurotypical white person.

If you're looking for in person games, I'd suggest trying to find a queer friendly group locally (maybe through FB or meetups), or maybe a queer positive gaming bar or game store that you might be able to attend some games or events at.

If you're okay with playing online, you have a much wider net of friendly people to find, and you can be a little more selective with the games you join or organize. I currently have two games that I took the time to orchestrate (I'm a player in both, not the DM) and everyone is friendly, understanding, supportive, and kind because those are only the kinds of people I accepted when interviewing for players and DMs.

I wish you luck in finding a friendly and supportive game. I do wish the world would try to be nicer to those who aren't the same as everyone else, but we've still got a long road to walk on that front. It might take some time, but I think you'll find a group someday where the people in that group treat you with the care and respect you deserve as their friend. Real friends will accept and embrace your differences as part of who you are and not make you feel small for having them, and you deserve to spend your time with real friends, not strangers.

ESH but only because you're communicating like a neurotypical to someone who is autistic, and then getting frustrated when she's not picking up your 'hints'.

I'm an autistic adult, and I've definitely had this frustration with my roommate in the past as well when he would say vague things like "oh the trash is full" or "The bathroom is getting messy" or "there's a lot of dishes in the sink". These things are facts but they are not direct requests, so my response to these would just be "yes, the trash is full/bathroom is messy/there are dishes in the sink" because nothing was actually asked of me.

If you need her to be taking out the trash more often, or doing other chores, you just need to communicate clearly and directly with her. Something like "Hey roomie, we agreed that it was your responsibility to take the trash out, so please take the trash out x number of times per week or on mondays and thursdays". She may also have some 'clutter blindness' and so occasional but direct reminders might be helpful for her. Saying "Hey, the trash is full, please take it out" may work, but just saying "Hey, the trash is full" will not prompt action.

If she continues to disregard this agreed upon chore after you have a direct and honest discussion with her where you clearly lay out your needs and your request of her, then she becomes the asshole. However if you're just trying to hint at your needs to her, she will not do what you need because she does not communicate that way.

As an autistic person, I need direct and clear communication, and no amount of hints will ever get me to take action, because its just not the way my brain works. However, I dont like making people uncomfortable, and if I'm made aware of something I need to do to help someone I care about, I'm happy to do the thing, and usually very sorry that I didnt realize it needed to be done before I was told.

Be direct with your communication and you will likely get a much more favorable response from your roomie. If you're very direct and she's still being obtuse, then she's definitely the asshole.

Non DB related advice: you should probably delete this post/account as it could be used to deny permanent resident status later if it is discovered that you were entering the marriage 'fraudulently' (aka not being in love but not wanting to be deported) to aquire perm residency. As difficult as your DB may be, don't post about this legal aspect of it or it might come back to bite you in the butt.

He's adorable. I highly recommend a golden retriever himbo fighter for any wacky fey themed rp heavy campaign where everyone wanted to be a caster :D

I definitely have the immediate reaction of "A DMPC is a toxic NPC insert to the party who steals the other player's thunder" when I hear the term, and I've seen that kind of DMPC before.

I also have a very much beloved DMNPC in one of my current games. All the players made very squishy casters, and our DM would rather everyone play something they enjoy than make someone play a martial just so we have someone who can tank. So they gave us a big strong hot Shifter guy to come in and help us bonk things and for my bard to flirt with and to carry the bags and now all the players love him too (not just my bard). He's not the smartest guy in the room (thats definitely the wizard) and he doesnt usually pipe up in RP conversation unless we ask him something.

As a party we're not obligated to keep him around, but he is helpful and a good addition to the rag tag group, and has also bonded with all the player characters in the game so we do take care of him and keep him alive like a PC and our Wizard's player runs his statblock during combat. He filled the gap in our party that was really missing when we started and the DM is very careful to make sure he never steals the parties thunder. And all that which I just described is not what I consider a DMPC. Yeah he's statted, yeah he's leveled and levels up with us, but he's not out there doing the things the other PCs are good at doing, he's just great at doing what we're not: being big and strong and hitting things with a sword.

We even have a newish player who came in as our new frontline, and the Shifter guy is the opposite of a toxic dude bro, he's very excited (in character) to have a Paladin in the party so he has someone to work out and spar with and talk to while the Wizard and the Bard are talking about magical theories. The Paladin is fresh out of training so the character and the player are both thankful to have someone who knows how to bonk around to help them (they usually main casters). We love our DMNPC and he's definitely not a DMPC.

I actually still have one that I was gifted brand new when they came out! Its not a great minifridge, but it'll chill some cans and it looks pretty cute. My roommate did help me replace the cooling chip in the back, and since then its been working like a charm :)