u/abigreenlizard

It's like New York: if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere!

If you ask nicely in the forums or IRC, maybe someone will share their seeding torrents with you. They can SCP the data to your server, then you download the torrent file and add it to your client. If they have recent stuff it could help get you back in the black.

EDIT: nvm, missed that you don't have site access at all.

Yeah I felt this is a bit harsh. Given the relatively long seeding rules I'd imagine users with any sort of automation will be vulnerable to outages getting them banned! I copped a couple HnR warnings when I accidentally exceeded my seedbox bandwidth limit for the month and had my client turned off for a few days. I got it sorted but it's annoying to have it on my permanent record, first time I've had a warning on any private tracker.

It might be a while, just wait. There's a thread on RED with folks wondering if their application got denied, most seem to get a reply after 3-6 weeks.

Sounds like we should update the phrase "worth it's weight in gold crack"

What hardware are you running for the NAS? I'm looking into setting one up, was considering one of the QNAP boxes

Of course I only have the information presented in the OP - I'm assuming that OP is a basically competent dev that should be well able to pick up new languages and frameworks.

70k should be achievable right now with your YOE. If you want to flesh out your skillset I'd consider adding some backend technologies and positioning yourself as "full stack".

lmao

"Ask your friends for an invite"

Worked a summer in the Swiss alps during college and have been gagging to emigrate there since. Its been on my mind again lately, do you have any resources or helpful links you can share?

Make it to the 1 year mark if you can imo. 1 year is experience that can be leveraged, 7 months is "you finished onboarding then left".

Too right, so many bootlickers gaslight themselves into believing that employer/employee isn't an inherently adversarial relationship.

You're welcome. TMI is a huge book but you only need to read up to the stage you are practicing at, so don't be intimidated by its size! If you do pick it up you can read just as far as stage 2 to begin with.

Wishing you great success in your practice.

beginner instructions:

The main practice I use for beginning the process of unifying the mind (relaxing/calming/stilling) is a combination of deep belly breathing and breath counting. The deep belly breathing w/ elongated exhale triggers a physiological relaxation response, slowing the heart rate and respiratory system (see below for a link to guided meditation that explains the technique). The breath counting occupies the conceptual mind and gives it something to do, while remaining fairly low stimulation (the goal here is to reach a place where we are calm and relaxed with minimal external stimulation).

For the breathing: Ideally we'll reach an in-breath duration of 10s, and an out-breath duration of 30s. Breath in through the nose by pulling the diaphragm inwards and up, then breath out by relaxing and letting go of the diaphragm, letting it naturally return to its relaxed position. On each out breath, try to slightly extend the duration (comfortably, don't strain!). It may take several minutes to of repeating this until a duration of 30s is reached.

For the breath counting: on the in-breath say (either aloud or just thinking) "one", on the out-breath say "one", then increment the count for the next breath. If you reach 10, forget the count, or miss a breath, then start again at 1.

I've found pairing these to be very effective, calm mind follows calm body, and calm body follows calm mind. Working from both angles at the same time synergises well. Beginning with 10-15 mins per day, preferably in a formal seated posture with erect spine, would be an excellent start. Ideally one would work up to sessions of 45mins+, but it's totally OK if it takes some time to build up to that. Far more important to enjoy practicing and avoid cultivating aversion than sit for herculean lengths of time 😊

Another addition is to add some light scanning for muscular tension, say once every 5 breaths (approximately, no need to stress about being precise here). Wherever you find some tension, take a moment to consciously relax those muscles.

here's a guided meditation going through the breathing technique: https://youtu.be/XCYCpdTkZ3M

I'd recommend picking up the book The Mind Illuminated by Culadasa. It's coming from a Buddhist context but it's not really a Buddhist book, more like an instructional manual for meditation. That really covers everything, and can support you from absolute beginner all the way into the advanced territory.

I've dabbled with teaching some friends here and there and have some basic instructions cobbled together, I can send those on to you too. Let me dig em out and I'll post in a separate comment.

Right, ok. I do think I know a solution, but it's neither quick nor easy I'm afraid. A robust, daily meditation practice can eventually help you to make peace with this sense of being observed, but it can be quite a large project.

Ok no worries, maybe something you can ponder over a walk and see if anything comes up.

It sounded to me like the main issue is that you don't know when he's suddenly going to interrupt you, which means that you are always "preparing" to be interrupted, i.e., anxious and distracted. So, let's say he was there, but you knew with absolute certainty that he will, under no no circumstances, interrupt you. Do you think that would make a big difference?

If he would agree to anything you asked (bar being out of the space), and you could feel sure he wouldn't get triggered, what would you ask him to do to accommodate you?

Sorry, that's a tough spot alright. Certainly worth inquiring about rooms in the library though, sometimes they do have meeting rooms spaces that could work for you.

Otherwise, I can't really think of any way to have him not be physically present in the space. Hypothetically, if we assume that you can say anything and he won't get triggered, can you think of any ways you can work together to make his presence less disruptive? Maybe he could always text when he's leaving work so you don't feel blind-sided, you could have a big pair of headphones and a sign on your desk that means "I'm working, no talking" etc.

I just saw that you're in a small space - short of going for a long walk to keep himself out of the house what do you think he could reasonably do? Even if the topic can be broached without triggering him, I don't think it's really a fair request to ask him to stay out of his own home while you work.

You probably looked into this already, but local libraries often have work spaces you can use, do you think that could be an option? Or in the medium-term, maybe moving to a place with at least 2 decent rooms where you can have one to yourself when working?

Not trying to be a dick, but if you can't communicate your needs to your partner then you have bigger problems than him coming home early sometimes. Being able to discuss this sort of thing is kinda mission critical ime

red is a tough nut, the only way I managed to make buffer was by renting a high-end seedbox and racing new flacs. I will say that worked very well (500gb up in like 3 days), but it's a whole thing haha

definitely something to consider, I started as an adult with similar issues and have found it very helpful

Are you taking medication? I can focus far better on my hobbies while medicated, making for more satisfying recreational time. Unmedicated I'd often bounce around as you say and feel unfulfilled cos I wasn't making good use of my time.

A meditation practice could also be helpful here, it can help you come to terms with the unsatisfactoriness of things generally.

then my brain reminds me that I will only do this once.

can you unpack this, wdym?