u/broiledfog

Xanadu

^{I rolled X}

You would literally be the most attractive woman in most rooms. What are you worried about? Your weight is fine. If you’re not comfortable with your body, fair enough, but I’m left wondering: what exactly is it holding you back from?

Tim

A locksmith with the shakes

Sorry Steve

^{I rolled A cactus named Steve}

I’ll trade someone for the third

^{Rolled: Triforce of Courage: No | Triforce of Wisdom: Yes | Triforce of Power: Yes}

I got this

^{Rolled: Weapon: Sword | Country you are in when it started: Austria | How injured are you?: Fracture | How many zombies do you have to fight: 89403}

A dead horse

USSR

USSR

Don’t buy a Jamie Oliver cookbook - it’s all “a generous drizzle of red wine vinegar”, “a glug of olive oil” or “a handful of fresh basil leaves”

Yeah nah

^{I rolled You get: A blender · You give: 3 days of digging a trench}

Thanks for recognising all my hard work!

^{I rolled You look like a well-rested toddler}

Carol Danvers’ secret identity is Captain Marvel, so either way you’re good.

Zzzax

Hitler - he was on the cover of Captain America #1 (1941)

^{I rolled H}

Ethiopia?

^{I rolled Sudan}

The power of Death.

^{Chose: You have a superpower | Rolled: Death.}

Hmmm there is such a thing as too much fun. I think I’ll pass.

^{I rolled Gender: A sentient cloud of glitter · Head: A toaster with bagel inside · Body: A suit of armor · Superpower: Mind reading only your own thoughts}

Im more concerned about what this person spun to wind up with me.

^{I rolled female · ten good hard earned bucks · beautifully average · Kind and good natured}

Sorry Rick, you rolled me for the last time.

^{💋 Kiss Dad · 😍 Marry Trans Women · 🔫 Kill Rick Astley}

You are so dumb. Everyone knows not to pick scissors

^{I rolled Your move: Rock · My move: Scissors}

Weak force = weak sauce

^{Chose: You get the force | Rolled: You are weak}

Who wouldn’t want a massage?

^{Chose: Massage by a gay guy}