u/cemetrygates-3

It’s so lovely, I love the colors and the details on the bird :)

I like the second one. What I like about it is the colors feels more cohesive and intentional, the first one is more regular colors and the second one is a bit more dreamy

I relate to your experiences a lot. I got issues a bit later than you, at 19 years old. I had just started uni a year ago but I couldn’t keep up and had to move back home with my parents. I felt like my life was over, I could barely leave the house, walk, i couldn’t sit down. I couldn’t study, do any hobbies, I lost many friends, I couldn’t live by myself and be independent. I was pretty much only inside and didn’t have anything to do, I felt like I and my life didn’t matter. I was depressed and didn’t want to be alive, the thing keeping me going was the hope that it could get better and my family.

2 years went by, where I got diagnosed and started trying medications. I went through humira, enbrel and rinvoq (3 just like you). Some of them worked a bit and I felt hopeful at times but I was still very limited.

Then I tried cosentyx and it have truly changed my life. I still have struggles and limitations but it’s enough to have a life that doesn’t cause me lot of pain. I can keep up with uni, friends, go places, do things, I’m grateful for this freedom.

How to cope mentally: honestly, for me and it might be different for others, I don’t think I would be alright without a working biologic. I didn’t give up and I kept waiting, but I couldn’t get better than that mentally. But I knew that there still was a possibility that I would get better, that’s why I didn’t want to give up yet. But I didn’t figured out how to live a happy life with 8/10 pain.

I still grieve the life I had and the person I was before. It was traumatic and my mental health is worse now, I’m not as strong mentally and struggle with depression, anxiety, panic attacks. I still have flareups and things i can’t do and it’s a bit suffocating to think that this is it. But I also have things outside of that, thing I love to do, people I love and who loves me, and a place in the world. I hate AS but it’s not my whole world. And that’s one thing that made it so hard before: that I never got a break. With most issues in life you usually have a safe place, but literally no place with AS is that because you can’t leave your body.

(I’m also 22 now and have been on cosentyx for 10 months, so I’m still figuring out this new phase of AS. And I would say my pain on most days is 2/10 (if I stay within my limits) and during flares it’s 3-7/10)

I wish you the best, wait and hope ❤️

Thank you so much. I hope that things will be easier for you as well

Thank you, I’m glad you appreciated it

Thank you, it means a lot

Thank you so much

That’s so kind of you, thanks!

Since September I’ve gotten three flues and the flares last for 3-4 WEEKS. I literally got a 1 week break between my last flare and my current one. I’m honestly mad, give me a break PLEASE

I believe if someone loves you they will accept your illness. I met my boyfriend a few months ago and I’ve never felt like my AS have been too much for him. He’s seen me struggling to walk, having panic attacks over flares, listening to me reading my dairy when I was without medication and deeply depressed, take walking breaks with me bc i can’t be still too long, cry over how much I hate AS etc. I’m definitely not fun then, more like a burden, but it haven’t strained our relationship. When you love someone you love their whole person, not just as someone to make yourself feel better, and that makes you want to be there for them because love isn’t purely transactional, it’s also about truly caring for them as a part of yourself.

I met him irl and I told him after a few days of knowing him and he said it doesn’t make him see me differently, that I’m still the most interesting person he’s met, that he wants to help me, that it makes me more beautiful because I’ve been strong going through it all.

I’m writing this because I want to tell you that it is absolutely possible when someone really love you. And that you shouldn’t settle for someone who makes you feel like you are burdening them. It’s common to feel like your illness is a problem to others and as a result accept people who isn’t empathetic and who makes you feel bad because you feel like you deserve it.

Good luck and once again for the right person your illness won’t matter

What kind of pain meds where there? I think you should tell her, you seem to be worried that she won’t believe that they were stolen, but if she’s a good doctor she should believe you, and this is a one time thing for you which makes it more believable. You should also consider contacting the police, it might ”feel wrong” to do so on a family member, but they have done wrong by stealing your medication. You have a right to do so. And it may make it more trustworthy for your doctor

Thank you! Back then (at my worst) I walked 2000-3000 steps a day

For me being sick is hell. The process of having a flu or cold is like the average person, but afterwards all my AS symptoms comes back for like a month. So I’m very careful, but not because flus/colds are more adverse

I love the motif

For me it’s that way, I take both biologics and NSAIDs. I would manage on a biologic alone, but I’m in almost remission with NSAIDs

400$ a year is the maximum you pay for medication in Sweden.

Do you know how long would you be off the biologic?

When my inflammation was really bad (without biologics), I too was worse with movement. My first doctor didn’t want to diagnose me bc of that.

Now on a biologics, with quite low levels of inflammation, I need to be moving frequently otherwise I get stiff and painful. Movement in moderate doses don’t hurt anymore

I love it, beautiful colors

I’m the opposite, usually my symptoms are in remission but being ill send me into week long flares