u/eadderly

Not the person you replied to, but I did almost the exact same thing as a teenager, down to a fake Myspace page and fabricating a family, siblings' names, interests, etc. I was using pictures of a girl I went to school with who looked older, for the record.

There was no real "why", I was just 13 and bored. It was fun to have attention lavished on me. I never got anyone to give me free stuff, I figured that would be crossing a line.

Be careful about this if she seems to have really small hands, though. When I went ring shopping with my ex, we found out that not only did no stores carry my size (3.5), very few of them even carried rings that could be sized down to my size without losing their structural integrity. I believe they suggested two or three sizes up or down was the max for most settings.

Because "nice" is the best positive trait that they can come up with to describe themselves?

If you're just nice, not interesting or funny, with a cool outlook on life - what exactly are you offering others?

Didn't work out well in part because I go to bars a lot and he couldn't come with. Also, he was 19, but he was friends with a lot of people in high school. That was... awkward.

If I had like an hour long coffee date with someone and they tried to kiss me I would probably be weirded out.

Bus fare. I've only done this once; I was stuck in a part of my city I don't normally go to because a friend drove me there and I didn't want them driving me back. I don't usually take the bus so I didn't have cash. They have credit card machines but I was 16 or 17 and didn't have a card.

Personally, I thinking calling someone else your "soulmate" even remotely seriously in conversation with an SO is inappropriate, regardless of who it is. It would be just as inappropriate if she were saying it about a female friend. There are certain boundaries you just don't cross.

Also, for what it's worth, I agree with you regarding sleeping in the same bed. I have a gay best friend, too. We've known each other for twelve years; we grew up together. There are things I just don't do with him when I'm in a relationship. Sharing a bed would definitely be one. It sounds like she agreed with you when asked her not to do that, so that's fine. If you want to preserve this relationship, I would tell her, in a similar fashion, that referring to her friend as her "soulmate" makes you uncomfortable and you feel that it's disrespectful.

You have to set the boundaries you feel comfortable with; no two relationships are the same.

I actually just say "I'm sorry, I lied" or, if it's something like that, "I exaggerated, I haven't taken German since high school". It very, very rarely happens since I've gotten it down to only lying to complete strangers (customers, people at the bar, whatever) and my close friends, who absolutely know I'm lying and just roll their eyes and move on.

edit: I just realized that it's probably important to note that when I was younger and before I acknowledged the problem and spoke with someone about it, I would either lie again to cover it up (because I was embarrassed) or get defensive. Often I'd say "no, I never said that, you must have misheard me" or "what I really meant to say was...".

Your girlfriend might be a pathological liar. I am one. I typically lie about things that I technically could be caught in, but are essentially meaningless, like the examples you listed. I also strongly exaggerate preferences in whatever way suits me at the time, like your example with her "hating" chicken. I've "hated" mushrooms one day and eaten them on a pizza the next.

I've been doing this since I was a child. The reason it's so easy to catch her in these is that she's not actually working to "maintain" the lie. It's a one-off thing. If I tell someone I majored in biology one day, I'm not going to follow up by reading a bio textbook in front of them the next. I'm more likely to sheepishly admit that I'm terrible with science and confuse them.

If it helps you at all, I'm actually not a dishonest person in ways that count. For instance, I'd never cheat, and I'm honest to a fault when it comes to communicating my feelings. They're just incredibly bizarre lies, like that I speak German or that I've been to Mexico or whatever.

I have worked with a therapist for it and there are a couple of things they suggested - meeting new people and forcing myself not to say anything untruthful to them was one. Recanting old lies was another, like, I had to tell my best friend that what I'd told her about my ethnic origins seven years ago when we first met was a lie. The thing is, to get help, she's probably going to have to acknowledge what she's actually doing (took me 20 years to do this) and want that help in the first place.

Wait, what? She said she wasn't ready to date. So, that's indicating to me that you... aren't dating, definitely not exclusively.

If she accused you of "seeing other women" that's weird as hell and it sounds like you guys need to talk about what exactly you're doing and what your expectations are.

Definitely. Contacted my ex after we broke things off, repeatedly, ended up crying at a party at his house, made all kinds of scenes. Ugh. You couldn't pay me enough to be 19-20 again.

No it's pretty nuts. I have a friend who works in a Lego store and steals them for people.

I've been seeing a guy who's 6'7. I'm 5'4. If I ever wanted to actually kiss him standing up I'd have to get on a chair or something.

Dark brown/black. My reasoning is about the same as yours; most of my family is blonde. I'm also not attracted to redheaded guys despite being a redhead myself.

Any.. of them? I mean, maybe don't go to Chuck E. Cheese, but I can't imagine letting being alone hinder you from having fun. That would be so shitty.

A really negative/sarcastic/self-deprecating sense of humor.

Christmas is more or less a cultural thing for many people. Anyway, why would you pass up the chance for presents and food and alcohol?

Yeah, pretty sure if there was actually a survey conducted like this, women would guess more or less correctly.

There's also the possibility we just don't care.

I think you need some examples or something, sorry. Are you saying that the women in this survey would be asked what they believe men find physically attractive?

Because I think most women have a pretty good idea. It doesn't necessarily align with what they believe is attractive in themselves/other women.

I know I'm not fat, the compliment didn't make me think fat, it made me think they were complimenting me because I look... fertile? Ew. I would just choose another word if you're ever trying to express this sentiment. Or not say anything. That's always a fantastic route.

It's the word "childbearing" that makes it one - it's just a gross word/concept. I'm sure "curvy" or whatever is fine. As long as you actually have a good relationship, this was also a near-stranger.

"Childbearing" is about the furthest way from describing big hips in a flattering way that I can imagine (and, again, I don't even have them).

Protip: don't reference a woman's possible fertility in a compliment. I don't think I've ever been that turned off that quickly.

You have childbearing hips.

Thank you. No, I don't.

Usually for me it's talking about some kind of really cool interest or hobby. Like, if he's an artist or musician, something like that.

Have you ever been to animal shelter? There are a shitton of puppies and a lot of really well-behaved, sweet adult dogs who are already house broken.