u/guilty_by_design

My anxiety is daily, lmao, and has been since I was around 8 or 9. I've been in inpatient, battled alchoholism, tried multiple anti-anxiety meds.

Unfortunately, I also have hEDS (a genetic connective tissue disorder that causes me daily chronic pain and fatigue due to my joints constantly dislocating and causing tears in my muscles and ligaments, as well as 4 herniated discs, arthritis in my back, jaw, and elsewhere, a permanently frozen shoulder and hip, and needing multiple surgeries, had 8 teeth pulled) and MCAS (a mast cell disorder which means I can have an allergic reaction and anaphylaxis at any time, and have constant issues with my digestive system, respitory system, migraines, random hives and flushes, etc), and some issues with aortic valve regurgitation in my heart. And then some.

Sorry to dump on you but right now I have been bedridden for weeks with an excruciating flare-up, and the closest doctor who specializes in my 'rare condition' (EDS) is 3 hours away with an 8-month waiting list. I use a cane, leg braces, a shower stool, etc, and haven't been able to leave my house in over 2 months due to my back locking up so bad I scream just from trying to sit up. Oh, and I randomly had an anaphylactic reaction to a new pain med and had to go to the ER just weeks ago.

I implore you to think twice about saying careless things like "you're lucky" about someone you know nothing about. This kinda thing really stings when I'm struggling against SI daily because my quality of life is so poor right now. Believe me, if I thought I could up my dose or refill more frequently without being flagged as a potential substance abuser, I would, but I can't even get a muscle relaxer or gabapentin or celecoxib (an NSAID like aspirin) without being side-eyed, even when I'm in agony. I'm on ZERO strong pain meds. Would you like to tell me I'm lucky for that, too?

If I may - perhaps YOU'RE the lucky one to have not considered any of that when deciding to snark at me for taking an infrequent, low-dose anti-anxiety medication.

Haha, that comment was from 3 years ago, wow. I'm happy to report that I'm still on it and it's still working well for me. The medication is Vyvanse (generic: Lisdexamfetamine). I started at 30mg and went up to 50mg in the first year, and I'm still on 50mg now. Of course, just because it worked well for me doesn't mean it's the right fit for every person with ADHD. But it certainly worked wonders for me, personally.

Sigh. Okay, fine. I suppose honour dictates that it must be so. Put 'em up, champ!

Not the reply I was expecting, but honestly, respect to you for that. Anonymity makes it easier to forget the human on the other end for sure. Not sure why another commenter (deleted now?) seemed to suggest I was going to try to beat you up over it. To coin a Gen-Z-ism, it's not that deep, lol. It's all good.

I haven't posted on Reddit in almost a year, but I'm not going to let that bullshit fly, amigo. u/arealscrog is my wife, she's been an artist for as long as I've known her, and she is vehemently anti-AI (as am I). I watched her make this in real time and encouraged her to post it, and it honestly pisses me off that you threw a mean-spirited AI accusation at her over sharing a graphic with the community in solidarity with protesters.

I would actually love to know why you thought that was a helpful or kind thing to do. You basically said "If this is AI, that's why it's shit, and if it's not, you're a shitty artist". People like you are what stops people from sharing the things that they're passionate about with their community. What the hell is wrong with you?

Sorry to be a bother but I have been sick over this for days and I don't know how else to proceed.

I received a warning on my account for 'homophobic hate speech' that I tried to appeal, but when I tried to submit the appeal nothing happened. My text stayed on the page and nothing said it had sent. I've waited a couple of days but heard nothing.

Context: I, a gay person, had commented on a post about a disgustingly homophobic church telling its members to off themselves - I sarcastically summed up their stance in a 'wow, they're really saying this?' way. I used quotation marks to indicate that I was paraphrasing them, of course not saying it myself(!), and I figured that my over-the-top delivery would make it clear that I was criticising the church's attack on LGBTQ+ people, not being hateful towards my own community.

I've felt sick ever since I got the warning on my account. Obviously, I'll know not to make sarcastic comments like that again. It sucks to think that someone reported it and that an admin presumably looked at it and thought I was using hate speech, and I would feel a lot better if I knew that someone is going to take a look at my appeal - but I have no idea if it even went though.

A glance at my Reddit history should hopefully indicate that I am NOT the kind of person to say hateful things about ANY minority! If it's just a case of 'wait a bit longer and someone will get to it', that's fine. I'm just feeling awful right now thinking of my account having a hate speech warning on it when I am gay myself and would never attack my community, or any marginalised group, like that. Thank you for your time and have a great day.

I don't know where you're living but depending on that it could be very difficult or even impossible to be stealth at school. With teachers in many places not being allowed to use any names/pronouns different from what's on your entry forms and with the issues around bathrooms and locker rooms (another issue if you're pre-T), you will probably be outed. That might make things dangerous or at least difficult for you, so please be careful. You're only 15 and if you're not on T you may not be able to stay stealth anyway, even if you pass now (which is honestly borderline, although you have amazing potential).

And ffs give up that filthy habit. Smoking will make everything harder in the long run. If you want top surgery eventually, or even if you just want to bind, that may not be an option if you damage your lungs.

I love that 'Alex' is the example here, because that's my name too.

However, I legally shortened my name from Alexandra to Alex, and nobody ever questions that despite it being no different from me picking a completely different name. I do occasionally get 'is that short for something?' for official stuff, but I've been known as 'Alex' my entire life anyway. It would have been bizarre for anyone to ask what my 'real name' was back then, and it would be bizarre now.

If they could accept that my name is Alex because that is what I use and go by, whether it's legally my name or not (and it is now), I don't get why it's so different for someone who changed their name more drastically.

It's a point-of-view video (done wrong, of course, because it should be shot from the POV of the person it's about, but that's another rant...), so I'm assuming this guy (thankfully) doesn't have any kids. So he's saying "Me in the future when my hypothetical 7-year-old says [he] wants to be a boy."

The far worse option is that he already has a daughter and this is how he plans to react if that 'daughter' says he's a boy.

Either way, it's basically this knobhead saying that if his future (or older) kid turns out to be trans, this is how he'll react.

Eyy, I know this is besides the point, but as someone who struggled with alcoholism in the past as well, it's awesome that you're recovering and that this latest rough patch didn't spiral you into harmful drinking again, even when your confidence was knocked so badly. Well done. That's worthy of celebration.

You don't need to measure/track seasonings for the most part, but definitely be sure to track butter (and oil). I had no idea how many extra calories I was ingesting in just butter, oil and the milk in my tea and coffee until I tracked it one day. It was adding on around 300!

Also, as others have said, be mindful about what's going in the smoothie. Fruits especially can quickly rack up the calories due to their sugariness. I love a good smoothie, but it's so easy to lose track of how many calories are in there after you've blended everything to a pulp. I made one once that I calculated, after the fact, to be around 600 calories in total for the two and a half glasses it filled. That's 240 per glass. Fine if that's my whole breakfast. Not so great if it's just the drink I'm having alongside my brekkie, or as a dessert after a whole meal.

In the end, no matter what you eat, tracking is going to be your friend. Otherwise you'll never be sure what you're ingesting if you're also including smoothies, snacks and certain seasonings (butter/oil/sauces etc) in unmeasured quantities. Even if your 'main meal' stays the same.

It doesn't have to be hard. I have ADHD, so I didn't think I'd be able to stay on top of tracking. But the app I use lets me scan almost anything in by its barcode, or add it with a quick search, and once it's there, it knows when something is a recent food or even which meal it's usually part of, so I can add it to my log super fast. I have a few easy meals I cycle between, and logging them literally takes less than a minute each time. You can even add an entire 'recipe' if you always make it the same way, so you don't have to add individual ingredients each time. Then you can just log it by serving size.

I've tried to just wing it without tracking before, but I always slip up by not realizing the extra calories that are slipping in and because eyeballing a portion size is hard. If you're actively trying to lose weight, by far the easiest way is to calculate your daily allowance to be eating at a deficit (but not too large of one), and then track your foods to stay under it.

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If you want to change, then you already know what you need to do. You need to work on yourself, intensively, and make that change happen. Even if you had the best support system in the world, the only person who can change you... is you.

I was lucky enough to get into an intensive DBT course run by a university, so it was cheap (a lot of medical/psych schools have these programs and they are way cheaper than other DBT courses). I chose to be there, but there were also people there who had been court-ordered to attend... and they struggled to make progress because they didn't want to be there.

It is hard to do the necessary work. It took a good three months for it to start to feel like it was making a difference, and I would cry on the way there and the way home. But by the end, it had changed my life so much that I cried on my last day because I didn't want to leave. I have been in remission for 10 years now. Recovery is fucking tough, but it is doable.

So, what do you do? You stop seeing an enabling therapist, for a start, and try to find a DBT-informed therapist who works with people with BPD. You try to find an in-person course, and if there's none available, you start using DBT workbooks by yourself and set aside time every day to work on them. In the meanwhile, you don't get involved with anyone new and you focus exclusively on your own journey. You absolutely do NOT 'take yourself out', because you deserve to get better and live a good life.

It is true that what we may do to others is unacceptable, and it's great that you're self-aware enough to accept and own that. But it is also not okay what we do to ourselves. And unlike other people who we may hurt, we can't leave ourselves, we're stuck with ourselves forever. So we have to do our damned best to make this headspace livable for ourselves before we even think about having relationships with others.

You're at a crossroads. You know what you have to do and you know it's going to be hard, but it will also be the most rewarding thing you ever do. It's time to get started.

able-bodied neurotypical middle-class or higher non-immigrant (or wealthy immigrant) cishet white man*

I take 100mg as needed for RLS at night and occasionally during the day for the nerve pain/parasthesia (numbness/tingling) in my back and legs from my hypermobility condition. I can't say I've ever felt any mood changes, but it's a low-ish dose.

Please be careful. It's good that you recognise you're abusing your meds, but if you still continue that way, you'll cause yourself some serious and irreversible damage. You may be enjoying the feeling, but if you're aware that it's not good for you and you do it whenever you're upset, it sounds like it could be a form of self-harm.

Looking it up, "Flush Fall" looks like it could be a local event (many events apparently exist or have existed by that name). Maybe you (or someone else) is/was being invited to an event by that name? Like, "I want YOU to come to this event with me!" in the form of a puzzle.

That's the most benign answer, anyway. Hopefully it's just that.

It bothers me that the 2nd and 3rd 'flags' are aligned so poorly that it's obvious they're just two flags poorly stacked on top of each other.

I'm bi and I don't care what's between someone's legs. I've identified as bi for decades now and I'm not going to suddenly call myself pan just because someone decided to add stipulations to being bi. Your definition of bi excludes me, a person who has identified as bi for more than 25 years, and that's the kind of problem we're talking about here.

There have been multiple news stories lately about prisoners escaping and then getting caught again. Whether they're free for a few hours or a few weeks, they're now looking at even harsher treatment and no chance of ever getting out again.

What's better? Completing your sentence, as fucked up and unfair as it may be, or escaping for a short time, having to stay hidden, unable to trust anyone, no access to your own bank account, having to commit more crimes just to get work etc, and then getting recaptured anyway and punished even worse?

"Just assume a stolen identity" lmao you're a dork.

I don't think it's true that it doesn't show until early adulthood. It is not diagnosed until then only because it can be hard to tell adolescent behaviour and mood difficulties from a PD until it persists into adulthood.

I had many of my symptoms as a child, worsening as a teenager. It wasn't like my BPD suddenly appeared when I turned 18. It was the fact that it didn't improve (and any many ways continued to get worse) that led to my eventual diagnosis.

That said, even if a diagnosis can't be made effectively until adulthood, it would still be helpful IMO to offer DBT skills in an age-appropriate form to children and teenagers showing early signs. Even kids without eventual BPD diagnoses could likely benefit from learning skills that help with emotional regulation and crisis management. We are essentially helping that 'inner child' to self-regulate when we do DBT as adults, so why not start early?

(Of course, many children are not in a situation where this would be possible, as it is dysfunctional childhoods that usually contribute to BPD in the first place.)

I think that pride and awareness are two different things, tbh.

Pride is for the people within the community to come together and form connections, support each other, and celebrate our achievements in the face of adversity.

Awareness is for non-disabled people to learn about the existence of disabilities and how to help accommodate and understand disabled people, as well as providing information and resources to newly disabled people and people who may not realize they have a disability (or know what it is).

Both are important; we need both. Disability Pride and Awareness Month is a bit of a mouthful though, lol.

This is a good sentiment at heart, but a lot of the time people feel suicidal because they don't have anyone they could call a 'friend or loved one'.

When I was at my lowest and people would say what you just said, all it did was a) remind me that most people do have people who would care they were gone and I didn't, and b) that the only reason to stay alive is for loved ones, and since I had none, there was no reason to stay alive.

You might think "everyone has someone who would care if they were gone", but that isn't true. At one time in my life I literally had no friends OR family. I was 100% on my own. But even if there is someone, a suicidal person may honestly believe that person hates them, or that the person would be better off without them.

So... don't say this to a suicidal person. Especially when you have no idea if they have friends or loved ones and you might be digging the knife in by reminding them that most people do and they don't.