u/newbies13

Even if he's technically not the person in charge right now, you fundamentally understand the point being made, right? That the employee should take it up with current leadership, Bezos being shorthand and well understood for that role. Like are you trying to be part of the conversation or just the village idiot in the back shouting things?

I mean yes the silly video is clearly meant for entertainment and was staged... the conversation around the behavior being acted out is still real. Sorry you don't like the person your husband became. If you're willing a good couples therapist would be able to give you a less biased opinion, though the level of resentment may simply be too much at this point.

I mean it's probably the whole what do the sexes care about thing showing up in different ways.

Partner cheats...

Men ask did you have sex with them?
Women ask do you love them?

Now the two subs line up pretty well.

I have no idea how anyone tolerates any kind of work husband/wife talk. The level of minimizing disrespect is just bananas to me. I've never had it happen, but that would be one very serious discussion and an immediate exit after that.

She likes your attention, she doesn't like you. That's literally what "I don't want to put a label on it" means.

If you want to keep using each other for that fuzzy middle area, you can. But on your side you need to course correct hard because you wanted exclusive, she said not right now. If you can't live like that, don't force yourself to try.

Whatever was happening at the bar doesn't matter in a lot of ways, emotionally that sucks for you of course... but this is what people talk about when they say "when a person tells you who they are believe them"... textbook perfect example.

That moment is hilariously accidentally deep because it hits the exact fault line in communication between men and women. 100% they were on break, there was no technical problem with anything that happened. But also, emotionally, bro... brooooooo.... you have to side with the ladies at least a little... except... she started the break, so to me, I acknowledge that felt bad for you, but you dug the hole, pushed me into it, and we were on a break.

You are wrong to feel betrayed by it. You two are not together, you have no say over what she does or with who.... that's what a break is... wait until you realize the other guy is almost certainly the cause of her wanting a break to begin with, that this started when you were still together...

In the future when a woman asks for a break, tell her no. We're together or we're not, pick a lane.

Dump the girl, this isn't a dumb problem... cheating is a brain wiring thing. If you can cheat, you're not doing one thing, you're doing 100 little things and ignoring every chance to stop yourself.

Dumb would have been dumping you, dating the other guy for a week, then trying to come back. That's dumb. She's heartless. Lots of women have cool dads, don't waste any more time on this one.

You have been together 4 years, but don't live together??? You're not partners, you're a situationship with extra DLC packs installed. Thats why she's confused about your need for her to react as if you're serious.

That's really all I see here, like the amazing love story has never been tested, clearly, and failed spectacularly when it was.

Otherwise obviously you're not being unreasonable at all, basic human decency makes the path neon glow in the dark here.

Hahah I have absolutely date women and thought over and over "I really want out of this" but then she ... looks really good, or says something ego stroking, or does one of the little things that create actual affection, and another day in the books... but it never works out, and thats another day wasted on a person rather than invested in a person.

I wouldn't say loneliness is worse, that's a you problem to work on. Being alone and happy is stupidly powerful in life, and critically you can still make plenty of bad female based decisions without loneliness.

Here's the thing with women... they get more attention than they want most of the time, so where they put attention matters a ton. Ask yourself, does she need to be talking to me at all right now? Does she need to be friendly to me?

She sounds like she has no "kind" reason to do what she's doing... which leaves interest. Women can certainly turn on a dime as well though, so good luck there.

Now... bro... wherever you're getting your carne asada from, never go back there again... I get that beef prices are stupid these days, but whatever market that came from is lost on the concept hahah

wtf are you saying? hahah I am so lost... Your friend is a tattoo artist and a call center person... she works with you at the call center and you were getting a tattoo done by her at her other job as a tattoo artist? Like bro, assume no one knows all the details you're leaving out to make this story make sense. hahah

So the issue I think you're having is a common one for people when money gets involved and people get this sense of expectation about it... like after all I did for you... after all I spent on you...

Try this instead, spend the money if you want because you are enjoying yourself. Not to enhance her time, not to prove you have the money to spend, just because you want to do it. If she ditches after, cool, you still had fun for what it was and enjoyed yourself.

If you get bitter over the money spent after the fact, don't spend it. And I see you saying that "you know"... and that may be true on the surface, but you've got that transaction edge yourself showing up in your responses just from the other side. It's not about cheap dates only, its about going into it spending money thinking you're buying something rather than enjoying yourself either way.

That's a super weird sub it's one guy putting things on a slab of wood over and over again instead of a plate, very strange

Pretty normal as long as you don't really obsess about it. It goes away. I see a lot of people acting like the past never matters, I don't know a single guy in real life who if you asked them... 1 magic wish, you can add another body to the count or remove a body from the count from your partner... no one is saying yes. to that. It matters, its just not as big of a deal as some people try to make it online.

Don't obsess about it, that can rob you of the joy of the relationship. It goes away over time, especially if she's the real deal and you're with her for years and years. Like the past just isn't relevant eventually because you've been together for so long.

That said, I def have had a couple of ex's who overshared early in the relationship and just... yuck. hahah like I had one girl tell me her ex's semen was extremely disgusting to swallow because of all the drugs he did, but she tried her best... and just... I did not need that image in my head thanks. But even that wasn't a huge deal between us, just something I would have preferred to not have known.

It will pass, think about other things, and yeah if she still brings up ex's ask her not to.

What do people mean when they say "they spiraled" like I swear AI made it a buzzword, but just... what is a spiral to you?

2-3 months is a pretty healthy amount of time in my opinion. I mean you want her to feel the loss and that blends with your ego of course. Very normal. But I moved across the country for a girl, was with her for 5 years, and I was happily dating 2-3 months after the breakup. That felt a bit slow to me as well.

If the idea of her dating someone else bothers you, don't keep in contact.

To me, that's an ask what he meant by this moment. Because that's weird enough to just want to know what the intent was, while still potentially being utterly harmless or a mistake... but worth clearing up to avoid the doubt creeping in.

Kissy faces into blue heart at 7am is just bad flirting even if it is flirting hahaha

Even in the best possible light... assuming it's all innocent. She still broke your trust several times over. The things she did are all things that are totally ok to break up with her over even if nothing else happened.

You're not crazy, her communication style is meant to make you question reality. Not quite full gaslighting from what you're talking about but a very hostile style to be sure.

"I guess I always expected the man to take care of me". Ok but even in that situation we still need a budget since money is not infinite.

"I don't want to budget I want to live my life..." Ok so maybe this is just a different words for the same thing situation, lets talk more about how this works for you so I can understand. How do you determine what you will buy when you have two things that need to be paid for and only enough money for one of them? What do you call the process of saving for something you can't buy today?.....

And it sounds like you don't make much, so let me put 100% support behind you as someone who makes very good money. I see the exact same pattern your girlfriend is using even when you make a lot of money. It's an entitlement issue in her.

I have date women and paid for their entire lives, rent, clothes, trips... the whole thing when we're serious enough for that to make sense to me. Even then there's still a budget and it's always my choice... because being able to afford something doesn't make it an obligation.

I flew a girl I was with to Jamaica to spend time together and she wanted a tee shirt from the hotel. I told her I wouldn't buy it... it was over priced, but she was free to spend her own money on it... and she had a fit. She told me the same things your GF is saying to you now.

You can afford it, it won't bankrupt you, it's just a shirt... on and on. Entitlement is very toxic, and its sadly common with the way social media pushes that narrative.

So I would look into setting financial boundaries, try to stay calm and curious, not every woman is malicious, money can bring up a lot of feelings around shame and power and dependency. Ask questions first to see which kind of person you're talking to. The example about "budget" is a good one, she may hate the word, but in reality she's doing some kind of budgeting... work with that if you can... but if she refuses to budget and just expects you to pay... that's a very very serious issue in a relationship. You can love her and not be compatible with her... and to back you again... you're not crazy... very few men are compatible with a woman that thinks she is allowed to keep her hand in your pocket.

Relationship advice on social media is 95% rage bait. But that's not the issue, the issue is your GF is presenting social media as an authority in your relationship.

That is the angle I would discuss with her. If she has an issue of any kind you want to discuss it, not be shown a video. She's free to watch whatever she wants, but you want her words and her thought processes, and open discussion about what happened between you two.

What she's doing, accidently or otherwise, is making you the bad guy, showing you a video that proves her point in her mind, and then expecting you to react like a caught person willing to change to make her happy. That entire frame is wrong and needs to be resolved.

Do not argue the validity of the video or whether women's invisible effort is real or fair or anything else. Those are not the point here. If she brings them up acknowledge them and put them to the side as future topics of discussion once this one is finished. She needs to agree to discuss issues openly as it related to the two of you, not triangulate with tiktok.

Have you tried stalking their socials, rereading old messages, and ruminating? Then you've done everything you can do and it's time to move on.

Oh this is an easy one, not say its accurate, but very common cluster of behaviors.

Estranged from your father? Daddy issues.

Hate authority figures? Power dynamics are complicated with you, because of... daddy issues.

Like being choked? Submissive in bed.

You could also add, a hello kitty tattoo, septum piercing, body focused socials, and are very vocal about having no shame (while constantly pushing down immense feelings of shame)

I got up to we continued to hang out and sleep together and I kept telling her we are just friends. Like dude... I get it... but also, pick a lane... keep your friends in the friend circle which is distinctly outside of the sleeping together circle.

Hahahah dude, don't wait around and hope for the woman to choose you after interviewing the ex over dinner. What are you doing?

You don't have to dump her on the spot or anything, but you are 1000% ok to tell anyone you date that you're not comfortable with them going out to a 1-1 dinner with their ex while in a relationship with you. The fact you even need to say those words is already strongly suggesting that she's immature and selfish at best.

You need to work on communicating through difficult feelings because it sounds like you let her position you in such a way that it's ok for her to do this and happily sending you photos of her dinner while you hope she chooses you.... but bro... even if she chooses you, the way she treats you is not cool. Most men in your situation would lose their minds and feel terrible. Most women would never agree to this dinner. Don't settle for crumbs.