u/theroymccoy

Shawn Kemp doesn't know how to multiply.

I like to use womens deodorant and lotions instead of colognes and products made for guys.

Shit smells fresher, yo.

I won my high school's Starcraft Brood Wars tournament 3 years in a row.

I'm kinda buff, drive a raised up truck, wear flat brimmed caps. I am the ultimate bro/douche when you see me.

I'm sure you get this a lot but just wanted to let you guys know I always have the best sex when I put on Air Batucada.

So thank you.

My parents told me two 20 dollar bills make $100. This was to make my 2nd grade birthday gift sound extra awesome and to shut me up. I knew 20 + 20 = 40, but my young brain tried to rationalize it as some sort of "when you combine things of value together, it creates extra value."

DAT VASTUS LATERALIS

US President Lyndon B Johnson was a large man (6'4") and would actually bully people who opposed certain acts and laws he wanted passed. He would wait for them to enter the restroom and stand over that person and had a "chat". This would change their mind.

I had a dream I was doing Tera Patrick doggy-style. She was reading a magazine while I was hitting it. Actually that means she was bored. And now I'm sad. :*(

Steven Seagal

Not to sound pervy but how often do you want it and how often does it happen?

Is he a super busy guy and just doesn't have the time, does he just get too tired from work, or a combination of both?

Amongst my friends, I have not banged the hottest chick, nor the most chicks.

I have, however, banged a chick the fastest. I'm talking she was a total stranger at a party to she was at my apartment in 30 minutes.

15% or just double whatever the tax is to keep it simple.

Half used tubes of Preparation H sprawled everywhere.

Shit before it becomes an emergency.

Ask the big, strong guys who seem friendly and are walking around in between sets and are nearby (don't drag them across the entire gym). It's a sign of flattery. Don't go overboard with the questions though as they're most likely serious and want to get back to their own workout.

TI-83 calculator.

Texas Instruments can suck it.

Lascivious.

It sounds what it means..."Feeling an overt and often offensive sexual desire."

That asians don't all speak the same language. For reference I'm filipino...

Me and the lady friend walk past 2 guys speaking Japanese. She asks "what are they saying? I reply "I dunno I'm not Japanese." She was so confused..."But they're asian and you're asian."

BOOM. SHOO. Get yourself a baseball steak or sumpin'.

My friend is a nice guy but whenever we ask about Good ol' Uncle Bill his demeanor does a complete 180. We kinda learned to not ever bring it up again, haha.

I'm not sure...once he says "Fuck uncle Bill" that pretty much shuts down the convo.

He charges $20,000 to show up for a few hours for events. This is now btw, not back then when he was at the peak of his fame.

My friend is William Shatner's nephew.

He was one of the most hated members of the family. Constantly berated his wife to tears, even while at family gatherings.

"Fuck Uncle Bill" is all my friend would say about him, haha.

Maybe he never wanted to give her a signature in the first place and thought that $75 would shut that down.

Not condoning what he did; still pretty poopy of him.

Haha it's all good...no need to cover for Denzel. I think it's kind of a running joke in the industry. I remember a comedian saying the same thing about Denzel and ending the bit with "Why do you hate us Denzel?! We love you! Do you really think even 1 black person saw Crimson Tide?! No! It was just us white people! We love you!"