u/Flybri08

Yep exactly.. I’ve tried all the above but none of those fix the root cause of why I’m depressed in the first place. Doctors are so quick to put you on meds when you’re feeling down rather than figure out why you’re feeling down and make the appropriate treatment plan.

Well there’s always new meds coming out and maybe you’ll eventually find one that works for you hopefully then. Also this might sound cliche but every morning say 5 things you’re grateful for in your life. Positive affirmations have a way rewiring negative thought patterns that often contribute to depression. I’m a very pessimistic person though so I know how hard it is to see the positive in life situations. I’ve been over saturated with emotions lately with everything hitting me all at once. Staying busy at work seems to help me though on top of regular exercise and feeling good about how I look. Also my daughter has most likely saved my life with the gift of her coming into this world.

Well I will say this. If you can try and taper off any meds you’re currently on. Many people who’ve taken antidepressants report anhedonia which is weird cause they’re supposed to do the exact opposite for your brain.

It can only get better when you address the root cause of your depression. It’s not gonna get better just waiting around for things to get better. Some people aren’t gonna like me saying this but medication isn’t always the answer for depression. When I was on anti depressants it actually made me worse with all the side effects. Never felt like myself on meds. Sometimes just building new connections with people romantic or platonic can help. Also working out has been proven to rewire your brains chemistry. But the only times I really feel the benefits from working out is when I do a hard and vigorous workout. Also consistency with getting your workouts in every week is important. Is it easy? Nope. But it’s a good starting point. Also look into tms therapy, it’s been proven to help people with treatment resistant depression.

What’s the name of this place so I know to avoid it?

No not a pussy. I saw you must of deleted that comment but idgaf. If you knew the hell I’ve gone through in the last few years you’d be surprised that I’m even still here. And don’t fucking act like you’ve never cried before.

I think it really depends on the male. Me personally I’m a pretty built guy and tall, so unless someone has a weapon that I see on them, I’m generally not concerned about my safety. Cause I know I can easily defend myself against an unarmed person. Also I’ve already been through hell in life, really not much that scares me these days.

The part of me that wants to be able to see my daughter everyday says yes. But the logical part of my brain says no. After she ripped my heart out of my chest, refused to reconcile even after our daughter was born. Emasculated me and made me feel inadequate. Moved on to someone new pretty fast and broke my heart all over again. Then buried me financially in court with child support even though she’s the one that left and I never abused her or cheated on her, simply just wasn’t enough for her to stay. the domino affect it’s had on all my other relationships in my life with family, friends and potential new partners as well as health issues I’ve been having with my heart now. Too many things im having a hard time moving past still 3 years later now. Also I know even if the impossible did happen and we someone ended up together again, there would be too much resentment from past bullshit and it would ultimately just fail again.

You’re most likely not ugly like you think you are. Otherwise you wouldn’t be getting matches. Online dating is all about looks pretty much initially. So if you were ugly you wouldn’t t be getting matches let alone having those matches lead to sex. Maybe you just need to hold off on the sex for awhile with the next guy you meet. Cause that’s not uncommon for a guy to vanish after he gets sex with a woman too soon and easily.

I feel this for sure…my depression from my last heartbreak literally pushed any remaining friendships I had away. I’m fortunate to have my 2 year old baby girl though still. That’s the one good thing that came out of my last relationship. Besides that I have no support system and the girl I was talking to most recently just suddenly pulled away and haven’t heard from her in days. So yeah I feel like I have no one. Trying to meet someone new seems impossible lately.

Well I know life gets heavy at times cause I’m currently going through it myself. The world will be a worse place without you though. If you ever wanna talk dm me

Yep I can’t tell you how many times I tell people this about social media. It’s pure cancer for the dating world. Dating apps were supposed to make meeting people easier but it actually has made it harder for a lot of men especially.

You can’t base your whole worth on whether you’re married or not. All the “red flags” are really not red flags for a majority of people lol. Also consider yourself lucky you didn’t marry her. According to statistics 50% of all marriages end in divorce, roughly 80% initiated by the woman. You most likely dodged a divorce which would have screwed your life up even more most likely. Any woman who tells you you were. Backup option doesn’t respect you and would have most likely cheated or divorced you anyways. I’m 37 and never been married. Have a beautiful daughter though and have been with plenty of women in my life. Also stop comparing your life to others. Comparison is the thief of joy and we’re all on our timeline. You’re still pretty young and have a lot of time. Men’s sexual market value tends to increase after age 30 anyways especially if you have everything else in your life in order which sounds like you do.

I love your plump pussy too

Wtf?! Um your mother is the predator not you. You’re clearly traumatized by someone who wasn’t fit to be a mother. You were a child and couldn’t consent cause at the time you didn’t realize it was wrong. It easy to blame yourself for how you are now but it’s your mother’s fault not yours…

Yeah I feel you. Especially when you’re forced to accept certain things in your life that you have no power to change. Like for me it’s losing my family with the person I had a child with and losing vision in my left eye. Living with that constant heartache of feeling inadequate and the jealousy of her with someone new. The mental burnout of constantly working overtime just so I can afford child support and my basic needs. Then having a family that doesn’t respect me but tells me I would be selfish to take my life. Only reasons I’m still here is cause of my 2yo daughter and fear of the unknown of dying.

This is sad and I can relate to this man. Went through the worst breakup of my life over 2 years ago. She broke up with me after when she was a couple months pregnant with our daughter(yes she’s mine). I tried to be there for her as much as I could during the pregnancy and after when the baby was born. She was extremely cold towards me though most the time all because she lost attraction for me and didn’t think we were compatible. She acted like she was better than me and could do way better than me. Then when my daughter was 8 months old she started seeing someone. She kept it a secret and allowed me to find out about it when I saw his car at her house when I went to pick up my daughter in the am and he was obviously upstairs in her bed still. I struggled for months with those thoughts of her being with someone else. I started abusing PEDs at the gym cause I just didn’t give a fuck anymore about what would happen to me and I just wanted to hurt the guy. After things ended with that guy we for several months we slowly rebuilt our coparenting relationship and things started looking brighter for us. We even took our daughter to the zoo together and felt mixed signals from her cause she was warm and friendlier towards me than usual that day. We had plans to do other stuff with our daughter. But then weeks past and she suddenly started going cold again. One night I randomly checked her fb and she updated her relationship status randomly to “in a relationship with ___” I went completely pale in the face and sick to my stomach. I left work early that night and got a knife out tried to cut my wrists in a moment of weakness. The only thing that stopped me was looking at a picture of my daughter on my fridge so I called the suicide hotline. me and my ex have a terrible coparenting relationship now and we’re going to family court soon now which we both agreed from the start we wouldn’t do. I’ve been mocked and invalidated by so many people during this whole experience which is why I share my story with you guys. Men’s mental health is often laughed at or not taken seriously. So many people in my life just view me as “weak” now.

Permanent changes happening in your life that you have no control over fixing. Knowing no matter what you do you have to accept the hand that was dealt, no matter how heavy it is for you. The inability to accept your life as is, is probably what pushes most people to do it.

The sex alone won’t do it trust me I tried to do that to feel less depressed over my ex. Sex combined with emotional connection helps me a lot though. Still not going to make you feel 100% better though. The antidepressants can honestly make things worse for some people with the side effects. First step would be maybe tapering off those with your doctor. Then maybe try an all natural approach like working out, it’s helped me tremendously. I feel like the oxytocin from the physical connection with someone always made me feel more present and less sad. Were social beings by nature and weren’t meant to be alone.

Would of loved to have my daughter with the right woman and be a family right now. At 37 I feel like my time is running out to have a kid with the right woman, I currently have a 2 year old that I love dearly but I feel like I might never know what it feels like to have a family with the person I have a child with and not coparent like i am currently.

Yeah never understood the obsession with cats

I’ve learned no one is coming to save us. If you want things to get better you have to actively put in the effort to improve your life/well being. A good start would be starting a workout routine. Then work on your diet cause your brain and gut are connected. Talk to a therapist/family/friends about how you’re feeling. But you’re right it doesn’t get better when you sit around waiting for it to get better.

They would rather have 2 parents to “fight between” than only one parent trust me. I don’t know all the details of your situation but I’m sure there’s still legal steps you can take to get some power back in this situation. Sounds like your kids are almost legal adults anyways. So pretty soon they can make the choice for themselves which parent they wanna go see. It won’t be fair to them to have to grow up without their mom at such a young age though. They don’t wanna have to have your guidance by reading your letters you leave them. They’re gonna want you present in their lives as much as you can be for them.

Yeah but if you take your own life the kids will never get to hear your side of the story. Show them that he’s wrong about you and the kids will see for themselves. I’m sure you’re a great mom and they won’t need to get information from other people as long as you keep being there for them. You’re their mother and they will always love you no matter what he or anyone else says. Eventually they might see their dad as the toxic one for talking bad about you and choose to spend more time with you.

Well you’re not alone there…I only see my daughter 2 nights a week. 3 if my ex is feelings generous since there’s no court ordered agreement. But I’d rather me and my daughter see eachother those couple nights a week than never again. At least then my daughter will see when she’s older that despite all my struggles in life I stuck around and tried to be the best dad I could for her on the days I was able to spend with her.