u/Rae-Swallows

If you ain't first, you're last!

Double ply toilet paper

Useless in my house. I'm undefeated against snacks.

LOL I got one of these when I posted a sarky/funny title to one of my posts about finding something at the beach and saying when I licked it, it tasted salty. Coz that subreddit is notorious for asking people who take pics of holding random stuff with no gloves if they tasted it.

I had to edit my post coz people were just not catching the joke part of my post 😂

Well, I guess you didn't die.

Better luck next year.

Start by peeling them.

But it's Mike though...

Charmed

Anything is when you try hard enough...

You mean by the tit

I'll shit you out later

It has a flared base...so...

*Waits right here...

I got what I thought was my dream career at my dream company.

After a superior harassed me and my direct management blamed me for being "overly sensitive due to working long hours"...I realised it was just that. A dream.

Pretty self explanatory I'd say...

Yesterday I vividly remembered blasting Cry For You by September through a ridiculous subwoofer in my ex's Toyota conquest outside the club while having a smoke before all 7 of us piled in so I could drive us home...

Great news...

😨 threw it across the room... Nevermind dropped it

You need more recognition!

I would love to rate you. Take a look at my peach and if you like it let me know 😘

I would love to share all my rants and whines with you and have you affirm that I'm always right ☺️

Sounds like fun 😘 get in touch if I seem like what you're into 🫶🏻

😌 I'm interviewing for the position

I absolutely love the feeling of nylon in my skin, especially between my teasing hands... Contact me so we can hook up 😘

I'm ready when you are 😘