u/ashmkim

I don’t cry during movies. Never have. I think I’m a decent, empathetic and kind person. I just don’t feel connected to movies in that way? I wouldn’t worry about this at all.

Same here! I really enjoy baking them extravagant cakes. It is stressful getting everything else ready on top of the full day it takes to bake, and decorate the cake 🎂 but I don’t think buying a cake makes someone a “low effort mom.”

I am also a stay at home mom, and while I have raised my voice at my kids, this is something that has only happened a few times (my oldest is 7). I apologize afterward and make sure they know they do not ever deserve to be yelled at.

Yelling daily is absolutely not okay. Do some reading/research about the effects of yelling at children. Try to sit her down and let her know that you’ve learned these things and you’d like to find a way for the both of you to work on making sure you’re not yelling at your son. I’m aware it’s a “her” problem, but if you approach it in a way that’s more “us” vs the problem, you’re likely to get more cooperation.

Maybe suggest you spend some quality time with him on one of your days off, and she can have some time to spend on her hobbies, to hopefully help her with her patience when he isn’t listening.

Also, please make sure she knows that a 3 year old not listening is 100% developmentally appropriate. I really benefitted from the book “How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen” by Faber and King. It helped me to find ways to get my toddler to cooperate that wasn’t frustrating for the both of us.

You can try sewing stuffed animals for the 5yo and newborn, filling with sheep’s wool. I think the adults would enjoy some nicely canned/preserved foods. Try to make it look beautiful with ribbons, etc. Teenagers are tough, but maybe spin wool into yarn and some stuffing and print directions to learn to make a little character; sort of like those DIY Woobles kits. Good luck!

Oh and do consider checking out the Desert Botanical Garden. It’s a lovely place and they have amazing classes and events. From yoga/sound meditations, to cooking, to photography/art; you’re bound to find something.

I read to my 7 and 3 year old every night. They each get to pick 1 book to read before bed. Sometimes they’re short, sometimes they’re long. I’d say we average about 20mins/night. We never skip a night or I would never hear the end of it 😂 but I really do love how important their bedtime stories are to them.

It’s also an easy thing to take away if they’re not cooperating with getting ready for bed. They know if they don’t get their pj’s on and brush their teeth, I won’t have the time or energy to read them stories after helping them with those things.

Where are you traveling from?

I do think there is a ton to do in Phoenix and late Jan-early Feb is a wonderful time to visit! In Phoenix/Scottsdale, it’s the time of year everyone is outside, hiking is great, walking around outside is comfortable.

If you’re open to it, a day trip or even spending a night or 2 in Sedona would be a wonderful way to celebrate your anniversary. It’s only a 2hr drive from Phoenix.

Enjoy your anniversary!

If she specifically told you she wanted you to have it, then sharing it with your siblings would be going against her dying wishes. If they can’t understand why you aren’t comfortable doing that, then they aren’t REAL FAMILY; they just share DNA. Respect her last wishes and hope that your siblings can understand and respect your choice to honor your grandmother

Yikes, YOU are such a colossal AH. Please do her a favor and break up. Ideally let her know you cheated though.

This must be why you are dating women in their twenties. You have the emotional maturity of a salted slug.

Like a lot of others have said here, eating your foods in “order” (veg, protein, then carbs) can make a huge difference. Always pairing carbs with a fiber or protein helps me tremendously to avoid spikes. And moving after eating (walks after meals).

I am not at all dogmatic about my reduction of carbs (in fact I’m still quite liberal with them), but when I think about it more as prioritizing veggies and meat, it feels less restrictive? I focus more on my goal of having more nutrient dense foods to nourish my body, than restricting my intake of carbs necessarily. Basically, trying a reframe on the way you view your diet, without a dogmatic or prescriptive “rule” to follow. Good luck!

Ok, but 99% of everything else I said still stands even if you don’t “believe” in love languages. It could still be a bid for connection 🙄

I also do believe that her choices need to have consequences. If you are going on a “fun” outing, she cannot go unless she gets dressed. She cannot have any treats, juices, fruit, etc, if she doesn’t brush her teeth. Things like this. And FOLLOW THROUGH.

Yes! Being playful is a wonderful way to get kids to cooperate!

This is a very important point.

Her love language might be acts of service and this is a bid for connection. I think being stern about it most of the time is appropriate, but sometimes it can really help to sit with her and take your time to do it sweetly. Love on her a bit while you’re doing it. And you can say something like, “sweetie, I love to pamper you and take care of you sometimes. And most of the time, it is very important for you to practice your independence. I want you to grow into an independent, strong young lady, and when I ask you to do things on your own, I’m only helping you to grow. I want what is best for you.” And I always told my daughter that I would help her if she’s REALLY tired or something, but she needs to communicate with me. She uses this VERY sparingly, but she knows I’m there for her if she really needs it. This has worked for me. When they’re little, they’re learning; and doing it EVERY time feels like a grind. You might find if you do it lovingly 1 out of 4 times, she will be much more agreeable to doing it on her own the other 3. She will ask for help less and less as she grows, and she will feel supported by you.

Little known fact: MiraLAX has been shown to actually create behavioral problems in some children. Do what you will with that.

There are lots of other options. We have settled into a routine of Begin Health prebiotics daily (formulated to help with constipation; may take about a month to start helping), chiropractic, and epsom salt baths. We also do abdominal massages, and magnesium spray on the feet. Oral magnesium and Vitamic C supplements can help to clean out as well.

I do agree, if she’s passing liquid stool, she may have a hard blockage. I would say it’s time for the suppository/enema to get that out. Then settle into a more aggressive routine for maintenance.

We have 1 mini for a 7 and 3.5 year old. It’s been mostly fine, but we did get a good deal on another mini we will gift the younger one for the holidays. I’ve never yearned for a full size. We love our mini!

The idea isn’t that tv is BAD. It’s that watching a lot of tv takes away from other, very important types of play. Imaginative play, messy play, art, etc. I think ideally you want to be well rounded about making sure your child CAN play independently without the instant gratification of tv. And yes, the content REALLY matters.

Being ascribed nefarious motives 🙌🏼 this one hits home!

NTA, dump him for sure. Really try to deep dive into how you ended up in a one sided relationship like this, so it doesn’t happen again.

We lived with my mom for a few months, then my MIL for a few months at the end of my pregnancy with our first child and the first few months of her life. It allowed us to save up for a down payment for our house. We closed and moved in to our home in May 2020 after living with parents for about 10-11months. We are happy and on our feet with a very reasonable mortgage. It sounds like you thought this through; a few months of saving can really help you get ahead. Good luck!

OMG what? Tell his ass to get a job and then maybe you’ll be more interested in getting down. It’s not attractive to be with a grown man who acts like a teenager and doesn’t DO HIS PART to support his family. This “man”gives me the ick so bad. Soft ESH because you’ve clearly been groomed to think this is ok (spoiler alert: it’s not) and he’s a huge AH over and over and over again!

This is all developmentally appropriate. Stay consistent, even (and especially) when it feels hopeless. You will come out the other side with a kid who trusts you to guide them through the world. High expectations and high support. Good luck!

Yes. My husband travels for work. So he will be fully gone for several days at a time. When he IS home though, he’s a super involved dad and pretty much wants to spend all this available time with them. He is wonderful. That said, he often doesn’t know the routine or what the kids are into at that time. I have a lot more patience, because I know that he tries his best.

Maybe try to remind him that your little one is only this little for a short while and expectations are different than they were with your son. Your 6 month old deserves a present father. You CAN manage without him. But maybe show him research about how important and beneficial it is for children to have 2 involved parents. This is so hard. Good luck!

Sorry, but I don’t think asking you to move your disruptive toddler away so the other kids can enjoy the story is “scolding” you. The librarian is just trying to protect the experience of everyone there and let you know the expectations. I don’t think you should take it this personally.