Gift exchange with non-granola family

Hi all, it is getting to be that time of year and I am wondering what you do about gift exchanging with family that have a less eco-conscious and/or minimalist value system?

Before everyone suggests it: no gifts is not an option. We can ask for no gifts but we will still get them. Home-made or thrifted gifts also not an option, will just be seen as harder than "regular" gifts. We have also tried (and failed) to ask for experience gifts.

So... any suggestions on more low effort or conventional items that we should ask for? So far I have... socks. :)

39 comments · 97% upvoted · other discussions

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1Shadow179

how about books?

Vegemiteonpikelets

We always ask for books and ask people to forgo a card and just write in the book.

athleisureootd

Can you ask for consumables? Oils, wines, vinegars?

littlelady89

When I was reading the thread I was initially only thinking about children gifts. Which made this answer hilarious.

athleisureootd

Omg haha no upon reread the question is def asking for kids gift ideas haha

littlelady89

I wonder if I could get my 4 year old into vinegars. Maybe she would start to enjoy salad 😂.

breakplans

It translates to kid stuff though! Can be food like a big pack of their favorite snacks, juice boxes, etc. or art supplies!

Ok_Mastodon_2436

I did too hahah

[deleted]

Definitely the next size up in shoes or winter coats for kids. Books, crayons, puzzles, etc. (stuff that is at least paper/reusable/or makes a good donation after use)

For adults, I like the consumables idea. You can include cosmetics and linens to that list also.

I don’t recommend sending them to specialty stores to look for items. Try to find a couple things you know Target and Walmart have.

littlemouf

Membership to the zoo or children's museum? Gift cards for favorite coffeeshop for dates w the kiddos? Books? Locally made things: honey, candles, art, balms etc

A great gift idea we've been doing to support our local farmers/fisherman is to buy a box of their meat and have it shipped as a gift. Could you ask for a meat box from a local farm? CSA membership for produce?

Good luck. This stuff is hard to navigate. We always just end up donating or returning the plastic junk we get

[deleted]

My SILs and I have all agreed that toy storage is rough. None of us have room for more stuff for the sake of stuff. The agreement is we gift their kids books and they gift our kids books.

For the adults we either do no gift or something consumable like fancy cheeses or jams.

lurkmode_off

I see that you already tried asking for experience gifts, but I wanted to check:

"Please plan to go on a fun outing with us" might not fly as a "gift" with certain families, but "please buy us a membership to the kids science museum" or "please buy us tickets to indoor sky diving" or "please buy kiddo a season pass to the ski hill"--basically something tangible they can still box up and gift in the moment--might work better.

MensaCurmudgeon

Board games are always fun and came at a range of price points

catttmommm

Ask for art supplies! Crayons, sticker books, paint, etc. Things that can be used up.

CellularLevel

I was blessed to marry into a crunchy family and these were our big gifts from past years: - a very nice, big clothes drying rack - a wool comforter - latex pillows

Maybe things that would make the day to day better but may not want to splurge on. A dutch oven, stasher bags, silipats, or really nice kitchen utensils (I love Rösle but the price is limiting but the quality is phenomenal).

Or take a peak at local shops! If they're going to buy things, guide them towards small business. We have a local soap maker and the soaps and lotions made from natural ingredients and essential oils make great gifts!

usernametaken99991

No batteries cuts down on the vast majority of cruddy toys

lil1234567891234567

For kids melissa and Doug toys are a good mainstream brand but most of them are wood and can be bought regular places like target. Plan toys, hape, haba are good too and sometimes I see them at regular stores as well. Nice outerwear is always good. Depending on budget something like a play kitchen or mud kitchen, or even wood/steel child size cooking stuff for the real kitchen depending on age.

ETA ikea has a bunch of reasonably priced, quality arts and crafts stuff

iheartpizzaberrymuch

If there is a thing you really like you can be very specific like botanical gardens membership or just donate what they get you

Kcquesdilla

Body care products. Ask for the expense stuff you wouldn’t want to pay for yourself. 

vintagegirlgame

Give them some brands you like at Whole Foods if you’re in America, should be easy enough for them.

norrainnorsun

Hmm maybe ask for things you’ll use and will last? / things that you can use to make/preserve things at home so you don’t need to buy it. I don’t know the budget but maybe a kitchen aid, steel cookware, a dehydrator, a nice Dutch oven to make bread, a baking stone, curtains, art from a local artist, an air purifier, a good quality humidifier if you need it, high quality wooden spoons, linen sheets, stuff to make soap, canning tongs/jars/a giant pot, glass Tupperware, glass storage for flour and sugar, a steam cleaner, plants/plant accessories, gardening tools, camping gear, a wind chime, a bird bath, a bird feeder:) or maybe a gift card to half priced books?

Maybe you’re more minimalist than me tho haha. im mostly just against useless junk like a million lotions and mugs and the temu stocking stuffers my mom gets out of obligation. I love a useful gift.

littlelady89

We ask all family members for a book/small item and an RESP contribution. Which is the child education fund in Canada.

lemonh0ney

babylist has registries u can make for kids that u can add from any site. it’s basically like a registry for a bday party but u can just label it as holiday gifts for ur child with their name so ur family can pick from a list of items u have approved. and u can just say it’s ’to make it easier for them’ when in reality it’s easier for u lol.

Violetz_Tea

Art supplies! Yarn, watercolors, blank sketchbooks, clay, loom, duct tape, washi tape, stickers, alcohol markers, oil pastels, tempera paint sticks, canvases, etc.

Powerful_Weather3686

I make a wishlist and tell my family to stick to the lists please as we will not be able to keep anything that is not on our approved lists. 

MolleezMom

Given them specific items you would like and have them pick from that.

caesarsalad94

I like to cook so sometimes ask for premium items I wouldn’t typically buy - fancy spices etc. Also, flowers?

JewelOscaur

We’ve used Elfster in the past to set up secret Santa with my husband’s family and it’s worked for both kids and adults. We set a max $ amount and each add at least 5 things to our list for the secret Santa to choose from. You have to provide a link for each item so it really eliminates any guesswork. It keeps gifts to a minimum and also guarantees we’ll each get something we like that meets our values! I bet it would work for experience gifts like museum tickets too.

gettingitknit

Ask for arts and crafts supplies and kits. Slime kits, cardboard houses from target, paint sticks or craft kits Kiwi Crates are another good option. It's not perfectly eco, granola, anti consumption BUT they are things which people like to give things and they give you and your child something to do that doesn't stay in your house for ever or become a struggle to get rid of later.

Glass_Bus_5088

If something smaller dish towels, books, food, craft supplies, gift cards you could use on experiences or everyday needs. If you are thinking higher budget maybe nice pots / pans / dishes/ cast iron stuff that you normally wouldn’t get, tools for projects around the house, nice bedding, annual pass / membership to the local zoo/ aquarium.

Numinous-Nebulae

Books, socks/clothes, very specific toys with links, and a bold underlined warning about NO Amazon/temu/etc. toys for safety reasons. A request for only 1 gift per child?

rgb_mode

this is a great question. here for some answers.

Nomad8490

Books, lessons, tickets.

I tend to focus on activities and experiences when giving gifts because that's what I like to receive. So like a cool kite or puzzle instead of a stuffed animal, for instance. The best gifts are the ones that get you to do something.

smehdoihaveto

Consumables! Ask for things that you might enjoy and be buying anyways (wine, nice lotion, gourmet snacks, fancy soaps, etc.)

Or maybe some not so consumable but fits your lifestyle? For me, that would be a new potted plant, wool hiking socks (Darn Toughs), or nice durable slippers (Bombas).

Alive_Hold8222

Ask for a cash/check donation to be made to an organization you love. Who could say no to that????

Inspected_By1410

I love going to craft shows around the holidays and buying to gift locally made soaps, dish towels, fancy balsamic vinegar and oil sets, maple syrup. For kids we buy board games that we love to play as a family.

We also make sourdough, jams and things we tuck into gift baskets.

I think leading by example helps people understand what your idea of a good gift is :)